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Bf Unable to Ejaulate

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Have recently become sexually active with bf - who isn't able to ejaculate. Definately can hold an erection, but we just haven't been able to get him to finish the deal. This has occurred during oral sex, intercourse and plain old fashioned hand job.

He's not on any medication. He's able to ejaculate when he masterbates. From the reading I've been doing, I know be caused by a myraid of issues - and I know that has been embarrassing for him. I want to do all that I can to help the situation (without him knowing it - and without talking about it yet).

For anyone who has suffered similiar problems - has there been anything that your partner has done that has helped to get over that hump? He enjoys me being on top, he enjoys oral sex, I've initiated - I'm on my way to buy a new silver bullet to try on him the next time. If it's because he's just not that into me, that's okay too - but he's the one that has pursued a relationship with me, so at this point, I don't think that is the cause.

I'd welcome any and all suggestions!!
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First Helper alliejane
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replied September 6th, 2007
Active User, very eHealthy
Re: Bf Unable to Ejaulate
alliejane wrote:
Have recently become sexually active with bf - who isn't able to ejaculate. Definately can hold an erection, but we just haven't been able to get him to finish the deal. This has occurred during oral sex, intercourse and plain old fashioned hand job.

He's not on any medication. He's able to ejaculate when he masterbates. From the reading I've been doing, I know be caused by a myraid of issues - and I know that has been embarrassing for him. I want to do all that I can to help the situation (without him knowing it - and without talking about it yet).

For anyone who has suffered similiar problems - has there been anything that your partner has done that has helped to get over that hump? He enjoys me being on top, he enjoys oral sex, I've initiated - I'm on my way to buy a new silver bullet to try on him the next time. If it's because he's just not that into me, that's okay too - but he's the one that has pursued a relationship with me, so at this point, I don't think that is the cause.

I'd welcome any and all suggestions!!


Okay alliejane, if he can come by masturbating, then that means it's probably not something mechanical, but only a doctor can check him out inside. My question is did he have this problem with other partners?

If not, then maybe he has a mental issue with you. You sound like a good partner, offering any and all services, but something may be bothering him about sex with you.

It wouldn't hurt for him to visit a urologist just to see that everything involved in ejaculation is working. If he checks out okay, then maybe have him masturbate in front of you and see if he can still ejaculate. You help him, of course, so that he stays hard and follows through all the way.

If he can't ejaculate in that case, then it may be time for him to visit a psychologist to see if he has a hangup of sex with you. That's about all I can think of suggesting.

Good luck.
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replied September 7th, 2007
You know, I am not a shrink. But it could just be the manifestation of his homosexuality preventing him from climaxing with somebody that he is not attracted to.

I don't mean to be rude, but it is a plausible reason
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replied September 7th, 2007
Especially eHealthy
jasonray wrote:
You know, I am not a shrink. But it could just be the manifestation of his homosexuality preventing him from climaxing with somebody that he is not attracted to.

I don't mean to be rude, but it is a plausible reason

Where in god's name did you get that from? Just because a guy can't orgasm with a new chick doesn't automatically make him gay!
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replied August 31st, 2008
bf not able to cum
Allie, I have same issue. New bf not able to cum in presence of another person. He can become aroused looking at porn and self gratification but can't manage with me. He has visited urologist and they found no physical problem. Obviously if he can cum on own he has no physical issues. But his conditioning since he was young has been thru self-gratification and I personally think if he changes that he may see success but there are no guarantees. If there are any professionals out there that can address this, please do. OH and he is not gay!
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replied August 31st, 2008
It could be anything. this happened with me. I was giving him oral sex for an hour and still nothing. I think I might now a trick to help you. Have you tried giving him a handjob then oral? I did that three or four times and he ejeculated fine. and it didn't take that long. I don't know what you could do about the sex though.
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replied February 5th, 2009
cant hold erection, nor can reach an ejeculation
ok he is 69, and still loves sex, but can get an errection, nor can he have an ejeculation. he is on blood pressure meds,and also a dibetic.
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