OK it has been 6 weeks since my best friend ran off and got married to her ex. A week after she was living with my brother. I am over the anger of what she did, now I am in the depression part. The way i look at it, she basically died. She had lied to me for so so long, I know she is not the same person I thought was my friend. that person doesn't exist anymore, and it is so so hard for me. She was my touchstone. She knew all of my secrets and I thought she shared her with me. She was there for me when i had trouble, onflict, etc. She was ther to listen and sometimes offer a kind word. She was like my sister. Now it seems like I have nobody left and it is really killing me. I am despondent, lonely and I feel like I am going to crack. My 14 month old has been super cranky and I just don't have any patience for her. I feel so terrible. I had lunch with my 5 year old the other day and I thought to myself "gosh this was so much easier before Hannah came along." Then I felt like a monster for even thinking it. I had to go into the bathroom and bawl for like 5 minutes. My cat got eaten a few weeks ago, my turtle ran away, I put my dog to sleep after christmas and my other best friend left for the Peace Corps in June. I went back on my medication, but it just doesn't seem to be doing the trick so well. I even went to my acupuncturist last week, and it really helped for about a week, not I feel almost like I am back at square 1. Panic attacks, afraid to be alone with my children, etc. I am completely wound. Thanks for listening, I just don't know who else I can share this with ritght now.