I have had enough of people and society. This is my last attempt to communicate with the rabble that never understands me. I'm sorry, I don't mean to sound mean to all people but my anger is what sustains me. Please! There must be someone out there who I can genuinely communicate with! I had a baby boy on July 10th and I have been trying so hard to keep at least one piece of my mind so my baby doesn't have a psycho for a mom.

Yeah, that's right, I'm 19 years old and a single mom. I was extremely promiscuous in high school because I didn't fit with everyone else. I have very bad social phobia and low self esteem. I wanted sex all the time and the stupid thing is I never even enjoyed it. I guess it made me feel some kind of acceptance or love. Now, the father of my baby has ignored me, avoided me since I was 6 months pregnant. I never leave the house because I am so scared I will run into those horrible people from high school. To make myself feel even more ugly, my breasts are ugly because of breastfeeding, my face breaks out more, etc. I am so ugly and stupid. Whenever I am with anybody (which is very rare) I am worrying the whole time that I must be boring and wierd to them. I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder 4 years ago, no medicine helps, and its almost like one side of me gets me in horrible situations and unexpectedly I'll switch to a different side and that makes the whole situation worse and terrifying.