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Q: Feeling Down

asked by: tinkinpink84 on August 23rd, 2007

Especially eHealthy

I dunno why i just feel really depressed, the zoloft doesnt seem to work that great it seems cuz im still dealing with anxiety. my friend asked me to babysit tonight but i told her i cant, idont even feel like dealing with the dog tonight, i just want to find her a home and get rid of her so things are a little easier, i feel overwhelmed with the dog and the kids. I feel like i cant handle it. No ones online either to talk to. I have only eaten a handful of gummy bears anda fat free vanilla pudding all day, im not even hungry.
Usually i dont feel down or anxious when i get to talk to jason, it usually the days idont hear from him but i talked to him this morning. I sorta cant wait for my appt next week so maybe she can switch meds or up them or something.
Then today i felt like a bad mom, joseph had his 2 yr checkup today, he was throwing a fit the entire time, i was a bit late so ididnt put them in the stroller but he woulda screamed in there too. So i had to try and hold him in my lap and he screamed and kicked and everyone was staring at me prob thinking im a bad mom because i cant even control my own child,b ut i dont know how to calm him down other then letting him run wild. The dr was the one i hate who said nothing about the not talking or anything , he didnt even ask ifi had questions, they dont even read the paperwork u fill out either. I just cant stand that dr. So i guess ill work withjoseph as much as he will let me and see if his talking improves while jasons gone, if he still isnt talking when jasons back i may decide to talk to the dr again well get a different one there not that indian guy, he seems to not care, he was there all of 10 min then said i can dress joseph, the guy that took vitals came in and asked if i was done and i said i duno, then he went back and talked and said the dr would be back. but came in 5 min later and said i was good to go and bring him to immunizations. so blah, i hate living here sometimes. I just want to find a medication that works so i can be happy again, i cant do this for 6 mths of feeling crappy and not wanting to do anything or eat and just lay there staring at the ceiling all day long.
I guess iwill end my vent now .... thanks for reading.

Replies(14)

rosejackson

replied on August 23rd, 2007

Supporter

im sorry things arent going well, i hope you feel back to your old self again soon x

tinkinpink84

replied on August 23rd, 2007

Especially eHealthy

thanks me too, for a while when i started the meds i was soo happy, and i loved playing with the kids all day, but then there are bad days where i just sorta let them entertain themselves and i just sit there thinking. I feel bad for doing that too though, but its like i just dont have the energy to deal with life.
But really i want and need to get rid of the dog, im hoping someone calls soon, im willing to go to 300 euros instead of 400, just to find her a home, we paid 535 euros for her. I feel like i cant handle it, and it wil take some pressure off of me once the dog is gone.

musikmaker

replied on August 23rd, 2007

Extremely eHealthy

I am sorry that you are feeling so bad. I don't think that I would be able to stand it if Dan was away as long as Jason is going to be away.

We are here for you. Vent all you want. We understand Smile

Fairy Godmother

replied on August 23rd, 2007

Supporter

Hey Sweetie, I understand depression. It took me several years and several meds before I FINALLY found something to take the edge off. I wanted something to get me out of the slump I seemed to stay in. I know I was bringing everyone around me down as well. Why is it you ahve to see this certain so called doctor? It appears to me he doesn't know one patient from another and has no people skills. As for making your son behave, that is something you will need to take charge of now before it gets so bad and out of hand. You can bet when i was little my Mother told me once, not twice to do something.........todays kids are allowed to do as they please and the world is going to hell in a hand basket. There are correct measures for discipline and ones that work. My father called them "dancing lessons" and you can bet I can DANCE.........But I behaved. My daughter was raised to respect the public and not act up. I undestand its hard for a 2 year old, but you are the adult. And I have all the respect in the world for you raising your son while you husband is away. As for him not talking, my nephew did not start talking until he was 3 years old....I think it was because he never had too. He would point nad grunt and make noises or whine.........not at my house. I'd make him tell me what he wanted or he would not get it. I do not know your circumstances, but I do know you are a very stong person and a good mother, so when someone stares, stare back at them and smile, or pick your nose, or ask them "what ??". I love this response in people. Hang in there girl and you vent all you want......we are here.........always!

sillyakchick

replied on August 23rd, 2007

Extremely eHealthy

Oh gosh, I am sorry you are down and anxious. I have a bit of an anxiety problem myself, and would be a mess if my dh were gone for more than a day! I take Ativan every once in a while for panic attacks.

tinkinpink84

replied on August 23rd, 2007

Especially eHealthy

yeah i mean its not to bad, i have more good days then bad, but alot more bad days then id like personally, i just wanna be totally happy 24/7 no anxiety or anything . I just hope that tomorows a better day.

yellow ribbon

replied on August 23rd, 2007

Especially eHealthy

Damn military doctors. u have to sit there with a list and ask your questions and refuse to leave until all your questions are answered. I dunno if yall have it in Europe but there is a website you can put your pet up for adoption for free. Ill pm it to u so it doesnt get removed. And sorry I havent been on to talk to, ive been nauseous and Steven is here for til sunday. he managed to get special liberty since thy leave next week.

young Girl

replied on August 23rd, 2007

Especially eHealthy

aww im sorry hun Sad

i hope your day gets better and that tomarrow is a much better ahppier day Very Happy

tigresacanela24

replied on August 23rd, 2007

Especially eHealthy

sillyakchick wrote:

How is the ativan? I posted asking about it a few days ago. Do you get side effects? If so are they very bad? I just got a script for ativan and I don't want to take it because it's in the same family as xanax and I had very bad reactions to xanax. It helps that I'm prescribed the ativan on an as needed basis. I'm not going to take it until I find out whether or not I'm pregnant tho.

