my girlfriend has an eating disorder too.
I really just want to know how I can help
her. She says for me to be strong for her
and for me to just be there for her but
I'm not really sure what that means or how
to do that. She's also sworn me to secrecy
about it and she says that there is
nothing i can do but be there for her and
that she has to fix it on her own, and i
sort of understand that but it's difficult
to just idly sit back and watch the girl i
loev wreck her body. Any suggestions?
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bibisim
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 08 Aug 2007 Posts: 76
Re: Hey Ben, Posted: 08-22-07 07:25am
helpmehelpher07
wrote:
my girlfriend has an eating
disorder too. I really just want to know
how I can help her. She says for me to be
strong for her and for me to just be there
for her but I'm not really sure what that
means or how to do that. She's also sworn
me to secrecy about it and she says that
there is nothing i can do but be there for
her and that she has to fix it on her own,
and i sort of understand that but it's
difficult to just idly sit back and watch
the girl i loev wreck her body. Any
suggestions?
Hey,
Once I tryed to ask for a support my
friend. we shared a big sympathy, not
really dating but something between
friendship and love. So I tryed to tell
him that i was in a trouble (i was feeling
that ED would get back to me), but he did
not even want to learn what my problem
was....now i am fine and he missed a lot
you are doing a great thing!!!
What if you told her, that there are so
many people out there in the world
suffering with ED, and this is true! and
that there is a forum where anyone,
staying anonimous, can share experience,
pain and hope.
There are many varieties of ED so without
knowing what is she going through it is
difficult to advice anything.
I tell you from own experience: I started
a consistent recovery by myself but now
this forum is a great support to me. Thus,
it can become a good recovery starter for
your loved one. If someone would have told
me that there is a place where I can
freely shere and get advice i would have
recovered a long time ago.
she will be fine!!!
best
|
XoXNoRmA
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Jul 2007 Posts: 9 Location: ,
Posted: 10-02-07 21:12pm
Honestly theres nothing you can do but
support her and
i now it's hard to see her do this to
herself but it's her chose to get
better...you have to sit and wait and you
should try to tell her parents or some one
'cause they might be able to get her help
i hope she'll turn out ok good luck!
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blueyesmile
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Mar 2008 Posts: 7 Location: Lee's Summit, Mo USA
Posted: 03-13-08 20:05pm
from experience, i can tell you that the
only thing really is to be there for her.
keep telling her how much you love her for
her. you can never say that enough. and if
she tells you to shut up or is in one of
those moods where she pushes you away,
just hold her. cuz thats what she really
wants and needs. but be sensitive. its
kinda a dangerous road for a bf. but in my
opinion, they're the ones that really make
the difference.
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lg31
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 Mar 2008 Posts: 7
I just broke up with my Bulimic Girlfriend Posted: 03-13-08 20:55pm
Look, I suggest if you love her get her to
promise she will get help. Try and get
her to be honest with you. I was told by
a phone counselor, to try and get her to
talk about it with you. The hardest thing
about ED is people who do not have it do
not understand why they can't just stop.
She can not just stop if she is doing is
real bad. It just doesn't work that way.
It will creep back into her daily life if
she just stops. For her it is all about
control, so no matter what do not take
that control away from her. Let her
choose to get better. Like I said before
a big step is honesty because most of the
time people with ED will say I won't do it
anymore after this date, or I just want to
lose a few more pounds, I can stop anytime
I want. Maybe have her create a log of
when she does it, how she feels both
before and after. WHat she ate, how much
she ate, etc... I just realized you
didn't say she has bullimia but some of my
advice still applies. As for the logs if
she is anorexic you can have her log how
long she starves herself. What triggers a
fast. What does she do to control her
hunger. and more. I would call a
counselor yourself. The lady I talked to
on the phone was very helpful in how I
should react, what to expect. Some of the
people on another message board literally
predicted things that were going to
happen. When you start seeing that happen
you know it is out of control. The thing
that ultimately broke me and her up was
the sneaking around. It almost felt like
she was cheating on me. Any time there is
a secret that is that big in a
relationship it can tear you apart. You
will feel it, and you will feel a loss of
connection with her if it gets to a point
where you think she is doing better but
secretly she is not. Just don't get mad,
talk to her about it and hope she is
honest and lets you in.
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lg31
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 Mar 2008 Posts: 7
1 more thing Posted: 03-13-08 20:59pm
She must get some kind of professional
help. This is not a physical condition at
all. She may try to convince you that it
is because she gained some weight or just
wants to lose 10lbs. Everyone knows ED
makes you ugly, even the people who do it
and use the excuse I want to be beautiful.
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