I Need Advice to Get Over Him

you do NOT need pills or anti depresents

you just need some way to stop what your doing
realize hes an a** and uses you
wallow in the sweet misery of all thats happened
and proceed with your life

I know I don't need pills or anything I just need away to get over him to somehow get him out of my life. No one can seem to give me advice n that.

Ofcourse your upset!! He was your first and you loved him. Hes a jack butt.
Im sorry you have to feel this way. Can you switch schools?

Thankz........Im sorry I have to feel this way to
I thought love was a good thing but all i've had so far was
Pain and suffering

I can tell you this from a guys POV. You were nothing but a fling to him...sorry to say this but its true. Listen im sure your an attractive young woman, there are plenty of guys out there for you. I can understand you fell in love with him because he was your first. I guarantee you that if you gave somebody a chance they can steal your heart in a much different and more special way than the way he got yours. Theres more to life than that. Your still young you need to go out there and discover what the meaning of love really is. Dont feel bad about yourself, you dont sound like a bad person. So just move on and find some lucky guy who will make you happy. Just look back and think..this guy has made you cut yourself and think about killing yourself. Is that the kinda guy you want...somebody who makes you wanna kill yourself??? Listen honey its time to move on now chin up and keep on truckin.

Hi:

A view from a 50-year-old woman who has been over that bridge before.

First off, I think you've realized by now that a relationship built on a lie will never last. I don't know what kind of lie it was but the fact that it went on for awhile and it sounds like you didn't own up makes me wonder. How would you feel if that had happened to you? Would you be as forgiving?

OK, you've learned your lesson, namely that every rose has its thorns. Now, how to go about getting your life in order?

First off, STAY COMPLETELY AWAY from him. Take his telephone number off every place you have it and DO NOT TEXT him. It will take a great effort on your part to do this but if you can, you're on your way. If you have mutual friends, avoid them for awhile. They may mean well in telling you what he's doing but they're not helping you.

Next, go ahead and mourn your loss. Every break-up teaches a lesson. With my first "True Love" (way before you were born) I learned that I wasn't the bad person I believed he said I was, that I had worth. That love is between equals not a master-slave relationship (I don't mean BDSM). Don't be surprised if you dream about him. I did for quite awhile and would wake up in a cold sweat. Even 22 years later I occasionally have a dream but in these dreams I'm telling him that there's no way we can ever get back together.

Then start focusing on yourself. You need to be a friend to yourself before you can be a friend to anyone else. Cutting is not the answer. Why would you defile yourself over a mistake? You are a person with worth and are NOT a doormat. Make some changes--out with the old, in the new. Change your hair (color, style, length), buy some new clothing (consignment shops have great stuff at good prices), whatever reminds you of that part of your past gets pitched. You don't say how old you are so I'm trying to come up with ideas that don't cost much.

If you're in school, now's the time to make new friends and join some new activities. Is there something you've always wanted to do and never did (learn to play chess, join a book club, whatever)? Now's the time! Form a study group for one of the classes you may find either really easy (where you can help others) or really hard (where you can receive help). You'll have a group of people that you'll have something in common with.

I really haven't had all that many relationships in my life (I married for the first time when I was 3, and there was usually a multi-year period between them (I'm a slow healer). However, I've been blessed with a wonderful support group of friends, both male and female, with whom I could hang out and who would keep me on the straight and narrow. Do you have any kind of support network?

The thing is, you have to take that first step. None of us can do that for you. It's very difficult and very scary. To put it coldly, he was a habit you picked up and now it's time to drop it. But you know, you have the power to change your life, make new choices. Of course you're going to make a few mistakes but that's how you learn.

The first love is often the hardest because "love" is presented as sonnets and symphonies. Even the first few months of any relationship has one walking on air. You'll know when you're in a committed relationship if you can accept each other for who they are (bad faults included), trust each other, be there for there for each other--all the things that friends do for each other. After all, friendship is the basis for anything further. Even if it doesn't work out you may be able to part as good friends and discover another side of that person you can appreciate. Not all love is romantic and I think the "filial" love may be more lasting.

