I dunno why i just feel really depressed, the zoloft doesnt seem to work that great it seems cuz im still dealing with anxiety. my friend asked me to babysit tonight but i told her i cant, idont even feel like dealing with the dog tonight, i just want to find her a home and get rid of her so things are a little easier, i feel overwhelmed with the dog and the kids. I feel like i cant handle it. No ones online either to talk to. I have only eaten a handful of gummy bears anda fat free vanilla pudding all day, im not even hungry.
Usually i dont feel down or anxious when i get to talk to jason, it usually the days idont hear from him but i talked to him this morning. I sorta cant wait for my appt next week so maybe she can switch meds or up them or something.
Then today i felt like a bad mom, joseph had his 2 yr checkup today, he was throwing a fit the entire time, i was a bit late so ididnt put them in the stroller but he woulda screamed in there too. So i had to try and hold him in my lap and he screamed and kicked and everyone was staring at me prob thinking im a bad mom because i cant even control my own child,b ut i dont know how to calm him down other then letting him run wild. The dr was the one i hate who said nothing about the not talking or anything , he didnt even ask ifi had questions, they dont even read the paperwork u fill out either. I just cant stand that dr. So i guess ill work withjoseph as much as he will let me and see if his talking improves while jasons gone, if he still isnt talking when jasons back i may decide to talk to the dr again well get a different one there not that indian guy, he seems to not care, he was there all of 10 min then said i can dress joseph, the guy that took vitals came in and asked if i was done and i said i duno, then he went back and talked and said the dr would be back. but came in 5 min later and said i was good to go and bring him to immunizations. so blah, i hate living here sometimes. I just want to find a medication that works so i can be happy again, i cant do this for 6 mths of feeling crappy and not wanting to do anything or eat and just lay there staring at the ceiling all day long.
I guess iwill end my vent now .... thanks for reading.