Diane, I'm sorry that you're feeling bad right now. I know how you feel, trust me. I would def talk to your doctor and see if she can either up your dosage or give you something different. Zoloft never worked for me and I had a bad reaction to it too. Zoloft actually made me even more depressed. I'm here if you ever want to talk. As far as Joseph talking is concerned go with your gut. If you feel there's a problem then force a doctor to listen to you. But on the flip side keep in mind that some kids just don't talk until they're ready too. My nephew was one of those, he didn't really start talking until he was almost three. He just never felt it was necessary to say anything. Then when he did start talking it was like he had been talking the whole time because he just busted out with complete sentences. And ignore people who look at you funny when Joseph has a tantrum. I mean he's two years old, it's not like he's the problem child. Show me a single two year old in the world that doesn't throw a tantrum sometimes... Rolling Eyes

sick_mama17

replied on August 24th, 2007

Active User, very eHealthy

Seems we're at a similar place Diane. Im waiting for the zoloft to work aswell since the dr increased the dose a few days ago. I hope your dr will put yours up too.
Most of the time I just wanna sit here and stare at the walls all day. Like you said its like I dont have the energy for life. No motivation or enthusiasm for anything. I feel so bad about it for jay. Especially since the other week when I felt really good I hardly recognised myself for about 5 days then I went back to this...Im waiting to be like that again. I mentioned it to the dr and he said it just takes a while for them to start working properly. I felt so much better though. I wanted to play with jay and really enjoyed spending time with him and everything. Made me realise just how crappy I feel normally.
It will be a bit easier once he starts back at pre school in another week. I'll get a break everyday for a couple hours. And thankfully I have my family really close by.

I hope you find a home for the dog really soon. How are you going to find someone? Will anyone you know want her? You could put adverts up in a few shop windows. They are a huge responsibility, especially puppies, ive found it difficult at times too but jay is much older than your kids and I only have him, so im sure its a lot easier for me. You could always get another dog, maybe an adult rescue one instead of a puppy, once the kids are older. I wanted one so bad since moving out of my parents place but I waited until jay reached 4yrs old.

Are you feeling any better today?

Morgan

Becky

replied on August 24th, 2007

Especially eHealthy

i'm sorry diane. please know that you are not alone on feeling like this. i have been through some bad times too. right after neil left me i was a wreck. i just wanted to sit there and go to sleep even if i wasn't tired. i used to just lay on my bed while the kids were watching television.

even though it wasn't what a 'good mum' would do it was the only way i could cope with my grief at the time. the kids were never affected by it and now that i am 'back to normal' i reflect on that time and hope it never happens again.

i have times where i feel down still. but they are usually the odd day here and there. i try and push myself todo things. i hate getting out of the house but i find it does help the day go quicker and fresh air does you good.

i think you should change your tablets as they might not be working.`

tinkinpink84

replied on August 24th, 2007

Especially eHealthy

thanks everyone, todays somewhat better it seems so far. I got to talk to jason last night, he stayed up just for me Smile

.
And the puppy, i put an ad in ourlocal paper, but imthinking about putting a sign in the post office like next week if no one has called for her. id writ emore but i gotta change diapers and give kids breakfast

tinkinpink84

replied on August 24th, 2007

Especially eHealthy

and military drs suck, there is a nicer pediatrician but i beleive he is still on leave. so you only got so many drs u can see, and its mostly the same ones over and over again, but dr smith was alot nicer and concerned with how the kids are developing unlike this guy, but i think he is just a reg dr cuz he sees adults and kids, the other dr is an actual pediatrician. sucha small base that you cant really choose the dr you want. in fla josephs pediatrician office was really small and only saw soo many patients and they knew each personally , and the kids personality, I cant wait to move back to the states.
i just realized tomorow or sunday i have to go to the grocery store, i really dont want to but i gotta get milk and wic stuff. then sometime next week i have to go grocery shopping too. I dont think i will do it the same day as my appt because joseph will be tired of sitting still at the clinic im sure and it will be hell to go to the commisary afterwards. yesterday i was at the clinic for 2 hrs mostly waiting, wich sucked.

sillyakchick

replied on August 24th, 2007

Extremely eHealthy

tigresacanela24 wrote:

sillyakchick wrote:

The ativan works really well, esp for the panic attacks. It was prescribed for me right after I had Hannah and started going berserk and hallucinating. They tried me on Zoloft, but I wound up in the ER out of my freaking mind. It felt like a bad acid trip! So they switched me to the Ativan. I took it prn at first, but then the panic attacks started coming in one after the other after the other. So they switched me to taking it .5 mg three times a day. It makes me a little sleepy, but it helps to sleep through the night anyway. Now I just take it as needed. For a while I didn't need it at all, but suddenly with all the terrible things that heppened to my brother and my mom being here for a month and my best friend deserting me and Geneva starteing school I started having panic attacks again. So I am taking .5 mg twice a day. I feel much better. The onl;yu thing to remember about it is NOT to stop taking it right away, just taper down realy slowly.

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