You will get over your sadness but if you're not feeling better after a few weeks I suggest you consider seeing a mental health professional. You may have a short-lasting depression that could be overcome by just talking things through.

Good luck and keep posting. We do care.

nobody who causes you to do things you normally wouldn't do is worth it, hon. Give yourself time, keep doing things you love to do that do not include him. time heals all.

As they said, he wasn't worth it. You spent too much energy toiling over this guy, what a waste. Spend your healing time doing things that'll help stop you from thinking, do volunteer work or join clubs or some sort of activity that requires you to think about things other then yourself and your misery.

All I want to say is, if you can get over this, get what needs to be done in life, and realize this bunghole of a man you thought was worth your love was a fake, some years from now, when you are going to reflect on your past, you are going to sit there and simply laugh and go "jeez, what an fool I was, I could have spent those months in pain doing things I wanted to do".

Ok I no wen i wrote this i said me and this boy have been on and off for about a year.....But we have a child together.........we've technically been on and off for about 4 years but I haven't counted the past becuz in august about 2 or 3 months b4 i had my daughter we broke up and we stayed apart for about 2yrs.....its so hard for me to get over him becuz i have to see him wen he sees my daughter infact i have to see him when i look at my daughter this is why i need help getting over him

aww, getting over a guy is the worst when you keep thinking about them. But this always helps me! i go out, buy something that makes me happy, whether its a new expensive purse or some new clothes. anything that will make you feel sexy, then i work out really hard and buy myself some new make up and pretty much just make myself over. then i feel 10times sexier and i wonder what was i doing with him anyway! Just do something that will make you feel good about yourself. this will also make other guys notice you and that's always good for an ego boost. :] goodluck girl. and whatever you do, cutting isn't going to heal your pain, if anything it will just leave the pain you were feeling inside visible for all to see and you'll always be reminded about this guy every time you see it once you are feeling better.
forget him! he's not worth damaging your body! girls are supposed to be sexy and always have the upper hand. if he can't be with you for you, then it's his loss!

with my first boyfriend it was tough i had been dating him for over a year and a half when i realized i couldnt really stand certain things about it and everytime i was faced with those things it made me angry, upset, annoyed, or moody so i broke up with him. a while after that we got bac together because we were always together anyways so it was a "why not" thing. then he broke up with me 2 days later... just to break up with me. the things was i was really upset at the break up both times, i had become so emotionally attached to him because we were always together and we really cared about each other.

for a long time i just got angry or upset with myself, he would come over and didnt make it much better. i got very depressed and emotional. i was really in need of someone to be there for me and he was the only person i could think of for that. during that time i had been moving (i had moved 4 or 5 times by then and i had only started moving maybe 6 months earlier) and i had switched schools 3 times.

eventually i sat myself down and said "look hon your great and he was for a while, but you need to go on, your really strong you can do it you have your family and friends to help you."

i guess my little pep talk worked. i guess what helped me move pat him and stop trying to win his affections back was i found myself thinking logically again, i remembered that we didnt really fit that well as a couple during the last few months and he really wasnt what i wanted in a boyfriend anymore. and i found new interests eventually and it took me a while and a lot of dating to find someone who really does share the same interests as me. we are in a relationship that we talk about because what we want from this relationship changes as time adds up. and we know what we really want to do in life.

i guess my advise is to find out what you really want in a boyfriend. make an honest list of what type of a boyfriend you want. really just start dating. maybe ask a guy out. make sure you have confidence in yourself. and breathe. just breathe calmly and remember you have to do what is right for you. destroying yourself over some guy isn't healthy. do whats right for you mentaly, physically, and emotionally.

and find an escape... like skating helps to relax me. during the summer when im stressed out i take out my roller blades and skate for miles sometimes the 12 miles to the beach and then back. and in the winter i put on my old ice skates and do tricks on the rink. to remind me how much fun living can be.