Hi everyone, I just joined ehealth, so this will be my 1st post.

I'm 22 years old and I have inherited/developed the wonderful "Drink till no end" problem, a.k.a. Alcoholism. My first beer was at about 6. I desired drunkness ever since...

I started drinking heavily about 2-3 years ago and I feel like I've been drunk the whole time. I managed to quit for 32 days at one point. That was my personal best. But I decided to party one time with friends, and low and behold I was plastered 24-7 from then on, again.

I love to drink but I hate drinking. I love being drunk. I hate waking up after a drunk. I know I need to quit. But when I stop for a few days, (I can usually go about 2-3 days without), all my motivation to stay sober, all the tricks I had planned to maintain this time, all the backup plans even, they all fail. The thought of a beer, margarita, jack and coke, shot of tequila, this is the only thing that fills my mind. At this point I'm doomed. I will drink. I can't get it off my mind. If in the case it is impossible for me to drink, I will lay awake in bed all night, restless, but sure to buy a 24pk and a bottle first thing in the morning.

I know there are probably a lot of 10-20 year alcoholics that might think I'm just a party college student, and I will get over it. Wrong! My dad, my brother, my grandmother; its as if it was my destiny to drink my life away, damn irish/scottish roots...

Sorry about the lengthy post, I just need to get this off my chest.
Everyone is on to me and the sh*t is so close to hitting the fan; parents, girlfriend, brothers, friends, etc. They all see I'm destroying my life but I continue to deny it and argue with them.

Can I get some responses please, all this talk is making me thirsty. I don't want to screw up again tonight, I would like to change.

seefigure68