Depression Forum

Mickey28 wrote:

Hello. I hate my life. I know I'm ugly and I've always been it. Although I'm only 15, I've started noticing things. I'm extremely overweight. I'm 172 cm(still growing) and I weigh 86kgs. I've got stretch marks on my arms, legs and the sides of my stomach:(. I'm too afraid to have a girlfriend and probably won't ever get one because of the way I look. I've been going through hell lately. My mum told me last week she had an abortion. My uncle had died a few years back and it's his second year anniversary in a couple of days. Went to a party and every single person their had ignored me. Some started making fun of me. I'm always there for my friends but they're never there for me. I recently haven't been bothered studying or doing homework and I know that my grades are going to flunk. My Italian teacher told me today I recieved the lowest mark in a test, I thought I was pretty good at Italian. I've recieved a high A all year for it. I'm always getting sick. I've lost my voice. My parents never pay any attention to me. I've always been overshadowed by my cousins. They're all very handsome and beautiful and I feel extremely lonely. I hate the way I am. I can't stick to one thing that I'm doing. For example in the begining of theyear I lost 9 kilo's. (I was 89.5 kilos) and now I've gained 6 of them back on. I've conteplated suicide and decided there were better options. Than giving my family another debt to pay right after my uncle. I think I'm going through depression I have no clue. I'm intimidated by people in class and it frightens me, the prospect of going through year 9 like this is.. I'm not too sure. Great and anythingelseto stuff up my day. My charger for my laptop just broke. Excellent. Excellent Great.

Mickey, I totally understand what you are going thru. Although being 15 may be fun for some people, for some of us it was the worst time of our life. High school was horrible for me. Like you I had untreated depression and physical issues. I was always lonely, and my family was falling apart. The first thing you should do is talk to your family doctor. They can help you lose weight and with the depression. Those people who make fun of you are LOSERS, they are going to be messed up adults, trust me, I am a lot older than you and thats what happens. People like you end up being the coolest most interesting people when they are grown. If you're friends aren't there for you, don't be so there for them. There isnt anything wrong with taking some time to yourself. I would rather be a loner than give them something to make fun of.
You sound like a really smart and Funny person with a sense of humor. So I have no doubt you will have a girlfriend, maybe not in high school but you will. Focus on your health first and I know it's tough but try not to let those idiots hurt you. The world is so much bigger than high school.