Im very very sorry for your loss, but personally, I think you did the right thing. Even if the child had a chance to live, and lets say you raised it, I think there would always be a slight hate for it somewhere in the back of your mind because of the way it was concieved. Also, when the child would grow up and ask, "whose my dad" or something of that nature, what would you tell it? Couldnt its life be completely messed up because of this? What would happen later on, (if your single), and you were trying to find the right guy to marry? He would probably find out about this child, and be kind of turned off from a real, lifelong relationship?

I think you did the right thing, in the long run. Im not all for abortion or anything, but for the situation, I think it was right. Now being male, alot of ladies might not agree with me, but thats just my opinion. Sorry.

Also, I hope your sisters boyfriend spends the rest of his sorry miserable life in jail, gets raped himself, and then burns in hell (sorry if that was out of line).

Hey hun,

i am sorry to hear about everything, but you did what was right for you, and do not let anyone tell you any different. I would do the same thing if I was in your position, and I know many others would agree. Caliguy pretty much said everything I would say, right down to the part where your sister's (i hope it is her ex by now) boyfriend had better be in jail, and I hope he become's some guy's health forum and gets raped himself....If you ask me, that's not enough punishment, but it is a start. As for you, try to look forward in your life, and you know that when the time comes for you to have a child of your own, you will love that child with all of your heart. Everything will be just fine, and make sure that you know that you are not at fault for anything - including the rape. My friend was raped, and for the longest time she blamed herself...It took a while, but she has now realized that no means no, no matter what.

Good luck :d

Oh sweetheat..

U did what was best for you, according to your feelings and such, I think it was a good idea to get the abortion.

Think about it this way, would u want to tell ur child that the daddy is a rapist? And what about lying to him/her about the dad? Not a very mothery thing to do. And what about telling ur child the daddy is a rapist, and he/she will feel horrible or sad of some kind, so what would you do? How would u feel if u were the result of a rape? Not so good of a feeling huh? And ur child might even blame him/herself and have emotional difficulties dealing with that.

So dont feel bad about it.

You could probably use some grief counseling and maybe a support group with girls/women who have been through it themselves. They can give you advice on what has helped them cope.

I don't know of any agency off hand, but I imagine in your local telephone book or maybe even through the hospitals, you can find some information.

I can't imagine what you are going through. I can understand where you would feel the way you did to bring you to the decision of abortion, and I can also understand why you would feel how you do now.

You can't change the choice you made, but you can get through this. Find the support you need. It's out there.

My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Libby

I feel ya girl...I was raped too, but unlike u I chose to keep my child, I did consider abortion for the 1st 3 months...And I don't believe in it. I thought I would hate this child, but he has become my world, no one but god can explain what goes on through your mind after u are raped. I am truly sorry that u have had to go through all u have. Anytime that u need to talk PM me.

Hey chick, its not ur fault, you couldnt help that happened so you cant blame yourself for what happened. If you were to of had that baby it would have had a troubled life growing up no matter how much you tried to raise it and did everything you could for that precious baby, that baby would have wanted to know why that would have happened and why he/she doesnt have a dad or why would someone do such a thing, but its not ur fault, you shouldnt blame yourself for that. I learned not to blame myself when I was raped by a cousin. I didnt want to say anything to finally someone saw and I was better I felt relieved that someone knew and I could tell someone about, I learned not to blame myself so keep your head up and live life a good one and be happy cause you deserve to be happy

Dear phillygirl,

I am so sorry about what happened to you, that is a very sad story and I think everyone here is sympathysing with you. Rape is one of the most awful crime, and no one deserves to be violated like that. Again, i'm very sorry, that is very sad.

Take care...

.::suzy::.

Take care sweetie. Best of luck

I'm sorry to hear that you have gone through this, as no one deserves to be in a situation anything like that! Although you may have made the right decision according to your feelings at the time, I can understand how you would start to feel guilt. I'm not sure what else to say, as I am completely against abortion myself, but maybe you did the right thing. Although you are right - it wasn't the baby's fault!
Please get yourself some counselling, and take care. Sorry I could not be of more help.

sorry 2 hear bout what happened 2 u. If u feel in u're heart that it was right then don't let any1 tell u anythang else. I was a single teen mom and my daughter's dad denieds her, but don't let people tell u jus caz u got a kid does not mean it turns guys off. Anywho... Say if u would of keep the child it would of been hard but worth it. Or it wouldn't of been. Just don't blame u'reself on what happened. There is planty of time 2 have kids.
Good luck!!!
Trina

I think this is sad... So many people telling you you made the right choice. Obviously you don't feel that way. Otherwise why would you be so hurt.

Rape is a reason a lot of people think others should abort their babies. Regardless of what happened - this baby was a still a person and not their fathers who did the awful thing. Despite the circumstance babies are a blessing - I can understand your regret totally. I get the feeling just telling yourself you did the right thing isn't going to help much. But somehow I hope you can move on.

I found a lot of sites of woman who regret their abortions and seek emotional healing:
http://www.Afterabortion.Org/ - just steer clear of the religious part if you're not into that, otherwise the site is good.
Http://www.Silentnomoreawareness.Org/ - testimonials and links
www.Standupgirl.Com - this is my favorite site. Real testimonials and you can write becky with your own. Maybe she can point you to more healing.

Check out the links on those sites too. If I can think of more i'll put em.

And i'd just like to say to caliguy... Is having it a little rough in life better then not have lived at all? Just because of the past, can't a child grow up happy? Can't a mother still love him/her? Aren't they still human beings? I know I didn't have the perfect life, but i'm so thankful i'm here. Mothers shouldn't feel guilty for having their children when they do or how they do.

But anyway... Phillygirl, I hope you're on your way to feeling better. We all do things we regret. If that child is out there somewhere - i'm sure he/she knows you loved them, just made a hasty decision, and knows you're sorry.

Hugs!

I am sorry phillygirl. This must not have been the right decision for you. But maybe it was. Of course their is going to be mixed emotions. We have those with all big decisions. It is not your fault that you were raped.

I am sorry and I know it is not the fetus' fault, but I personally do not think I could carry a child conceived in pure hate. That is my choice to make.

you answered your own question in your post. You took your child's life because you felt hate as a result of being raped which is completely understandable.
Now you regret the choice to abort which is also completely understandable. I have no idea how you can cope with this, maybe having a child with a loving partner?

Having a child will not make anything better. If anything since she feels she made the wrong decision for her, it will make it worse. Just my opinion though.

You're right, while having a child *with a loving partner* (i stress that part) could make her feel better by allowing her to care for and nourish her child that was conceived in a loving act, it could also remind her of what could have been with the decision she is second guessing, therefore making her feel worse. Like I said, I have no idea how she can cope with this, that was all I could think of.

I sympathize with your suffering. People make mistakes. It's unfortunate that you've received so many responses which supported your decision to abort. Real healing begins when you acknowledge your guilt.

Acknowledging your guilt is the beginning - not the end. God says 'all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of god.' like a father who bails out his child when they've made a mess of things, he's paid the price for you. He's promised to forget your sins if you acknowledge the work his son did on the cross for you. You need only ask.

Secularists are gonna love that one!!!

It's alwasy great fun to read what religious nutcases believe, a good laugh on a dull day!