honey the first pap is usually the most uncomfy one

they get better after then. im sorry you feel this way because OBGYN are very important for a woman to see throughout her life

That sounds like something you should seek professional help for. Try looking in the phone book for therapists near you.

sounds like you had an anxiety attack

she a therapist as previously mentioned

Definitely see a therapist, you don't want this to haunt you the rest of your life. Anxiety is one of the easiest things to fix in therapy.

To get used to vaginal penetration you must start with something really small, like your little finger, and do it daily until you get used to it. Then gradually work up to larger objects.
Sounds like you need to take a valium before your next pap smear. Talk to a therapist and they will prescribe it for you.

Oh my gosh, you sound like you could be my twin. I flat out refuse to see a gyno, much less go through with having sex with anybody, because of how much this scares me. Did you ever end up finding a way to overcome your fear? If not, maybe we could both chat it out - even if we can't get over it, at least we wouldn't have to feel so alone in this. Everybody thinks that I'm crazy for being this fearful of it. I'm 24 and pretty darn close to labeling myself as "asexual" because I so desperately never want to have anything so much as near me down there.

How were you taught about puberty and sexuality? Did your mom or anyone sit down and talk with you about it before you got your period for the first time or was it a "surprise"? Did anyone tell you how sex happens? How did they talk about it? Did they make it sound scary or painful? Sometimes just learning about sexuality the wrong way can influence how a person feels about it. Telling them that it's going to be painful or making it sound like it's unpleasant could make that person anticipate pain. A lot of times, when a woman anticipates pain down there, her muscles will seize up painfully. It's called Vaginismus and it's treatable. It's like if someone tells you that getting a shot is going to be painful. If you tense up, it's 10 times worse.

I know you are scared and are just coming from a bad experience at the gynecologist's office, but is this something you want to fix? Do you want to be able to share intimacy with someone without having this fear? If so, there are ways to go about it. First, you need to be comfortable with yourself, inside, outside, and especially "down there." Talking to a therapist, whether it is a sex therapist or not, would probably be the most effective thing, if it's the right therapist. If you aren't ready for that, doing some reading about sexuality to get some correct information might help calm some fears and get you used to the idea of being sexual, even if you don't actually contemplate the actual act just yet. I know this sounds silly, but maybe even reading some low-key romance novels would help you think of sex as more of an intimate, emotional connection and less of a physical act. Just a thought.

If you aren't ready to start to fix this now, that's okay. You can wait until you are ready, but don't lose hope or build this up so much in your mind that you'll never want to try to fix it. There are a lot of people who are asexual, but that really refers more to people who have no interest in sex, which is fine. But I don't think that you think this is fine, otherwise you wouldn't care enough to post here. The fact that you do care and that you do feel alone in this makes me think that a part of you wants to fix it.

I believe that when a woman is in lust and want for a man, that this problem would not exist...If you are with a man that stirs you to your toes, you will want to give to him everything about yourself and then look for more...This alone is the reason for so many affairs and babies being born without adequate planning....I have no idea if a person is asexual or not...They alone will only be able to find this out when they meet someone who stirs them so deeply that all the things that are mentioned in these posts have no meaning....It is then that they will know if the freight is really there or that they just haven't met the love of their life....

These are just my thoughts....As you can see I have met mine....

Caroline

Hi everyone,

I have a question, how often must women visit a gynecologist? Is it really necessary to do a pap smear? and how often should it be? Is it a choice? or a must?