Joined: 11 Apr 2007 Posts: 5557 Location: Along the Mississippi, USA
Thanks: 90
Thanked:32
Posted: 08-23-07 15:38pm
She needs to go to the doctor. Lube
(plain, water based, no smells or
sensations) shouldn't sting, sex shouldn't
hurt.
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jako18
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 Aug 2007 Posts: 13
Posted: 08-23-07 21:39pm
Georgia59
wrote:
She needs to go to the
doctor. Lube (plain, water based, no
smells or sensations) shouldn't sting, sex
shouldn't
hurt.
No offence....but maybe sex didnt hurt for
you or some other people but i know plenty
of girls who said it did for them and
theyre fine. It depends on the girl, just
like it depends on the girl if she has a
hymen or whether she bleeds the first
time. It all depends on the girl. Every
girl is different, and im not telling my
gf to go to the doctor when its probably
nothing. Especially since shes very shy
and has told me she isnt ready to have a
doctor touchin her down there. Before i
came to this forum, many girls had told me
sex hurt them. I dont know whether it not
hurting is a scientific fact or not but i
do know everyone is different.
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Tylanas
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Jul 2005 Posts: 12985
Thanks: 3
Thanked:0
Posted: 08-23-07 22:05pm
jako18
wrote:
Georgia59
wrote:
She needs to go to the
doctor. Lube (plain, water based, no
smells or sensations) shouldn't sting, sex
shouldn't
hurt.
No offence....but maybe sex didnt hurt for
you or some other people but i know plenty
of girls who said it did for them and
theyre fine. It depends on the girl, just
like it depends on the girl if she has a
hymen or whether she bleeds the first
time. It all depends on the girl. Every
girl is different, and im not telling my
gf to go to the doctor when its probably
nothing. Especially since shes very shy
and has told me she isnt ready to have a
doctor touchin her down there. Before i
came to this forum, many girls had told me
sex hurt them. I dont know whether it not
hurting is a scientific fact or not but i
do know everyone is
different.
No offense, but it's probably your fault
she's having pain.
If you and she are having sex, then she
needs to see a doctor, period. It's the
healthy thing to do. I'm sure you don't
want your girl being sick, so care about
her!!
Yes, sex hurts most girls because most
guys force it in and don't use enough
lube, and the girl doesn't know any
better. Just because pain is common
doesn't make it right.
Love the vagina, don't just hump it!
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Georgia59
Moderator
Joined: 11 Apr 2007 Posts: 5557 Location: Along the Mississippi, USA
Thanks: 90
Thanked:32
Posted: 08-24-07 13:35pm
jako18
wrote:
Georgia59
wrote:
She needs to go to the
doctor. Lube (plain, water based, no
smells or sensations) shouldn't sting, sex
shouldn't
hurt.
No offence....but maybe sex didnt hurt for
you or some other people but i know plenty
of girls who said it did for them and
theyre fine. It depends on the girl, just
like it depends on the girl if she has a
hymen or whether she bleeds the first
time. It all depends on the girl. Every
girl is different, and im not telling my
gf to go to the doctor when its probably
nothing. Especially since shes very shy
and has told me she isnt ready to have a
doctor touchin her down there. Before i
came to this forum, many girls had told me
sex hurt them. I dont know whether it not
hurting is a scientific fact or not but i
do know everyone is
different.
I'm trying to say this gently from the
viewpoint of someone who has had plenty of
sex painful and painless. When it hurts,
that means something is wrong. Either
there is not enough lubrication, you are
being too harsh, she is not ready or
nervous, or something is medically wrong.
How can she be not ready to have a doc
touch her down there, but a boy who
doesn't care if it hurts can??
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Georgia59
Moderator
Joined: 11 Apr 2007 Posts: 5557 Location: Along the Mississippi, USA
Thanks: 90
Thanked:32
Posted: 08-24-07 14:00pm
Think about it, sex is supposed to a very
enjoyable experience for everyone
involved.
Pain has no place in that. It is hard to
enjoy yourself when you are in pain. Like
Eiri said, a lot of times, it will hurt
young or inexperienced people because they
don't know any better and are missing some
part of the equation.
Yes, let's all learn to love vaginas!!
