My current boyfriend (26) was experiencing obsessive love towards his ex, because she broke up with him. I (19) had the pleasure of meeting her, because they were still friends when my boyfriend and I started seeing each other. I immediately became uncomfortable with the situation. He told me he loved her (as a friend). When she came to visit him, I was on vacation in Germany. This allowed me to believe that they could have messed around. He told me she is married. I retorted, "that doesn't matter to some people."
He tried to assure me that nothing happened. I however kept bringing the issue up, over and over again. I read his emails, and could tell that he had been obsessed with her. He later confessed that he had felt that way. He even had a rebound girl after her.
I cannot quite get over this. When I finally came back from Germany, she was still there, and I got to meet her. We didn't exchange many words. At one point she said, "I always kick his butt when we wrestle." So I knew they wrestled, and were quite comfortable around each other. It didn't seem right, the two of them alone in his bedroom wrestling. Were they really just being friends? Am I being too paranoid?
After I cried so many times to my boyfriend about how I feel, he said he wouldn't contact her anymore. I am having so much trouble trusting him, which isn't healthy in a relationship. I have constant dreams of him cheating on me, and being whipped by her. I wake up angry, and I'll tell him about it. I'm obsessed with this jealousy issue, because he was obsessed with her. I constantly feel like I am not as precious to him as she was/is. The fact that I dream about it doesn't help. I have considered breaking up with him as an only option to get over this, but I love him, and he says he loves me. We've been together for over a year now (my longest relationship ever). What should I do?