I don't think what your husband enjoys would be considered a fetish, but I completely understand how you feel. My husband has two major sexual fetishes. I'd rather not post exactly what they are since I'm not completely comfortable with sharing that information with the world.
Recently, I found a book by a therapist that has really helped me with all of this. It's a fairly new book and I was definitely skeptical at first. But I have to admit, it's really changed everything. Most importantly, I understand this much better and now have some useful coping techniques. They're not particularly easy, but we are still together and still in love and fighting way less.
I found it on my Kindle, but I think you may be able to get it elsewhere. It's called "You Would If You Loved Him".