Controlling Husband That Always Yells At Me Posted: 08-15-07 21:14pm
I am at my wits end. I have a
controlling husband, & he knows,
because I have told him, I hate his
yelling at me. He yells, swears, curses
& blows up if anything goes wrong. Of
course, it is always my fault because I am
the only one around to blame.
I've been advised to leave.... but that is
easier said than done.
He does have some good days, but they are
few and far in between. Any one have a
similar situation, with an answer to
solution to someone that is pulling her
hair out now. I am so frustrated. Help
me please.
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mrsbuzski
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 15 Jun 2007 Posts: 103 Location: U.S.A. -- Illinois
Tell Him to Go Pound Sand! Posted: 08-16-07 00:50am
Well.....It depends on how long you have
been together.
I personally, (25 years of marital bliss),
have learned to walk alway when he decides
he can not act like a mature adult and has
to result to cussing and name calling.
As, when dealing with my senior mother.
If you want to swear and get all puffy,
than guess what? You just lost my
attention! Good Bye!
My suggestion, put on a happy face, find
something to make you think positive;
cooking, cleaning, gardening, whatelver,
but, ignore the negativity.
Don't let someone bring you down. We are
all responsible for our own existence!
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Seanyboy1985turbo
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Aug 2007 Posts: 39
a Posted: 08-23-07 03:55am
Great rid of him, im a bloke and i would
never do that unless i was actually joking
about.
I cant understand how some blokes are like
that. Get rid darling. And start a new
life. It canbe done and whenit does you
will look back and think im so much
happier.
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mrsbuzski
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 15 Jun 2007 Posts: 103 Location: U.S.A. -- Illinois
Bloke? Posted: 08-23-07 07:07am
Pardon my ignorance, but what is a bloke?
If the person with anger issues is related
to you through blood, so your stuck with
dealing with them for life? What then?
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Georgia59
Supporter
Joined: 11 Apr 2007 Posts: 5542 Location: Along the Mississippi, USA
Thanks: 89
Thanked:31
Posted: 08-23-07 15:42pm
You chose the man, you can un choose him.
Leave him!! It's not worth the emotional
pain. You will find a man who will treat
you better.
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Fairy*Godmother
Supporter
Joined: 11 Oct 2003 Posts: 1403 Location: , Georgia USA
Thanks: 54
Thanked:62
Hi Posted: 08-23-07 15:52pm
SCREAM BACK???????? kinda works for
me......I guess it depends on if you
really love this guy and he loves
you....if he has anger management issues
and control issuses, he will NEVER change
and things will always be this way. You
have a choice to either live with him like
this....cause we both know he AIN'T going
for therapy....or move on. Yep, there are
lots of BLOKES (guys) out there who
appreciate a good woman. On the other
hand, if you love him and can scream back,
get all in his face.....knock yourself
out..........its kinda like two little
kids in a yelling match, but after a few
minutes we both realize how damned stupid
we've been and we're good! Feel
free to PM if youd like!
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Quincybug09
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Aug 2007 Posts: 41 Location: Birmingham, AL United States
Re: Controlling Husband That Always Yells At Me Posted: 08-29-07 22:31pm
Margaret1947
wrote:
I am at my wits end. I
have a controlling husband, & he
knows, because I have told him, I hate his
yelling at me. He yells, swears, curses
& blows up if anything goes wrong. Of
course, it is always my fault because I am
the only one around to blame.
I've been advised to leave.... but that is
easier said than done.
He does have some good days, but they are
few and far in between. Any one have a
similar situation, with an answer to
solution to someone that is pulling her
hair out now. I am so frustrated. Help
me please.
Hi. I have been there. I put up with it
for 5 years. I put on a happy face and
apologized. I cried a lot and that seemed
to make him happy and he would go away.
If I tried to walk away he would follow
me. If I didn't get mad back at him it
made him madder. If I did, then of course
that made him madder. He always said he
wanted me to be as "pissed off" as he was.
