General Debate Forum - Men Forced Into Child Support ?

benc152

replied on August 17th, 2007

Experienced User

no it isn't fair for a man to have to pay for a child he didn't want.

But reguardless of the woman leaving him alone and saying he wont have to have anything to do with the kid, when the child grows up it'll want to know and meet it's father.

No matter what he'll end up paying some kind of role and probably some money on the child.

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Jules

replied on August 17th, 2007

Extremely eHealthy

Re: Men Forced Into Child Support ?

Anne123 wrote:

I think in cases like this that the man should be able to sign away all rights to the future child, agree that he will never attempt to contact mother or child in the future - and thus NOT be forced to pay child support.

What if that leaves the child in poverty? It that not unfair on the child, who after all, did not ask to be created?

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Anne123

replied on August 17th, 2007

Experienced User

Quite untrue for you to state that no matter what the biological father will play some role. No contact in the future means no contact in the future.

What about a 1-night stand? What if they are teens when they get pregnant? What if the woman gets married when the child is young - the child has a father so why would the child have any desire to find some guy who once had sex with their mom?

I am referring to the situation where there will be no future contact.

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benc152

replied on August 17th, 2007

Experienced User

Anne123 wrote:

Quite untrue for you to state that no matter what the biological father will play some role. No contact in the future means no contact in the future.

What about a 1-night stand? What if they are teens when they get pregnant? What if the woman gets married when the child is young - the child has a father so why would the child have any desire to find some guy who once had sex with their mom?

I am referring to the situation where there will be no future contact.

perhaps some wouldn't, but I know if my mother told me now that my dad wasn't my real dad I'd definatly want to find the man who was.

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Anne123

replied on August 17th, 2007

Experienced User

Re: Men Forced Into Child Support ?

Jules wrote:

Anne123 wrote:

I think in cases like this that the man should be able to sign away all rights to the future child, agree that he will never attempt to contact mother or child in the future - and thus NOT be forced to pay child support.

What if that leaves the child in poverty? It that not unfair on the child, who after all, did not ask to be created?

When the woman made the decision to have a child without the father's involvement that would be the risk that she took - and the responsibility that she took on. It was her decision to raise a child in a situation where the child can't be properly provided for.

Women are just as capable of providing for a family as a man is.

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Jules

replied on August 17th, 2007

Extremely eHealthy

benc152 wrote:

Anne123 wrote:

Quite untrue for you to state that no matter what the biological father will play some role. No contact in the future means no contact in the future.

What about a 1-night stand? What if they are teens when they get pregnant? What if the woman gets married when the child is young - the child has a father so why would the child have any desire to find some guy who once had sex with their mom?

I am referring to the situation where there will be no future contact.

perhaps some wouldn't, but I know if my mother told me now that my dad wasn't my real dad I'd definatly want to find the man who was.

Agreed. It's common and very natural to want to know your biological roots.

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Jules

replied on August 17th, 2007

Extremely eHealthy

Re: Men Forced Into Child Support ?

Anne123 wrote:

When the woman made the decision to have a child without the father's involvement that would be the risk that she took - and the responsibility that she took on. It was her decision to raise a child in a situation where the child can't be properly provided for.

Women are just as capable of providing for a family as a man is.

Ah, so are you saying that this contract involves the woman agreeing to it? If so then fair enough. If, however, a man just wants to get out of his responsibilty then that's not fair to the child.

Of course women can provide as well as a man, but why should a woman have to do it alone just because she didn't want to terminate her pregnancy? Abortion isn't that easy an option you know.

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meblonde01

replied on August 17th, 2007

Extremely eHealthy

If men would pay their responsibilities they wouldn't be a law to force them.. But I have to add. I think some women try and trap men into marring them. And some women tell men they are safe from getting Pregnant and they aren’t. But it is still a man responsibility to take precautions. I personally think men get the raw end of the deal in a lot of things when it comes to legal things with women.

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Rodge

replied on August 17th, 2007

Active User, very eHealthy

If the guy doesn't want kids he should wear a bloody condom. Pure and simple. If he can't do that, then he'll have to do what the woman he knocked up has to do and 'face the consequences'.

(Bless? what filters.)

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benc152

replied on August 17th, 2007

Experienced User

Rodge wrote:

If the guy doesn't want kids he should wear a bloody condom. Pure and simple. If he can't do that, then he'll have to do what the woman he knocked up has to do and 'face the consequences'.

(Bless? what filters.)

pfft if the woman doesn't want it she should ask him to wear a condom

sex is a two (usually) person act, don't blame either gender for pregnancy

he didn't knock her up, unless it was rape they did it together.

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Marfa2107

replied on August 17th, 2007

Extremely eHealthy

benc152 wrote:

Rodge wrote:

If the guy doesn't want kids he should wear a bloody condom. Pure and simple. If he can't do that, then he'll have to do what the woman he knocked up has to do and 'face the consequences'.

(Bless? what filters.)

pfft if the woman doesn't want it she should ask him to wear a condom

sex is a two (usually) person act, don't blame either gender for pregnancy

he didn't knock her up, unless it was rape they did it together.

therefore they are both responsible...

don't the leave the other hangin...