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jako18
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 Aug 2007 Posts: 13
Posted: 08-24-07 18:55pm
Georgia59
wrote:
jako18
wrote:
Georgia59
wrote:
She needs to go to the
doctor. Lube (plain, water based, no
smells or sensations) shouldn't sting, sex
shouldn't
hurt.
No offence....but maybe sex didnt hurt for
you or some other people but i know plenty
of girls who said it did for them and
theyre fine. It depends on the girl, just
like it depends on the girl if she has a
hymen or whether she bleeds the first
time. It all depends on the girl. Every
girl is different, and im not telling my
gf to go to the doctor when its probably
nothing. Especially since shes very shy
and has told me she isnt ready to have a
doctor touchin her down there. Before i
came to this forum, many girls had told me
sex hurt them. I dont know whether it not
hurting is a scientific fact or not but i
do know everyone is
different.
I'm trying to say this gently from the
viewpoint of someone who has had plenty of
sex painful and painless. When it hurts,
that means something is wrong. Either
there is not enough lubrication, you are
being too harsh, she is not ready or
nervous, or something is medically wrong.
How can she be not ready to have a doc
touch her down there, but a boy who
doesn't care if it hurts
can??
Excuse me, dont you or eiri dare talk like
i dont care about her. She doesnt want to
see a doctor, coz its probably nothing.
Its probably not enough lube, she told me
the other day the lube doesnt sting, it
just shocked her. And dont talk like you
know my gf ok, im the only bf she has ever
got close to. The others she had only
kissed them. Took her ages to become
comfortable with me let alone some random
doctor ok. It may be my fault, i never
denied that. I came here to ask for some
advice, not relationship advice and not to
be judged either. Its not like i forced
sex onto her, i never pressured her and
infact it was her decision not mine. So
please dont pretend to think you know what
im like or what my gf is like. I dont mean
to come off as angry....but i am by the
fact two people who dont even know me have
basically just made out that i dont care
bout my gf.
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Tylanas
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Jul 2005 Posts: 12985
Thanks: 3
Thanked:0
Posted: 08-24-07 19:01pm
We're not giving you relationship advice,
we're giving you sex advice which is what
you asked for.
We suggested more lube, and tried several
times nicely to tell you that if she's in
pain, something isn't being done right. We
weren't blaming you or her initially, but
why get angry at us unless you want her
to be in pain? See how it doesn't make
sense to us?
If lube works, excellent. I'm really glad
to hear it didn't actually cause stinging.
Perhaps a warming lube would feel better
for her?
But I have to harp on this one more time.
If you are having sex, then she has GOT to
go to an OB/GYN. She needs a pap smear,
and a general women's-health check up. She
needs to do this every single year.
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jako18
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 Aug 2007 Posts: 13
Posted: 08-24-07 19:05pm
Eiri
wrote:
We're not giving you
relationship advice, we're giving you sex
advice which is what you asked for.
We suggested more lube, and tried several
times nicely to tell you that if she's in
pain, something isn't being done right. We
weren't blaming you or her initially, but
why get angry at us unless you want her
to be in pain? See how it doesn't make
sense to us?
If lube works, excellent. I'm really glad
to hear it didn't actually cause stinging.
Perhaps a warming lube would feel better
for her?
But I have to harp on this one more time.
If you are having sex, then she has GOT to
go to an OB/GYN. She needs a pap smear,
and a general women's-health check up. She
needs to do this every single
year.
Its not that i want her to be in pain, i
just dont think its anything physically
wrong with her. I know my gf and shes the
type of girl that is like if she think
something is gonna hurt, than its gonna
coz shes thinking bout it too much. Im
sure shes tensing, shes been told so much
by her friends that it hurts that shes
tensing coz shes expecting massive amounts
of pain.
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Tylanas
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Jul 2005 Posts: 12985
Thanks: 3
Thanked:0
Posted: 08-24-07 19:06pm
Her friends are right; and she needs to
relax. You can help her with this, yu
already know how.
