I dunno why i just feel really depressed,
the zoloft doesnt seem to work that great
it seems cuz im still dealing with
anxiety. my friend asked me to babysit
tonight but i told her i cant, idont even
feel like dealing with the dog tonight, i
just want to find her a home and get rid
of her so things are a little easier, i
feel overwhelmed with the dog and the
kids. I feel like i cant handle it. No
ones online either to talk to. I have only
eaten a handful of gummy bears anda fat
free vanilla pudding all day, im not even
hungry.
Usually i dont feel down or anxious when i
get to talk to jason, it usually the days
idont hear from him but i talked to him
this morning. I sorta cant wait for my
appt next week so maybe she can switch
meds or up them or something.
Then today i felt like a bad mom, joseph
had his 2 yr checkup today, he was
throwing a fit the entire time, i was a
bit late so ididnt put them in the
stroller but he woulda screamed in there
too. So i had to try and hold him in my
lap and he screamed and kicked and
everyone was staring at me prob thinking
im a bad mom because i cant even control
my own child,b ut i dont know how to calm
him down other then letting him run wild.
The dr was the one i hate who said nothing
about the not talking or anything , he
didnt even ask ifi had questions, they
dont even read the paperwork u fill out
either. I just cant stand that dr. So i
guess ill work withjoseph as much as he
will let me and see if his talking
improves while jasons gone, if he still
isnt talking when jasons back i may decide
to talk to the dr again well get a
different one there not that indian guy,
he seems to not care, he was there all of
10 min then said i can dress joseph, the
guy that took vitals came in and asked if
i was done and i said i duno, then he went
back and talked and said the dr would be
back. but came in 5 min later and said i
was good to go and bring him to
immunizations. so blah, i hate living here
sometimes. I just want to find a
medication that works so i can be happy
again, i cant do this for 6 mths of
feeling crappy and not wanting to do
anything or eat and just lay there staring
at the ceiling all day long.
I guess iwill end my vent now .... thanks
for reading.
|
rosejackson
Supporter
Joined: 23 Dec 2005 Posts: 4360 Location: hertfordshire, england
Thanks: 7
Thanked:11
Posted: 08-23-07 14:53pm
im sorry things arent going well, i hope
you feel back to your old self again soon
x
thanks me too, for a while when i started
the meds i was soo happy, and i loved
playing with the kids all day, but then
there are bad days where i just sorta let
them entertain themselves and i just sit
there thinking. I feel bad for doing that
too though, but its like i just dont have
the energy to deal with life.
But really i want and need to get rid of
the dog, im hoping someone calls soon, im
willing to go to 300 euros instead of 400,
just to find her a home, we paid 535 euros
for her. I feel like i cant handle it, and
it wil take some pressure off of me once
the dog is gone.
|
musikmaker
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 30 May 2006 Posts: 1757 Location: Chicago, US
Thanks: 10
Thanked:2
Posted: 08-23-07 15:22pm
I am sorry that you are feeling so bad. I
don't think that I would be able to stand
it if Dan was away as long as Jason is
going to be away.
We are here for you. Vent all you want. We
understand
|
Fairy Godmother
Supporter
Joined: 11 Oct 2003 Posts: 1492 Location: , Georgia USA
Thanks: 81
Thanked:116
Hi Posted: 08-23-07 15:37pm
Hey Sweetie, I understand depression. It
took me several years and several meds
before I FINALLY found something to take
the edge off. I wanted something to get me
out of the slump I seemed to stay in. I
know I was bringing everyone around me
down as well. Why is it you ahve to see
this certain so called doctor? It appears
to me he doesn't know one patient from
another and has no people skills. As for
making your son behave, that is something
you will need to take charge of now before
it gets so bad and out of hand. You can
bet when i was little my Mother told me
once, not twice to do
something.........todays kids are allowed
to do as they please and the world is
going to hell in a hand basket. There are
correct measures for discipline and ones
that work. My father called them "dancing
lessons" and you can bet I can
DANCE.........But I behaved. My daughter
was raised to respect the public and not
act up. I undestand its hard for a 2 year
old, but you are the adult. And I have all
the respect in the world for you raising
your son while you husband is away. As for
him not talking, my nephew did not start
talking until he was 3 years old....I
think it was because he never had too. He
would point nad grunt and make noises or
whine.........not at my house. I'd make
him tell me what he wanted or he would not
get it. I do not know your circumstances,
but I do know you are a very stong person
and a good mother, so when someone stares,
stare back at them and smile, or pick your
nose, or ask them "what ??". I love this
response in people. Hang in there girl and
you vent all you want......we are
here.........always!