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benc152

replied on August 17th, 2007

Experienced User

Marfa2107 wrote:

benc152 wrote:

Rodge wrote:

If the guy doesn't want kids he should wear a bloody condom. Pure and simple. If he can't do that, then he'll have to do what the woman he knocked up has to do and 'face the consequences'.

(Bless? what filters.)

pfft if the woman doesn't want it she should ask him to wear a condom

sex is a two (usually) person act, don't blame either gender for pregnancy

he didn't knock her up, unless it was rape they did it together.

therefore they are both responsible...

don't the leave the other hangin...

yeah but in reguards to this topic its when the man says "no i don't want a child, can you get an abortion" and the woman has the child and then comes along for money

if for instance the woman says "i'm going to have an abortion, i don't want this child" and the man says no, give birth to it, you wont have to pay a cent there is a HUGE chance she'll turn around and say "no it's my body not yours, you have no say"

therefore, what right, and what equality is there in reguards to men and women with abortion and child support, the woman gets her way everytime.

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Marfa2107

replied on August 17th, 2007

Extremely eHealthy

yeah because it is her body
she will be carrying that baby for 9months..

the guy wont..

i don't understand how you think it is fair for a woman
to put her body through that if she doesn't want to...

but you are saying that they are both responsible
and they are
but i think the woman has more say than the man on what she wants
HER body to go through and endure...

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benc152

replied on August 17th, 2007

Experienced User

Marfa2107 wrote:

yeah because it is her body
she will be carrying that baby for 9months..

the guy wont..

i don't understand how you think it is fair for a woman
to put her body through that if she doesn't want to...

but you are saying that they are both responsible
and they are
but i think the woman has more say than the man on what she wants
HER body to go through and endure...

that;s not fair to him though, he doesn't get the chance to carry the baby.
And it's 9 months out of your life, not even an entire year. and because of that the man misses out on the chance to have a kid.

this topic is about mens rights, a man's right to raise a kid, a man's right not to raise a kid.

In reguards to having a say about pregnancy men's opinions are usually ignored, the child is half his, he should get a say.

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Marfa2107

replied on August 17th, 2007

Extremely eHealthy

well it's a biological factor..
the man can not have a pregnancy...
sorry..
and yeah it is 9months..
that's a long time.. ask any woman on here that has been pregnant..
do you know the hormones that pregnant women go through??...
and all the changes their body goes through...
not to mention labor..
none of that the man has to do any of...

if a man wanted a child
maybe he should have talked to the woman before having sex with her
and made sure they were both on the same page with having children
it's a responsibility issue...

this is kinda the same as someone telling a man he has to get snipped...
but he doesn't want to..
b/c it's his body...
but the woman wants him to..
b/c she doesn't want anymore kids..
do you see now?

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Birch

replied on August 17th, 2007

Extremely eHealthy

I've always thought there should be equal footing when parenting is concerned.

No one should be forced to become a parent; female or male.

I think there should be a time limit to "opt out" for the fathers; just like there is for mothers. The mother is required to inform the father of her condition, and he gets until the law says she can not have an abortion unless it is a medical necessity.

However, I have not reconciled this to figure out how this would not leave many women and children in poverty. Any ideas?

Anne123 wrote:

Quite untrue for you to state that no matter what the biological father will play some role. No contact in the future means no contact in the future.

That is indeed a role. The role of "paternal absentia". Wink

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benc152

replied on August 17th, 2007

Experienced User

Marfa2107 wrote:

well it's a biological factor..
the man can not have a pregnancy...
sorry..
and yeah it is 9months..
that's a long time.. ask any woman on here that has been pregnant..
do you know the hormones that pregnant women go through??...
and all the changes their body goes through...
not to mention labor..
none of that the man has to do any of...

if a man wanted a child
maybe he should have talked to the woman before having sex with her
and made sure they were both on the same page with having children
it's a responsibility issue...

this is kinda the same as someone telling a man he has to get snipped...
but he doesn't want to..
b/c it's his body...
but the woman wants him to..
b/c she doesn't want anymore kids..
do you see now?

it is not the same lol, being snipped is permanent
not aborting a baby is not a permanent thing, yes there are permanent effects, stretch marks and caca like that , but it doesn't stop you from

I know what hormones pregnnt women go through, my mum has a child and is currently pregnant, my step mum has had two children and an ex girlfriend gave birth to my child

but i just don;t like the double standard, it's 9 months apposed to a lifetime

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meblonde01

replied on August 17th, 2007

Extremely eHealthy

And can a make have a say if a women has an abortion and he doesn't want it? He is responsible for the child 18 years if it is born but has no say if she wants to abort it and he doesn't. But it’s HER body.. Her way!

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Marfa2107

replied on August 17th, 2007

Extremely eHealthy

Birch wrote:

However, I have not reconciled this to figure out how this would not leave many women and children in poverty. Any ideas?

idk
maybe if the father "opts out"..
he is required to pay a certain amt...
kinda like child support...

idk that's just an idea??

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