Obsessive Jealousy After Bf's Obsessive Love Posted: 08-16-07 07:19am
My current boyfriend (26) was experiencing
obsessive love towards his ex, because she
broke up with him. I (19) had the
pleasure of meeting her, because they were
still friends when my boyfriend and I
started seeing each other. I immediately
became uncomfortable with the situation.
He told me he loved her (as a friend).
When she came to visit him, I was on
vacation in Germany. This allowed me to
believe that they could have messed
around. He told me she is married. I
retorted, "that doesn't matter to some
people."
He tried to assure me that nothing
happened. I however kept bringing the
issue up, over and over again. I read his
emails, and could tell that he had been
obsessed with her. He later confessed
that he had felt that way. He even had a
rebound girl after her.
I cannot quite get over this. When I
finally came back from Germany, she was
still there, and I got to meet her. We
didn't exchange many words. At one point
she said, "I always kick his butt when we
wrestle." So I knew they wrestled, and
were quite comfortable around each other.
It didn't seem right, the two of them
alone in his bedroom wrestling. Were they
really just being friends? Am I being too
paranoid?
After I cried so many times to my
boyfriend about how I feel, he said he
wouldn't contact her anymore. I am having
so much trouble trusting him, which isn't
healthy in a relationship. I have
constant dreams of him cheating on me, and
being whipped by her. I wake up angry,
and I'll tell him about it. I'm obsessed
with this jealousy issue, because he was
obsessed with her. I constantly feel like
I am not as precious to him as she was/is.
The fact that I dream about it doesn't
help. I have considered breaking up with
him as an only option to get over this,
but I love him, and he says he loves me.
We've been together for over a year now
(my longest relationship ever). What
should I do?
|
Georgia59
Moderator
Joined: 11 Apr 2007 Posts: 5557 Location: Along the Mississippi, USA
Thanks: 90
Thanked:32
Posted: 08-20-07 13:58pm
You need to determine if he "was" obsessed
with her or if he "is" obsessed with her.
Have a heart to heart with him and talk
about it. If he is still hung up on her,
it is not worth being in a relationship
with a man who has his heart divided....
|
wazzywoman4ever
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Aug 2007 Posts: 67 Location: texas, america
Been There Done That Posted: 09-23-07 15:17pm
and it took leaving him for him to knock
it off...........he kept bringing up her
name in every conversation it could be the
street we were on and he would have say me
an so n so went this way back when
ect.......he No longer brings his other
woman up to me he knows it is not ok with
me and he has been given an ultimatum on
keeping female friends he can keep a ten
year ex as a friend but his other health
forum NO If he insists on female
friendships they can not of ever been his
lovers ....I refuse to live that way hung
up on them or no If we are the couple
those others are history not worth
repeating..............I won't put up
with it and I do love him ....but I love
my sanity too.......no sleepless nights
over other woman thank you no . good luck
wazzywoman/robin