|
sillyakchick
Supporter
Joined: 12 Apr 2007 Posts: 2701
Thanks: 6
Thanked:1
Posted: 08-23-07 15:52pm
Oh gosh, I am sorry you are down and
anxious. I have a bit of an anxiety
problem myself, and would be a mess if my
dh were gone for more than a day! I take
Ativan every once in a while for panic
attacks.
yeah i mean its not to bad, i have more
good days then bad, but alot more bad days
then id like personally, i just wanna be
totally happy 24/7 no anxiety or anything
. I just hope that tomorows a better day.
|
yellow ribbon
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 07 Dec 2005 Posts: 5554 Location: FL
Posted: 08-23-07 19:24pm
Damn military doctors. u have to sit there
with a list and ask your questions and
refuse to leave until all your questions
are answered. I dunno if yall have it in
Europe but there is a website you can put
your pet up for adoption for free. Ill pm
it to u so it doesnt get removed. And
sorry I havent been on to talk to, ive
been nauseous and Steven is here for til
sunday. he managed to get special liberty
since thy leave next week.
|
young Girl
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Jun 2007 Posts: 13932 Location: everythings better in, texas USA
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
Posted: 08-23-07 19:56pm
aww im sorry hun
i hope your day gets better and that
tomarrow is a much better ahppier day
|
tigresacanela24
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Nov 2005 Posts: 5261 Location: Treat your children well, eventually they'll choose your nursing home.
Posted: 08-23-07 21:03pm
sillyakchick
wrote:
Oh gosh, I am sorry you are
down and anxious. I have a bit of an
anxiety problem myself, and would be a
mess if my dh were gone for more than a
day! I take Ativan every once in a while
for panic
attacks.
How is the ativan? I posted asking about
it a few days ago. Do you get side
effects? If so are they very bad? I just
got a script for ativan and I don't want
to take it because it's in the same family
as xanax and I had very bad reactions to
xanax. It helps that I'm prescribed the
ativan on an as needed basis. I'm not
going to take it until I find out whether
or not I'm pregnant tho.
Diane, I'm sorry that you're feeling bad
right now. I know how you feel, trust me.
I would def talk to your doctor and see
if she can either up your dosage or give
you something different. Zoloft never
worked for me and I had a bad reaction to
it too. Zoloft actually made me even more
depressed. I'm here if you ever want to
talk. As far as Joseph talking is
concerned go with your gut. If you feel
there's a problem then force a doctor to
listen to you. But on the flip side keep
in mind that some kids just don't talk
until they're ready too. My nephew was
one of those, he didn't really start
talking until he was almost three. He
just never felt it was necessary to say
anything. Then when he did start talking
it was like he had been talking the whole
time because he just busted out with
complete sentences. And ignore people who
look at you funny when Joseph has a
tantrum. I mean he's two years old, it's
not like he's the problem child. Show me
a single two year old in the world that
doesn't throw a tantrum sometimes...
|
sick_mama17
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Jun 2007 Posts: 960 Location: , England
Posted: 08-24-07 01:53am
Seems we're at a similar place Diane. Im
waiting for the zoloft to work aswell
since the dr increased the dose a few days
ago. I hope your dr will put yours up
too.
Most of the time I just wanna sit here and
stare at the walls all day. Like you said
its like I dont have the energy for life.
No motivation or enthusiasm for anything.
I feel so bad about it for jay. Especially
since the other week when I felt really
good I hardly recognised myself for about
5 days then I went back to this...Im
waiting to be like that again. I mentioned
it to the dr and he said it just takes a
while for them to start working properly.
I felt so much better though. I wanted to
play with jay and really enjoyed spending
time with him and everything. Made me
realise just how crappy I feel normally.
It will be a bit easier once he starts
back at pre school in another week. I'll
get a break everyday for a couple hours.
