She needs to go to the doctor. Lube (plain, water based, no smells or sensations) shouldn't sting, sex shouldn't hurt.

No offence....but maybe sex didnt hurt for you or some other people but i know plenty of girls who said it did for them and theyre fine. It depends on the girl, just like it depends on the girl if she has a hymen or whether she bleeds the first time. It all depends on the girl. Every girl is different, and im not telling my gf to go to the doctor when its probably nothing. Especially since shes very shy and has told me she isnt ready to have a doctor touchin her down there. Before i came to this forum, many girls had told me sex hurt them. I dont know whether it not hurting is a scientific fact or not but i do know everyone is different.

No offense, but it's probably your fault she's having pain.

If you and she are having sex, then she needs to see a doctor, period. It's the healthy thing to do. I'm sure you don't want your girl being sick, so care about her!!

Yes, sex hurts most girls because most guys force it in and don't use enough lube, and the girl doesn't know any better. Just because pain is common doesn't make it right.

Love the vagina, don't just hump it!

I'm trying to say this gently from the viewpoint of someone who has had plenty of sex painful and painless. When it hurts, that means something is wrong. Either there is not enough lubrication, you are being too harsh, she is not ready or nervous, or something is medically wrong.

How can she be not ready to have a doc touch her down there, but a boy who doesn't care if it hurts can??

Think about it, sex is supposed to a very enjoyable experience for everyone involved.

Pain has no place in that. It is hard to enjoy yourself when you are in pain. Like Eiri said, a lot of times, it will hurt young or inexperienced people because they don't know any better and are missing some part of the equation.

Yes, let's all learn to love vaginas!!

Excuse me, dont you or eiri dare talk like i dont care about her. She doesnt want to see a doctor, coz its probably nothing. Its probably not enough lube, she told me the other day the lube doesnt sting, it just shocked her. And dont talk like you know my gf ok, im the only bf she has ever got close to. The others she had only kissed them. Took her ages to become comfortable with me let alone some random doctor ok. It may be my fault, i never denied that. I came here to ask for some advice, not relationship advice and not to be judged either. Its not like i forced sex onto her, i never pressured her and infact it was her decision not mine. So please dont pretend to think you know what im like or what my gf is like. I dont mean to come off as angry....but i am by the fact two people who dont even know me have basically just made out that i dont care bout my gf.

We're not giving you relationship advice, we're giving you sex advice which is what you asked for.

We suggested more lube, and tried several times nicely to tell you that if she's in pain, something isn't being done right. We weren't blaming you or her initially, but why get angry at us unless you want her to be in pain? See how it doesn't make sense to us?

If lube works, excellent. I'm really glad to hear it didn't actually cause stinging. Perhaps a warming lube would feel better for her?

But I have to harp on this one more time.

If you are having sex, then she has GOT to go to an OB/GYN. She needs a pap smear, and a general women's-health check up. She needs to do this every single year.

Its not that i want her to be in pain, i just dont think its anything physically wrong with her. I know my gf and shes the type of girl that is like if she think something is gonna hurt, than its gonna coz shes thinking bout it too much. Im sure shes tensing, shes been told so much by her friends that it hurts that shes tensing coz shes expecting massive amounts of pain.

Her friends are right; and she needs to relax. You can help her with this, yu already know how.

I'm sorry if I was offending you- I'm just trying to make the point that there shouldn't be any pain. I really hope the lube works for you, I need to use it quite often. And make sure she feels comfortable (physically and emotionally) before you try anything.

Convince her that it shouldn't hurt!

I'm glad you really are a nice caring boyfriend.

But yes, if she's having sex at all even without symptoms, she should start seeing a gyno annually. This is just part of being a woman and taking care of yourself. (And it wouldn't hurt to be on birth control if you're having sex She can find a nice woman doctor who will be just as caring as you are. They are really nice if they know it's your first time.

Sorry i reacted that way, its just frustrating. I talked to her the other day after we tried again, this time i had made her orgasm before we tried. BUT she still clenched, i think its coz she has it in her head that its really gonna hurt and she thinks pain is about to come so she clenches. I asked her to tell me whether she was clenching and she said she thinks she was and she does it naturally coz she thinks its gonna hurt. I remember times when i had fingered her and she wasnt clenching and she said it barely hurt but now days shes just clenching all the time. After we had tried that time, i tried going down on her so i could see her vagina entrance. And man she gotta be clenching coz i reckon i would of been lucky to get a pencil in there let alone my dick.

There are medical conditions that cause pain during sex including ones that cause muscle spasms that could cause what you are describing.

Including--

Yeast infections, PID, cervicitis, dyspareunia, endometriosis, insterstitial cystitis, urethritis, vaginitis, vaginismus, and vulvodynia.

The most common reason being vaginal dryness.

This is why we're saying she needs to go to the doctor. Some of these conditions can cause permanent damage or infertility. Yes, it is probably just her being nervous or not ready. But it might not be, and that is why she needs to go to the doc.

If you're mature enough to have sex, you have to be mature enough to go to the doc.

Maybe she's not really ready for sex? Why don't you wait for her to initiate?

Like i said, it was her choice, not mine. I have talked to her about it and she is 100 percent ready. And i think she may of had her hymen still so we have decided that we are going to stick to fingering for a while as we hadnt done much of it before.

Sometimes when the hymen is still present (because in many women it goes away during childhood or was never there) it is difficult to break through. In that case, there may be pain and bleeding when it finally is broken. This is something else she can talk to her doctor about.

Good luck.

Penis Vagina = Pea soup

No idea.