I've been abused more times than I could
count on my fingers and toes and I still
see my abuser occasionally. I'm extremely
quiet and shy but I'm more talkative
around people I know and some have even
called me "mute". For example, I'll be
talking to my friends and then when an
attractive girl comes near us and hangs
with our group, I go absolutely silent (I
won't say a word). I find it hard asking a
girl out. I had a brief schizophrenic
episode and I have obsessive compulsive
disorder and wouldn't be surprised to see
others that haven't been diagnosed yet. I
have very low self-esteem/confidence-you
name it. There was a situation that I
still remember in middle school where a
female teacher called me ugly. I don't
think I'm ugly but it has made me doubt
myself till this day when women approach
me. I like women but I push them away
emotionally/show no affection (even the
ones that I like) or even second guess
myself whether they like me or not. I have
ZERO experience with them and I'm now 26
years old. I'm the absolute worst when it
comes to verbal signals and I can't read
people's faces. I feel very uncomfortable
and sometimes hate when people touch me
and I rarely touch others.
Depressed and stressed out so I went to
the strip club just recently(my first
time). I couldn't even get aroused by just
seeing the naked women there. I wanted to
touch myself but couldn't with all the
people around me. Am I starting to see the
signs of ED because of masturbating a lot?
When I go to the bathroom in a public
place, I always have to take the private
stall because I'm very cautious of others
looking at me.
Also, while I was at the strip club (first
time there), I got a private lapdance. I
peed(I think) in the middle of it. Why did
this happen? The stripper even said "Don't
be so nervous" Also, while at the club
looking at the naked women, I didn't even
get an erection. I know I have trust
issues but this wouldn't affect whether or
not I get an erection at the club right?
|
Tylanas
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Jul 2005 Posts: 12985
Thanks: 3
Thanked:0
Posted: 08-19-07 20:07pm
If you can masturbate by yourself and get
hard, then you don't have ED, not in the
normal sense anyway.
|
k333
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 15 Aug 2007 Posts: 3
Posted: 08-20-07 00:13am
People don't usually become sex crazed
horndogs seeing naked woman, unless you're
a teenager. Also, I think sometimes if the
dancer is too heavy for you and sitting in
your lap, there may be some difficulties
(i.e. more pain than pleasure). That's
from my personal experience, so always
choose smaller ladies.
|
Sandbox
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 19 Aug 2007 Posts: 3
Posted: 08-20-07 00:29am
How can you explain the "I got a private
lapdance. I peed (I think) in the middle
of it. " Does that seem odd to anyone?
|
Devar
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 20 Aug 2007 Posts: 24 Location: UK, Birmingham
Posted: 08-20-07 05:53am
Are you sure it was pee and not like
pre-cum ?
As for your other issues it sounds like
realy bad anxiety there are groups for
this me and a friend run a group for
people from birmingham(uk) you should join
one of these groups meeting others and
talking about your issues can realy help
with confidence and self esteem
|
Sandbox
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 19 Aug 2007 Posts: 3
Posted: 08-20-07 12:04pm
Devar
wrote:
Are you sure it was pee and
not like pre-ejaculate ?
It might have been pre-ejaculate. I'm not
really sure now. I get really
uncomfortable when people touch me though
because of the physical/sexual abuse.
Is it normal to be afraid of sex when you
were molested/abused when you were
younger? I'm already 26 yrs old but the
past still haunts me.
I'm not from the UK but maybe a group from
where I live might help.
|
young Girl
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Jun 2007 Posts: 13932 Location: everythings better in, texas USA
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
Posted: 08-20-07 12:18pm
Sandbox
wrote:
Devar
wrote:
Are you sure it was pee and
not like pre-ejaculate ?
It might have been pre-ejaculate. I'm not
really sure now. I get really
uncomfortable when people touch me though
because of the physical/sexual abuse.
Is it normal to be afraid of sex when you
were molested/abused when you were
younger? I'm already 26 yrs old but the
past still haunts me.
I'm not from the UK but maybe a group from
where I live might
help.
of course its normal to be afraid
you wnet through a traumatic expierience
and you may be afraid of it for a very
long time
|
Devar
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 20 Aug 2007 Posts: 24 Location: UK, Birmingham
Posted: 08-20-07 12:39pm
Sandbox
wrote:
Devar
wrote:
Are you sure it was pee and
not like pre-ejaculate ?
It might have been pre-ejaculate. I'm not
really sure now. I get really
uncomfortable when people touch me though
because of the physical/sexual abuse.
Is it normal to be afraid of sex when you
were molested/abused when you were
younger? I'm already 26 yrs old but the
past still haunts me.
I'm not from the UK but maybe a group from
where I live might
help.
Yea i was thinking of a local group
As for how you feel of cause its normal to
feel how you feel, just keep this in
mind... Things that happen to us in the
past make us stronger
|
Georgia59
Moderator
Joined: 11 Apr 2007 Posts: 5557 Location: Along the Mississippi, USA
Thanks: 90
Thanked:32
Posted: 08-20-07 13:41pm
A therapist or sexual abuse support group
would be really helpful to you.... best of
luck....
