Since it's going to be dead, I guess it doesn't matter.

"I don't think you're being true to yourself.

If I saw a man on the street kicking a dog I could not drive on by without saying something; I would not feel good about myself. You spoke so passionately about this subject I don't see how you can turn aside and let the woman drink the alcohol and feel good about yourself. Maybe it is your place in life to speak up about this.

There is a time and place for "preaching" and when you see something like this happening, it might be the time and place. Just imagine if everywhere, everyone felt it wasn't their place to "lecture" this pregnant lady, and she drank all the time. What if just one person sincerely sitting down and talking to her about it could make a world of difference. It's possible. "

I like this response it encapsulates exactly how i feel about abortion

I don't think you're being true to yourself.

If I saw a pregnant woman on the way into an abortion facility I could not drive on by without saying something; I would not feel good about myself. I don't see how anyone can turn aside and let the woman have an abortion and feel good about themseves. Maybe it is our place in life to speak up about these things.

There is a time and place for "preaching" and when you see something like this happening, it might be the time and place. Just imagine if everywhere, everyone felt it wasn't their place to "lecture" this pregnant lady, and she had an abortion. What if just one person sincerely sat her down and talked to her about it, it could make a world of difference. It's possible.

There are so many interlinked issues with this and abortion and I have been whole heartedly please by the vast majority of the responses. It seems we all take a somewhat exception to the abuse of the fetus in this case and of course for good reason, but it seems to me the only difference between a fetus suffering at the hands of a woman drinking and a woman going for abortion is the wantedness of the fetus and the actuallity of death in regards to abortion rather than the possibility of death/disability regarding drinking

Its not life that is important but wantedness?
Death is not bad but a life of being disabled is?

I appreciate your passion for your cause, [even though I disdain your dismissal of the opinions of the woman and I believe your blanket statements regarding same are negligent. (For those of you just tuning in, I get that from "Guest's" comments on the abortion debate forum.)]

However, your cause is grounded in some very generalized opinions which are not fundamentally true.

It is always wrong to kick a dog, but your sentiment that "no woman wants an abortion" is not always true.

Therefore, I would implore you to enlighten yourself and get factually straight about your cause before you take it upon others.

I can do it because I know there is a time and a place to be outspoken. The middle of a bar is not that place in my opinion, and especially not when I am working. When I am working, I am part of that establishment and as several people have said, it is against the law or something to NOT serve her. I'm already being impolite by refusing to hand her the drink or refusing to go get it out of the cooler.



I just believe it is very offensive for an employee to do so. I suppose I was raised with a different set of manners...



An example of a place where it IS the time to lecture: Your own home. Her home. A provate office party. A picnic. Etc. Where you and the woman are peers, not a waitress and a customer. There are lots of places to catch this woman drinking; but I feel it is very rude for a paid servant (aka a waitress) to assume authority over the woman and her decision. Could the owner of the bar deny her a drink? Yes. Could the head bartender or head chef deny her a drink? Yes. A waitress? No. A waitress has n place to speak for the entire establishment.



And I simply feel with 100% honesty that it would not be MY place as a waitress to do so. Now if I owned the bar or was the sole bartender or something, then yes, I would step up and say something. I'd have more authority then.

There is a huge difference between drinking during pregnancy and having an abortion. If you have an abortion, you are making the decision not to have a child. If you drink during pregnancy, you are making the decision to have a child that you have debilitated.

It's hard- because doctors can't seem to come to an agreement about how much alcohol is safe or if none at all is safe.

Personally, if I were pregnant I wouldn't drink at all just to be safe. And if serving a pregnant lady, I would probably say something like, "Oh, I thought you were pregnant! I can make that a virgin for you" and let her try and explain if she has a problem with it. I mean, perhaps she just looks pregnant because she just gave birth. Perhaps she is planning an abortion. For all I know, perhaps she is just wearing a pillow under her shirt.

Note--- there is incredible irony in making virgin drinks for pregnant women.... lol

The bar that I worked at in college we could refuse to serve a person for any reason. If the pregnant woman asked me if I was refusing to serve her because she was pregnant I would tell her "heck yeah".

It makes me sick to see a woman drinking, puffing on a cigarette, or in line at the methodone clinic for that matter. These are the same women who cry "poor me" when their kids come out underweight or with a host of other issues.

Lmao. That's a good way of putting it.

I was having the same problem of how to approach the woman as well, because you very well can't just start accusing her; she'll just go on the defensive, say "Well I'm just fat, how offensive you think I'm so fat I look pregnant, get me your manager you wh0r!!"

That's the tricky part though, you don't know for sure if she's pregnant.

*get your stones ready*

I drank wine when I was pregnant with both of my children. With Geneva it was one glass at Haloween and one glass at Thanksgiving. She was born on November 28th. With Hannah, I had a glass of wine on my birthday and one at Easter Dinner. She was born on June 8th.

Neither of my children suffer from FAS. The risk of damage done to the developing fetus by alcohol consumption is highest before a pregnant woman even looks pregnant-in the first trimester. The risks drop significantly after that. there is no "safe level" of alcohol for a pregnant woman, that is true. But you must realize that by the time a woman is obviously pregnant, there is a very small chance of any damage being done.

There is no way for a server to know whether the woman is a daily drinker or if she is having a single celebratory glass of wine. Personally, I never drank in public, becuase i didn't want to have to shrug of the disdain of people around me. When I had the glass of wine at Easter, my terribly uneducated -as-far-as-child-development-goes little brother threw a complete and total hissy fit which forced me to get out my child development text to help him understand. i don't advocate for pregnant women to drink, but i believe there is no harm in a single glass of wine at a celebration once a woman is well past the first trimester. I waited unti lalmost the end of my pregnancies.

Would I serve a pregnant woman? Luckily I am not a waitress, so I don't have to decide.

*picks up gianormous rock*

lol