I just need to say this in words and try
to lessen the emotions I have in my mind.
I'm going through a lot of problems at
home. I'm an adult and want to take that
step out on my own, but my mom is
constantly threatening to kill herself if
I was ever to move out or even begin my
own life. She is definitely overly
dependent on me and all I feel is pressure
from having to act the way she wants to or
else she guilts me with her suicidal
thoughts. I have asked her to seek help,
but she refuses and no one else in my
family thinks she needs it.
Because of her constant need to stay
attached to me, I haven't been able to
live my own life. All my friends have
strayed from me and I no longer have
anyone I can talk to. I'm at home most of
the time because I worry about her and the
child she is babysitting. I usually stay
locked in my bedroom thinking of ways I
can free myself from this chain and the
only thoughts I get are thoughts of ending
my life so I will be free. I don't have
anyone I can talk to and everything is
bottled inside of me. I spend most of my
nights crying myself to sleep. In addition
to these bad thoughts I have, I also worry
about this child. Her parents do not think
there is a problem, but I can see the
emotional damage being inflicted upon her.
She is being trained to be attached to my
mom, as I was. I can't bring myself to
betray my mom, but I worry about this
child and myself.
I feel like I have a ball and chain
attached to me for life. I've become
completely withdrawn from life. Other than
work, I literally stay home all the time.
I can feel the life being sucked out of
me. I don't know what to do. If I muster
up the courage to leave my mom, I feel
like she would kill herself. If I stay, I
think a bottle of pills would be my new
best friend. I don't know what to do.
|
KingRett
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Aug 2007 Posts: 7 Location: New York, USA
Posted: 08-22-07 01:04am
Hey i just joined this thing 5 mins ago
plus i am depressed and "semi-suicidal" as
i call it. i'am a lilttle sleeply so i
will try help but its going to be short.
Acording to you if you try to live life
and move out your mom will say she will
kill herself. and if you still you might
just do suicide. so pretty much what you
do could make a suicide happen. if you do
suicide your mother will do suicide as
well becuase of her dependacy on you. iam
sure noone would want a double suicide or
deaths to happen so i dont think that will
be a good idea. also if you still and
move out she might do suicide becuase i
have learned when people talk about
suicide always take it serouis. so i think
you and our mother should try to talk
things out and go see a doctor and try to
fix this problem abut you and your mother.
yeah i know iam sort of babbing so i will
end this now. this might not work but at
least you have some sort of idea how to
fix this. cya i hope this helps. good
luck.