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Georgia59
Moderator
Joined: 11 Apr 2007 Posts: 5557 Location: Along the Mississippi, USA
Thanks: 90
Thanked:32
Posted: 08-26-07 20:57pm
I'm sorry if I was offending you- I'm just
trying to make the point that there
shouldn't be any pain. I really hope the
lube works for you, I need to use it quite
often. And make sure she feels comfortable
(physically and emotionally) before you
try anything.
Convince her that it shouldn't hurt!
I'm glad you really are a nice caring
boyfriend.
But yes, if she's having sex at all even
without symptoms, she should start seeing
a gyno annually. This is just part of
being a woman and taking care of yourself.
(And it wouldn't hurt to be on birth
control if you're having sex She can find a nice
woman doctor who will be just as caring as
you are. They are really nice if they know
it's your first time.
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jako18
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 Aug 2007 Posts: 13
Posted: 08-30-07 08:47am
Georgia59
wrote:
I'm sorry if I was offending
you- I'm just trying to make the point
that there shouldn't be any pain. I really
hope the lube works for you, I need to use
it quite often. And make sure she feels
comfortable (physically and emotionally)
before you try anything.
Convince her that it shouldn't hurt!
I'm glad you really are a nice caring
boyfriend.
But yes, if she's having sex at all even
without symptoms, she should start seeing
a gyno annually. This is just part of
being a woman and taking care of yourself.
(And it wouldn't hurt to be on birth
control if you're having sex She can find a nice
woman doctor who will be just as caring as
you are. They are really nice if they know
it's your first
time.
Sorry i reacted that way, its just
frustrating. I talked to her the other day
after we tried again, this time i had made
her orgasm before we tried. BUT she still
clenched, i think its coz she has it in
her head that its really gonna hurt and
she thinks pain is about to come so she
clenches. I asked her to tell me whether
she was clenching and she said she thinks
she was and she does it naturally coz she
thinks its gonna hurt. I remember times
when i had fingered her and she wasnt
clenching and she said it barely hurt but
now days shes just clenching all the time.
After we had tried that time, i tried
going down on her so i could see her
vagina entrance. And man she gotta be
clenching coz i reckon i would of been
lucky to get a pencil in there let alone
my dick.
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Georgia59
Moderator
Joined: 11 Apr 2007 Posts: 5557 Location: Along the Mississippi, USA
Thanks: 90
Thanked:32
Posted: 09-04-07 10:44am
There are medical conditions that cause
pain during sex including ones that cause
muscle spasms that could cause what you
are describing.
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Georgia59
Moderator
Joined: 11 Apr 2007 Posts: 5557 Location: Along the Mississippi, USA
This is why we're saying she needs to go
to the doctor. Some of these conditions
can cause permanent damage or infertility.
Yes, it is probably just her being nervous
or not ready. But it might not be, and
that is why she needs to go to the doc.
If you're mature enough to have sex, you
have to be mature enough to go to the doc.
Maybe she's not really ready for sex? Why
don't you wait for her to initiate?
This is why we're saying she needs to go
to the doctor. Some of these conditions
can cause permanent damage or infertility.
Yes, it is probably just her being nervous
or not ready. But it might not be, and
that is why she needs to go to the doc.
If you're mature enough to have sex, you
have to be mature enough to go to the doc.
Maybe she's not really ready for sex? Why
don't you wait for her to
initiate?
Like i said, it was her choice, not mine.
I have talked to her about it and she is
100 percent ready. And i think she may of
had her hymen still so we have decided
that we are going to stick to fingering
for a while as we hadnt done much of it
before.
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Georgia59
Moderator
Joined: 11 Apr 2007 Posts: 5557 Location: Along the Mississippi, USA
Thanks: 90
Thanked:32
Posted: 09-05-07 08:01am
Sometimes when the hymen is still present
(because in many women it goes away during
childhood or was never there) it is
difficult to break through. In that case,
there may be pain and bleeding when it
finally is broken. This is something else
she can talk to her doctor about.
Good luck.
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nicnac01
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Jul 2007 Posts: 28 Location: ,
Posted: 09-07-07 14:21pm
Penis + Vagina = Pea soup
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Georgia59
Moderator
Joined: 11 Apr 2007 Posts: 5557 Location: Along the Mississippi, USA
She can find a nice
woman doctor who will be just as caring as
you are. They are really nice if they know
it's your first time.
