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March 20th, 2004
I am currently in an interracial relationship. I am white, and my boyfriend is half white, half samoan/black(although everything about him besides his skin color is white). I love him so much - he makes me happy, we have a lot in common, he's supportive, respectful, funny, caring, fun to be around...Everything I could possibly ask for in a boyfriend. Aside from our own personal character flaws (which everyone has), we have an almost perfect relationship...Except for the fact that my parents are very unsupportive of it. His family is great, and all of our friends think nothing of it. We do have a good hours distance between us, and he is 4 years older (i'm eighteen, but neither of those factors affect us (except that we miss each other and and can't see each other every day). I do not know how to get through to my parents, and I am feeling really betrayed by them. They seem to care more about what other people think than what makes me happy. We have been dating for nearly 9 months now, and I am only getting closer to him. It hurts me that they won't open their minds a little to give him a chance, and it hurts him because they have no interest in getting to know him. I'm at my wit's end right now, because I feel like I have to chose between my family and my boyfriend. If anyone has any advice for me, it would be greatly appreciated. I also want to know what the forum members feel about interracial relationships, and multiracial children. Any input would be great, thank you.
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KariM18
replied April 2nd, 2004
Extremely eHealthy
Omg I so feel u! I was dating someone black and im white. .My parents made it hell for me. .They never excepted it. .Eventually we broke up. I dont know if theres a way to convince parents that its not bad if thats how their mind is set. But I know that I would do it again if I loved someone, I dont care what their skin color is. Like isaid, I dont know if u can change them , but that doesnt mean u have to be like em. Eventually I bet they would come around, especially once u had kids.. But u have to remember, their feelings about that were obviously developed over a long period of time. .So it can take a long time to change.Goodluck hun!! Im 18 too by the way*
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kat6963420
replied April 20th, 2004
I know what it is like also. I dated a black guy in ihgh school and my parents disapproved of it. Out of high school I dated a bi-racial man and they had no problem with it. Your an adult and you make your own decisions. Don't let your parents racism ruin your life, especially when you love this man. If he is good to you then why would you want ot lose that just because your parents dont agree. I had a friend and her father was against the idea of her dating a black man, with her being korean. Eventually he realized he was a good guy and he supported it. Follow your heart and don't let anyone tell you who you should or should not be with.
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oopoop
replied April 22nd, 2004
Extremely eHealthy
It's important to live your life, and not to allow your parents' racism and intolerance keep you from being happy. Parents can sometimes be overprotective, so they may try to discourage an interracial relationship because they are worried your future life will be difficult. Other times they are simply racist. If your parents are being too protective, or maybe thinking that you are infatuated with an older, quite glamorous man, then if you behave maturely and sensible, they will get used to the idea. If it's really a race thing, you may just have to decide that theire opinions are not something you should be bothered about.

I have a friend who is from the deep south. He's a lawyer, and met and fell in love with another lawyer. She was from canada, although her parents came from india. His parents refused to accept the relationship. Eventually he just said, tough -- this is the person I want to be with, who makes me happy. They got married. His parents refused to attend the wedding. They have a baby now, and although his mother has begun to accept things, his father still refuses to acknowledge his wife.

The question is -- are those attitudes worth respecting? If you give in to them, giving up love and principles, they will keep thinking they are right.

Be strong and good luck.
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2ferano
replied July 19th, 2004
Extremely eHealthy
The plain truth is you cannot help who you fall in love with. And color/race does not matter. Anyone who thinks it does and will not open their minds are pure trash.
I happen to know a lot of black women who date white men. And a lot of white women who date black men. Who freakin cares? There isn't any "major plan" behind it. You just cannot help who you are attracted to, or who you love.
Anyone who will not accept the relationship is not worth your time. If it is your family, yeah that really sucks, but either they will eventually come around and wisen up or I guess you were better off without them.
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2ferano
replied July 20th, 2004
Extremely eHealthy
I cannot read your private messages!? Are you on crack? Once again, I cannot delete your posts/ read your private messages or anything else for that matter.
And don't tell me to let it go when you are the one posting!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am active on all of these forums, I do not purposely post after you. Trust me I would rather do anything else then get you started on your "everybody hates me" crap.

Leave me the freak alone. I do not drive people away from this site, people like you do. People who cannot just let other people post their opinions and let it go. Just because most people do not agree with you does not mean that they are debating nor does it mean that we are all wrong.

So, you just let it go. And stop making posts about me.
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bd1012
replied July 20th, 2004
Extremely eHealthy
Help me, she was not posting towards you and you need to stop this bs, because it is even pissing me off! If your name was in her post, then she was posting towards you and you are the one who was picking the debate, and if you don't like her "debating with you" (in your words, not mine) then leave it be and don't reply towards her, even though she is not. It was quite obvious to me that she was only posting her opinion which I happen to share and I was also going to post on here because it is a topic that I did not see until now that I feel strongly about. She prob had the same reasons.

So why don't you just back off and stop the nonsense!!
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2ferano
replied July 20th, 2004
Extremely eHealthy
I did stop!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!G et a freakin clue!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!You started all of this in the first place!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!You started arguing with me about everything. I did nothing to you. You are only doing this because you either are niceguy/ or niceguy told you to. So who is the dummy? Not me.
You started this all over again with the post towards me. If you don't want contact with someone then you do not start posts about them. That is common sense.

And that post was not "directed at you" no, I did not agree with you and your post was very racist, but I did not mention your name at all. I stated my opinion and that is allowed. You are the one who made a debate out of it.
Grow up!
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2ferano
replied July 20th, 2004
Extremely eHealthy
Oh, now you don't know niceguy. You said in a previous post that he "warned" you about me.

Just because one black man tells you something does not make it fact for everyone. And, personally, I don't believe that a black man did tell you that. I believe you said that so that people would not take your remark offensively.

That was a very racist remark regardless of who originally stated it, and I find it very offensive.

I did leave you alone, you are the one dragging this out.
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