You are only 18. Think this over. By the time your kids
get to be 21, you will likely be 40. Not old, but that is a
long time regardless. Nothing wrong with being black.
Nothing "wrong" with being whatever you are, but we
live in a real world. You think being a mixed couple is
tough. Think about how it would be being a mixed person.

I know, it should not be that way, but there you have it.
The way things are and the way things should be.
Your parents will always be your parents. This will also
be true with any children you have with this man.

I am just attempting to get you to think about this. I can hear
the flames coming my way already. I am not a racist, but i
am a realist.

That has to be the most ludacris outlook around now. Fifty years ago when ignoramous people ran the world, I would have bought into the fairness of that logic but in todays society and the society of tomorrow, there is far less retribution to haveing a child of differring ethnicity than in the past.

Remember, there is no perfect "race" because it is all human and complection is not the person, the person in the complection is who they choose to be!

Marry him/her or whatever the problem is, if it is soley based on skin color, wait until you have children and watch the idiots come running to be part of their life and you have to bury the race card because they are your family.

What a joke! Very sad day when this is still a problem

God i'm happy I live in montreal. I can't believe these topics even need a reply. I don't know if I have any "pure" friends. Everyone is mixed with something. Ugh, I hate these topics.

I resent your "putting words in my mouth" . You are deliberately misquoting me in order to legitimate your position. A fairly cheap tactic
and it will not work.

First, there is something wrong with an 18 year old child even thinking about getting married without finishing her education. Second, you can
pretend to be "shocked" and call me names, but we live in a real world
with different cultures. Different cultures have different value systems.
These seem like small things when you are in the heat of passion, or what ever heat you are in, but after 5, 10, or 20 years, they can become issues. I am not saying that one race is, as you tried to me it appear, "pure" or anything of the kind. That was just a cheap lie on your part.

Go somewhere and be outraged, offended, or what the hell you teenagers do, but marriage, children, and family, deserve to be considered over an extended period of time. If your parents will not accept him or if his parents will not accept you, it will be a tough go. It is especially true if you are only 18 and have a min. Education. If his buddies start kidding him about you, ( and they will), or if your child is excluded by some insensitive person at school, ( and they will), you must decide if your passion is worth all the pain. I don't like it but I will not kid you about it either. I have friends who are in interacial relationships. It is tough and they struggle. Some haven't made it because of it.

Don't bash me. You can disagree with me, but I was trying to help. All you wanted to do was look good and get some kind of "feel good" rush.

Ps I am glad you live in canada too. Don't think too many of the canadians are too pleased about it though.

excuse me?????? What are you smoking???? I wasn't being rude towards you in the least. I didn't even read your original post. And I sure wasn't lying. I made a statement and opinion. You're the one being rude. All I meant about living in montreal, was we don't seem to have these probs as much up here. My best friend is bi-racial, my god-daughter is bi-racial. And most of my friends kids are bi-racial. By the way, i'm not a teenager. I'm a grown woman and mother. I'm also a mod on these forums.

I was typing a response to this post blaze and just quit because it is not even worth trying to show someone that human is human.

Like I said, when the parents of the "mixed-couple" become aware that they are going to be grand parents, they will go running to be a part of those little childrens lives and the "mixed-couple" may decide they dont want filth like that in their childrens lives.

sheesh brian, lets go back to the preggo forum--lol at least they have reasons to be b*tchy there--lol

Whatever!

I was married at 19 I had my education and a really good paying job, we have our own home, own a vehicule as well expecting our second child in 19 days. We both have our own opinions and beliefs but when you get married it is for better or worse, so honestly if ppl need to sit here and tell you are wrong for having this relationship tell them to hit the road.

Quote
"if his buddies start kidding him about you, ( and they will), or if your child is excluded by some insensitive person at school, ( and they will), you must decide if your passion is"

my husbands friends and I get along so well we talk on a occasional basis and they check up on me and teach me their culture and I teach them mine, its just sad that some ppl are so close minded. It doesnt matter what race you are there will always be some insensitive person at school to call you names etc, why because some ppl are just mean its not just towards kids that are biracial umm sorry.


The thing is we are all the same and if you are catholic we are all god sons and daughter so what does that say, im sick of ppl being close minded!!

If you believe this man is someone you will be with for awhile take a chance, what if hes the man your going to marry you never know dont let anyone trell you how to live anything is possible. I have pushed boudries over and over again yeah I do get down sometimes but I go right back up and live thats is what makes you a "real person"


if you want to chat send me a pm
jess

Yeah what needed to be said has been said.

Go with your heart not your eyes!

muah!!!! And elisa is grogeous!!!!

Thanks lil

I cant wait to see what this one looks like

take care
jess

soon soon, you gonna call one of us when u go in?? :-)

ummm tyra banks is not bi-racial. Both of her parents are black.

Those of you who are placing your focus on the color of ones skin are missing so much of the issue. The real issue is a cultural issue and the color of the skin is only one symptom of the real issue. Explain to me why it is ok for a family of middle eastern decent to expect their daughter to marry the same race, and the daughter usually respects that, yet if I white family expects the same, then they are considered racist or intolerant. There are double standards in this world and people feel the need to protect women of their race. Guys get off easier and their parents are usually much more tolerant. This is life - don’t expect this to change anytime soon.

