Joined: 13 Jan 2004 Posts: 1436 Location: Grand Blanc, Michigan
Maybe Im Pathetic. Posted: 03-18-04 13:32pm
Hi everyone. . I think I might be
drowning myself in sappy memories.. I
went and saw my boyfriend tonite , were
fine and all. .But once again on my way
home, the whole way all I did was think
about ryan (the dad). He is such a jerk
to me .. And hes done nothing but hurt me
(i can finally admit as of today, he hurt
me . .Alot. . I never would admit it.
.I always shrug it off and tell people I
dont care and how I hate him and it doesnt
bother me that hes not around and is a
di*k to me) but thats not at all true. He
hurt me even b4 he found out I was
pregnant. I remember we would sleep
together. .Then all the sudden he tells
me (again) that he wasnt ready for a
relationship and he was 'too busy' with
hockey..Yet he could sleep with me?.
Anyhow, maybe its a step but at least I
can admit iwas hurt. Anyhow, then he
finds out im pregnant, denies it for a
long time, calls me terrible names,
ignores me, he never calls to see how my
pregnancy is going or anything...But I
keep thinking about him! And in a weird
way its like I miss him! Even tho I
should hate him! I mean, I am so angry at
him...But I cant help it and I feel so
weird.. And bad. . I mean I shouldnt be
thinking about him! I always catch myself
wishing he would change and then we would
be together and raise this baby together.
.Even tho I have a really nice boyfriend
who is really supportive and I know ryan
is the worst thing for me. What do u
think? Thx alot everyone*
btw I am 22 weeks tomorrow* im feelin him
movin like crazy lately*
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JillMarie
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 24 Dec 2003 Posts: 3022 Location: Iowa
Posted: 03-18-04 13:48pm
Let me tell you a little story about
me...When I got pregnant with the twins
the father, oscar, denied them he said he
wouldnt have anything to do with them ect.
We were not together the whole pregnancy
but he would call and visit sometimes. I
have known my current boyfriend, jesse for
years and at the time he was in prison but
I remained in close contact with him. He
told me that he would be with me and help
me raise my kids when he got out but what
do you know, when I have the babies oscar
decides he wants to be a family with me,
so I broke it off with jesse and got back
together with oscar. He treated me like
caca! He beated me up, said terrible
things to me stabbed me and even burned me
and when I left him I felt like the
biggest fool for breaking up with someone
who would never hurt me like that. I got
lucky and me and jesse did work things out
but im sure everyone is not that
forgiving. I still think about oscar and
there hav been times that I even missed
him, even though he is a jerk but I know
who loves me so im not going no where!
im not sure what this means to you but
just keep it in mind and know that your
not the only one that thinks about their
exs even when they are jerks!
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Jaydensmommy
Advanced Support Team
Joined: 28 Jan 2004 Posts: 1770 Location: , USA
Thanks: 4
Thanked:1
Posted: 03-18-04 13:52pm
Your always going to have feeings for him
and love him. He is the father of your
child. Whether he is mean to you or not,
you two have a bond that will never be
broken..And that through your child.
Don't feel guilty...Its natural.
Sara
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KariM18
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Jan 2004 Posts: 1436 Location: Grand Blanc, Michigan
Posted: 03-18-04 21:47pm
Thanks hun. I guess it is a reason. But
ugh I dont wanna feel how I feel!!!!!
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insurancegirl
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 25 Sep 2003 Posts: 5286
Posted: 03-18-04 23:40pm
I'm sorry, I dont' know what to tell ya,
but maybe go with your gut.