And thankfully I have my family really
close by.
I hope you find a home for the dog really
soon. How are you going to find someone?
Will anyone you know want her? You could
put adverts up in a few shop windows. They
are a huge responsibility, especially
puppies, ive found it difficult at times
too but jay is much older than your kids
and I only have him, so im sure its a lot
easier for me. You could always get
another dog, maybe an adult rescue one
instead of a puppy, once the kids are
older. I wanted one so bad since moving
out of my parents place but I waited until
jay reached 4yrs old.
Are you feeling any better today?
Morgan
|
Becky
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Jan 2006 Posts: 6225 Location: London, England
Thanks: 0
Thanked:7
Posted: 08-24-07 02:19am
i'm sorry diane. please know that you are
not alone on feeling like this. i have
been through some bad times too. right
after neil left me i was a wreck. i just
wanted to sit there and go to sleep even
if i wasn't tired. i used to just lay on
my bed while the kids were watching
television.
even though it wasn't what a 'good mum'
would do it was the only way i could cope
with my grief at the time. the kids were
never affected by it and now that i am
'back to normal' i reflect on that time
and hope it never happens again.
i have times where i feel down still. but
they are usually the odd day here and
there. i try and push myself todo things.
i hate getting out of the house but i find
it does help the day go quicker and fresh
air does you good.
i think you should change your tablets as
they might not be working.`
thanks everyone, todays somewhat better it
seems so far. I got to talk to jason last
night, he stayed up just for me .
And the puppy, i put an ad in ourlocal
paper, but imthinking about putting a sign
in the post office like next week if no
one has called for her. id writ emore but
i gotta change diapers and give kids
breakfast
and military drs suck, there is a nicer
pediatrician but i beleive he is still on
leave. so you only got so many drs u can
see, and its mostly the same ones over and
over again, but dr smith was alot nicer
and concerned with how the kids are
developing unlike this guy, but i think he
is just a reg dr cuz he sees adults and
kids, the other dr is an actual
pediatrician. sucha small base that you
cant really choose the dr you want. in fla
josephs pediatrician office was really
small and only saw soo many patients and
they knew each personally , and the kids
personality, I cant wait to move back to
the states.
i just realized tomorow or sunday i have
to go to the grocery store, i really dont
want to but i gotta get milk and wic
stuff. then sometime next week i have to
go grocery shopping too. I dont think i
will do it the same day as my appt because
joseph will be tired of sitting still at
the clinic im sure and it will be hell to
go to the commisary afterwards. yesterday
i was at the clinic for 2 hrs mostly
waiting, wich sucked.
|
sillyakchick
Supporter
Joined: 12 Apr 2007 Posts: 2701
Thanks: 6
Thanked:1
Posted: 08-24-07 09:10am
tigresacanela24
wrote:
sillyakchick
wrote:
Oh gosh, I am sorry you are
down and anxious. I have a bit of an
anxiety problem myself, and would be a
mess if my dh were gone for more than a
day! I take Ativan every once in a while
for panic
attacks.
How is the ativan? I posted asking about
it a few days ago. Do you get side
effects? If so are they very bad? I just
got a script for ativan and I don't want
to take it because it's in the same family
as xanax and I had very bad reactions to
xanax. It helps that I'm prescribed the
ativan on an as needed basis. I'm not
going to take it until I find out whether
or not I'm pregnant tho.
The ativan works really well, esp for the
panic attacks. It was prescribed for me
right after I had Hannah and started going
berserk and hallucinating. They tried me
on Zoloft, but I wound up in the ER out of
my freaking mind. It felt like a bad acid
trip! So they switched me to the Ativan.
I took it prn at first, but then the panic
attacks started coming in one after the
other after the other. So they switched
me to taking it .5 mg three times a day.
It makes me a little sleepy, but it helps
to sleep through the night anyway. Now I
just take it as needed. For a while I
didn't need it at all, but suddenly with
all the terrible things that heppened to
my brother and my mom being here for a
month and my best friend deserting me and
Geneva starteing school I started having
panic attacks again. So I am taking .5 mg
twice a day. I feel much better. The
onl;yu thing to remember about it is NOT
to stop taking it right away, just taper
down realy slowly.
