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Life Falling Apart

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Literally this past week has made me just want to crawl under a rock and hide. I honestly can't talk to my friends about this because Im sick of hearing the same crap from them over and over again.

Starting from where it all began:

I was 17 involved with Brandon. He was the love of my life. We got engadged at my senior prom May 14 2005. I believe it was June like 20th I found out I was pregnant. I told him I wasnt ready and I aborted. He cheated on me shortly after. we had a bad falling out after that. I know it was horrible. Since then I have had like one serious relationship. Always thinking about Brandon. His family loves me to death. I see them all the time. I've met all of his GFs and of course he has always told me that they can't even compare to me. He is happy sometimes with them. I was always secretly happy about this, just bc he hurt so bad. He's always had a spot in my heart.

Well I am currently involved with Robby a soldier in the army. We got to know eachother a month before he left and took it from there. He comes home September 14 2007 and I can't be more excited. HOWEVER. Last night I visited Brandons family, just because I missed his little sisters and I make it a point to see them a few times a month. Also his mama called me to me that Brandon got his new GF preggy. So I wanted to come by and congratulate him. And while I was there a friend asked me to give her a ride. So me and him ended up driving into town to pick up somefriends. They all bailed on us. So me and him drove around for an hour. We played all of our songs, except for "our song" bc I didnt have it. So me and him were both just kind of thinkin about us. When we got back I was about to leave and he gave me a hug. Not the "we are good friends" kind the "i love you" kind. He then leaned in and kissed me. That was the first time we kissed in years. I got in my car after that and cried. Im so confused and I dont. I just needed to get it out. Granted there is more to it. I just wish I could say it all lol.

Anyway thanx for reading. I love robby, but brandon got me all confused!
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replied August 24th, 2007
Especially eHealthy
ahh im sorry your going through this Sad
well i really dont know what to say?! are you going to tell robby? does brandons gf know that he kissed you?
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replied August 24th, 2007
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the_girlfreind wrote:
ahh im sorry your going through this Sad
well i really dont know what to say?! are you going to tell robby? does brandons gf know that he kissed you?


Well she actually hates me bc his family treats me and her way different. Ive been called "the GF he should have stayed with" many times. His mom constantly compares all of his new gfs to me. I feel bad i do. We joked around like 2 months ago and I told him well maybe you should think of me when you guys....

She is like 5 1'2 wks pregnant. He called me a little after I told him to (JOKINGLY) and he did it. He thinks he got her preg thinking of me. Babies are just a very sensitive subject w me and him. I don't want to tell robby bc I didn't even know it was going to happen. I know how ppl say it takes two to kiss, but honestly I didnt kiss him. I did that whole back of the head grab and layed it on me.
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replied August 24th, 2007
Embarassed will honestly if he got this other girl pregant and she dosent know that you guys kissed its wrong. cause if it were the other way around i think you would like to know. and this guy that cheated on you,he STUPID, you dont deserve that even if you got an abortion or not. i think this girl thats pregant has a right to know. and you should be confused he an ass for cheating on you and you have a great guy now why look back.and its your choice.
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replied August 24th, 2007
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babygirl24 wrote:
Embarassed will honestly if he got this other girl pregant and she dosent know that you guys kissed its wrong. cause if it were the other way around i think you would like to know. and this guy that cheated on you,he STUPID, you dont deserve that even if you got an abortion or not. i think this girl thats pregant has a right to know. and you should be confused he an ass for cheating on you and you have a great guy now why look back.and its your choice.


Yeah I know. I really do love the guy Im with. Its just the time and distance totally blows. I love him but he hasnt gotten me to that head over heels absolutely OMG i love him stage. Its that kind of content love. he comes home soon so I hope it all straightens out by then.

As for my ex. I know it was wrong. I feel horrible about it. Shes a total witch to me all the time, and I told him he should tell her. I honestly dont want to get in the middle of that storm. She is a hellian when she is happy Id ont want to see her mad.
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replied August 24th, 2007
Especially eHealthy
You should stay with your guy and Brandon should stay with his girl, period.

So what, you kissed. Why the heck is that anyone else's business but your own? You didn't cheat on your mates.

Yeah, your ex has got you all confused, but you said you're happy with your current guy. Unless you want to leave a pregnant girl high and dry and break up with a guy while he's overseas, I think you seriously need to reconsider what you're "confused" about.
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replied August 24th, 2007
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Like I said theres more to the story that I could put up but I dont want to type 56 pages of my life. I love Robby, but IDK im so stressed now that my feelings are all haywire...plus im on my effin period so Im in hate with emotions now
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replied August 24th, 2007
Especially eHealthy
I definitely don't see any reason for you or him to tell your current partners.
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replied August 24th, 2007
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Eiri wrote:
I definitely don't see any reason for you or him to tell your current partners.


Thats what I am feeling. I dont want robby to freak. and his gf would start a nuclear war over this!
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replied August 26th, 2007
Experienced User
I'm with Eiri on this one, it was a kiss, and its caused confusion, you have a new man, he has a girl, I would maybe try put some distance between all of you..IMO..
Time to start a new life with your man, you sound like you love him, old flames are like great memories, but Keep them only in your memories.. Very Happy
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replied April 5th, 2010
Its obvious, he feels very guilty about your abortion and is painfully reminded of it at this time because his GF is pregnant. From his past actions, his reactions to such things show that he does not know how to deal, and face these circumstances. I don''t think you should read too much into this kiss. It''s guilt, or a form of an apology... Keep that kiss private, and don''t have any role in destroying his relationship, his commitment and responsibility to his child and the mother of his child. He sure as hell won''t feel better if that falls apart abandoning his GF and child. Imagine, would you want to deal with his guilt then? What will he do,cheat, drink, or have a nervous break-down? Release him, it''s as if that kiss was asking for your forgiveness and approval. Let him go by letting him go and make it clear you are happy for him.
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