I eventually just started laughing at
him, and guess what, that really made him
mad. At times he would beat my dog (mine
before marriage) for almost no reason at
all.
Anyway, what I'm trying to get to is that
I tried really hard to make it work. But
he ended up in jail (just overnight) a few
times, and we ended up in court twice.
And that was after the divorce and it was
very embarrassing for me. I wasn't raised
that way. Even if you really love him,
like I did, and want it to work, it will
never change unless HE makes a GENUINE
effort. There are classes now for abusive
spouses. Not anger management. I have
heard and read that those types of people
end up using the things they learn in
anger management to be more manipulative
and controlling. I'm not sure how that
works, but it was on a TV special on
domestic abuse. Usually they wont go to
therapy anyway. I hate to admit this, but
I still have love for my ex-, and probably
always will. He held the deepest,
strongest hold on my heart that I have
ever known. Even now that I am remarried
to a wonderful man! But even before I was
remarried, I was much better off without
him and the pain he caused in my life. If
you decide to get away, you will see.
Please know that verbal and emotional
abuse is wrong! See if you can find
someone to talk to in your area. Look in
the phone directory for a help line or
shelter if you need it. But, if you do,
don't let him know. That would probably
make things that much worse.
I don't know about you and your husband.
But I am 5'3" and 110 lbs. and he was 6'5"
and 285 lbs. It takes a lot of guts to
stand up to a man like that. But it was
all worth it in the end. And men like
that should learn something from their
mistakes. I just hope that my ex- doesn't
find another prey. But I'm sure he will.
Take care of yourself. Talk to someone.
If you already have and didn't get help,
then talk to someone else. Don't let the
situation get worse.
Sorry that I went on for so long! I am
very passionate against domestic violence.
And, yes, screaming, cursing, and name
calling is domestic violence. Someone had
to tell me that. I didn't know that it
was wrong. And I am a nurse.
Take care of yourself! Do what you need
to do to make things better for you. - T
Feel free to PM me if you would like. I
will be happy to talk with you more about
what you can do to make things right.
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Rosie H
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Jun 2007 Posts: 1118 Location: Phoenix, AZ, USA
Thanks: 15
Thanked:5
Posted: 09-04-07 12:10pm
Im sorry but that is emotional and verbal
abuse. That is not ok! Put your foot
down and let him know how you feel. If he
doesnt consider your feelings after that
then he never will.
Maybe couples counseling would help?
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sandyallen
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Feb 2004 Posts: 4580
Posted: 09-04-07 13:14pm
Have you tried talking to him about how he
treats you? Yes it is mental abuse and you
are the one that needs to decide weather
to take it or leave it. One of my
relationships started off like that and
then it went to physical abuse. You are to
good for this, please don't take it as it
can really get worse. Maybe you can yell
back in his face just so he gets a taste
of his own medicine. In the long run, it
is your choice and you must do what you
feel is the right thing to do. There are
much better guys out there! I wish you all
the luck!
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wazzywoman4ever
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Aug 2007 Posts: 67 Location: texas, america
I Waited 22 Years Posted: 09-22-07 07:19am
I am still experiencing some residual
brain washing and control issues from that
marriage ...........how long are you going
to wait?????????while your deciding you
might want to read this book I found at my
daughters THE FIVE LANGUAGES OF LOVE By
Gary Chapman .........if leaving is not
possible maybe there is a tool to fix it
or make it easier ...good luck
wazzywoman /robin
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womaninpain
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 10 Jul 2007 Posts: 179
Posted: 09-26-07 22:34pm
I am in the same situation. It got to the
point where it was just constant arguing
because of it and I said something had to
give I can't live like this. He offered
counseling which I was just waiting for
him to do and the counselor has advised
him to go into anger management which he
is willing to try out. I think that
counseling would help as well as anger
management. Good Luck
Feel
free to PM if youd like!
