Oh god, the lady who takes baby pics at t
eh hospital just called to see If I wanted
hannah's baby pics before they were
forever deleted and I told her "no they
were the worst pics I had ever seen" and
then i hung up the phone and started
crying. All of the crap that happend to
me in the hospital just came tumbling back
down on my shoulders all over agian. I
don't know why I just can't seemto get
over it, but every time I think about the
birth, the hospital and all of the crazy
feelings that came after, I dissolve into
a sobbing puddle of goo. Why why did she
have to call me? I was having a fine
sunny day. Why didn't they make her a
birth certificate with her little
footprints on it? Why did they totally
destroy and ruin the very last chance I
was going to have at being a mother? they
took the whole thing from me, stupid bass
turds. I hate them! I wish I could turn
the clock nback and make everything right.
I wish I hadn't been such a failure. I
can't stand this. What the heck is wrong
with me??? Why can't I have kids like
real women do? Why does it keep getting
thrown back in my face over and over
again?
|
Bridget
Moderator
Joined: 27 Jan 2006 Posts: 10817 Location: ,
Thanks: 61
Thanked:42
Posted: 08-14-07 18:48pm
wow, heather... i'm so sorry.
i think i know some of your details, so i
do know why you're upset.
why didn't they give you the little
footprints? did you just go to a horrible
hospital? i had a fairly bad birth
experience too, so i feel for you.
you don't have to answer. it's obviously
painful for you so don't feel the need to
reply.
i'm sorry, hun.
|
sillyakchick
Supporter
Joined: 12 Apr 2007 Posts: 2688
Thanks: 5
Thanked:0
Posted: 08-15-07 10:15am
They screwed up and never made her a birth
certificate. Her photos made her look
like that fat guy from "My Name is Earl".
I had a panic attack at the hospital, and
left on the second day because the
hospital was so terrible. I am trying
really hard to get over the whole failure
thing, but it's just so hard. I think I
built up too much expectation in gving
birth "the right way" and then when it
didn't happen, my perfectionist
personality couldn't handle it or
something. I know this is my fault and I
just need to get over it, but there will
always be a part of me that will wonder
what I could have done differently to get
it right. I am sure I place too much
importance on this.
You know what's funny? I saved the blank
birth certificate for her baby book, but I
haven't put it in there yet.
Some day I will feel better....
Thanks Bridget. It helps to know that
someone understands.