Did you read your post before you pressed the submit button?

It is not the standard for a family in america, regardless of heritage, to be pre-arranged. If the tradition in india and many other countries is to pre-arrange the marriage of thier children, than so be it. The point is that it should not be happening in the .U.S noone that I am aware of feels that pre-arranged marriage is ok.

Th united states is not looked at as a 3rd world country and we are also a very liberal society, giving the citizens the choice to marry whom they want as long as the wedding is that of a man and a woman. The man/woman issue is a hot-button topic and I will not state my opinion about that becuase as of right now it is unlawful for the wedding to be done and so it holds no legal bais in my world.

If an american cannot see the issue that white/black/native american indian/asian/itialian/irish and so on and so forth, are first and foremost, human beings that can and do fall in love with each other, then we have some serious issues in our society.

Children of mixed color do not face any more or any less of the common pressures of being a part of society. If you feel the need to be "against" two grown up, educated or not, adults making the choice to be married, not based on their skin tone, then maybe you need to look at yourself and figure out your heritage and if you find that even one person in your families history married outside their ethnicity or if you have more than one ethnic part in your make up, then either you need to off yourself becuase you are mixed/malodo (milado)(i don't know the correct spelling) or quit feeling like you do because you are a hypocrite otherwise.

O.K., I am from the old school,where a lot of people thought that mixed marriages were not right mixed children most felt that one side did not accept them, just like the other side and salt and pepper is fine on my food but not in my life but myself, I was always open, after all it is not what is on the outside it is what is within and it is all pink in the middle.

I’m not talking about arranged marriages. I am talking about real world american immigrants that wish to maintain their culture. Maybe you have not had similar experiences, but where I live, most of the races would like to see their children marry the same race. Will they disown those who differ? Some will, and some won’t, but the point is that there is a preference. To deny this is futile – you just need to keep your eyes open to see the truth. I have dated different races, but again, the real issues surround “what the woman is doing”. The guy gets off the hook – to refute this goes against human nature. Think about it before re-posting

I have lived all over the east coast, florida, ny , virgina, nc, pa, and mass.

There is not refuting necessary, you are talking about a sub-culture of immagrants from the before mentioned nations.

This has absolutley nothing to do with the issue at hand which has been purly black and white.

Deep seeded religous beliefes and such are not likly to change until the next generation of those immagrants are no longer children and have been raised in the ameican society.

We are not going to find a place to agree, I have been on both sides of the fence and I like the side I am on now, I have grown up and dropped the biggoted attitude I had as a child. I feel it makes me a better person and my opinion is much less judgemental and more feeling based.

I think that if it is working for you then go for it ... Good men are hard to find and the age gap dont mean a thing...And living an hour apart is nothing...My boyfriend is 10 years older than me and we spent 4 months 8,000 miles apart! Dont worry about your parents they will eventually see how happy he makes you and come round to the idea...Just stick to your decission

Im of indian decent or "asian american" or to you ppl in ny,fl,il and cali "south asian". All my life, my parents have said that dating and marrying out of race never happens. But it does, very small percentage of ppl do. Like I have dated ppl from pretty much every race, my own, arabs, white, orinetal asian, blacks and hispanics. In the end I always end up dating either a person of my own race or a white girl. See the problem I have is this. My parents never would accept my girlfriend because 1. She isnt our race and 2. Because she is white and they build things on a stereotype. I was born in cananda, and moved to the states when I was little. My feelings towards ppl our of my race are greater than my own. Most of my life especially in high school I felt more attracted to white girls and black girls. My parents build on their negative stereotypes: of both races. Like who white ppl are bad because oh they always divorce and such,etc and blacks are bad because of these negative stereotypes on tv they watch. All my girlfriends who werent my race have wanted to meet my parents. Yet when I do bring them home my parents look at her and automatically judge her based on the stereotypes. My parents have even told me that they thought my brother would marry a person out of race. But he didnt, because of my parents. I can sense in him that he isnt "truly happy". Because well growing up in western society we have no problems with interracial couples and biracial kids (my brother and I have grown up with many). I feel that I cant bring my girlfriend home, because well they will again try to fit her into a tstereotype and will try to convince me to break up with her. (no they have never been succuessful in doing so). But I feel that I know I will marrry this girl, and well my grandparents and aunts and uncles with accept it, because they just want me to be happy. Yet you would think my parents would want to. They have even given me excuse like oh if you marry a white girl, you will loose ur culture and "convernt". But in high school and during most of my undergrad I have met ppl who are actually mixed of my race with white, black and hispanic and they have accepted both cultures and religions. And well I feel at times I comtimplate with myself ofwhether or not I should just given in like my brother did and be somewhat unhappy (like he gets along with his wife and all, but at times I can see it he feels ashamed of himself). So what am basically asking is it wrong to love a person who in ur culture would be shunned, if the other's parents dont except him/her?