Is This Relationship Going to Work Or Not? Posted: 08-29-07 21:14pm
Ok, so ive been seeing this girl for a
month or so. We've known each other for
about 6mo. We work together. Thats how we
met. She had had the same boyfriend for
something like 3 yrs. She would talk to me
about him from time to time. My first
impression was he wasn't treating her
right but I never really said anything.
One day I told her I think she could do
better(I was talking about me) So one
night we made plans to hang out. Well we
gave into temptation. She did still have
her BF at the time but it sounded like he
was a dick and they were on the out's
anyway so I didnt feel to bad. 3 days
later they broke up. We started hanging
out more and more and within about a week
we were what we both considered a couple.
Her 'best friend' is a guy who happens to
be her ex's best friend. Her living
arrangements feel thru and she is now
going to move in with the 'best friend'.
Due to the fact we have only known
each-other for a short time and our pets
not getting along we feel moving in
together isn't in our best interest. When
we're together she is contently getting
txt msg from either her best friend(the
guy) or the ex who she says they only txt
each other. This really makes me feel
uncomfortable and insecure. My mind can't
get over the fact that when she's not with
me she is with her 'best friend'.
Let me state that their is a big age
difference. Me being 15yrs older. Our
relationship is kinda a secret due to our
working together. Im not sure if the ex
knows about us(its really none of his
business anyways) and she claims she has
told best friend about us and he could
careless.
A few weeks ago another employee showed me
a txt msg she sent to him. She was having
people over and invited him which I had no
problem with until I saw the msg that said
'I cant wait for you to come over'. Being
insecure I took it like I think most guys
would have taken it. "I cant wait for you
to come over wink wink'. He took it that
way too I think as he commented to me that
he thinks she likes him but he doesn't
like her and she bugs him.
I called her on what she said to him and
she denied it. I finally told her about
how I got the info and she admitted it and
said she just ment she was excited for him
to see her new place? A week later she was
supposed to come over but backed out at
the last minute. Said she had plans to
goto her grandma's. Her grandma live like
an hour away, she called me at 8 and said
she was going over there. Well at 9:15 she
called and said she just got back.(Math
doesn't lie). I called her on it and she
told me she lied. That the ex and the best
friend came over to her old place and
helped her move some of her stuff to the
new place. Again, I went off and told her
its hard to trust her when she lies to me.
She told me she was sorry and from this
point forward she would be %100 honest
with me as she loves me and can't imagine
life without me? She is always txting or
calling me telling me how much she loves
me and cares about me and can't wait to
see me. She really has nothing to gain by
telling me all this but for some reason I
think she may be being un-faithful?
Id like to add that I really really care
for her and want this to work more than
anything. I am super super close to my
family and tomorrow we will be going over
there for the first meet. I told her that
this is extremely important to me. I told
her that if she isn't serious about our
relationship that she needs to tell me now
cause meeting my family is a big deal to
me. She assured me that she wants to
advance our relationship and she's ready
to meet the family.
Am I over-reacting?
Thank you!!!!
|
Rosie H
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Jun 2007 Posts: 1160 Location: Phoenix, AZ, USA
Thanks: 18
Thanked:9
Posted: 09-04-07 12:06pm
I dont think you are over-reacting at all.
If you guys are a couple then you deserve
to be told the truth and not lied to. It
sounds like she wants to have her cake and
eat it too. Maybe she isnt completely
over her ex? It has got to be really hard
because her ex is friends with her
friends. but the constant text messages
and calls to other guys is a little
outrageous. If you are committed to a man
you do not text your ex and hang out with
your ex. Thats just not respectful.
There are some excecptions though. Like
if you all were good friends or something.
But I think you need to tell her how
uncomfortable this is making you and you
dont appreciate her talking to all these
guys if you are going to be together. If
she blows up and gets crazy then you have
somethin to worry about. But is she
thinks about it and considers your
feelings then maybe she is being true to
you.
Its a tough place to be in. Just ask
yourself what are your boundaries? What
do you want?
|
Georgia59
Moderator
Joined: 11 Apr 2007 Posts: 5557 Location: Along the Mississippi, USA
Thanks: 90
Thanked:32
Posted: 09-04-07 13:24pm
You've only been together for a month.
It sounds to me like she just wants a
casual relationship and you want a serious
one.
Maybe you should ask her exactly what she
wants out of the relationship?? Because I
bet it's different than what you want....
|
nightangel73
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Nov 2005 Posts: 2758 Location: ,
Thanks: 19
Thanked:18
Posted: 09-04-07 21:33pm
NeW I just wanted to say you that even if
you bring her to meet your family don't be
dissapointed if she ditches you in the
afterwards. I read your post and I
remembered all the many bf's I had whom I
visited their families and none of them I
married. So just take it easy okay. Your
relationship is still on early stages and
with all that about her ex's friends
sounds fishy and from experience I can
tell you that her moving to her ex being
him a male is going to cause you trouble.
I personally do not agree with coed
roomates (in my country we can't believe a
man and a woman could be living together
and no sex goes on there but again that's
just how the people in my country think..)
So just give the relationship sometime,
make sure she is not taking advantage of
you since you are younger and so on. You
seem well level headed so you will do
fine..
Good luck!
|
wazzywoman4ever
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Aug 2007 Posts: 67 Location: texas, america
She Is Not a Keeper Posted: 09-22-07 07:14am
you may want to rethink any long term
with this one ...may your choices be the
best for you ..your happiness
...........wazzywoman/robin