Single and Pregnant Forum - 19 Pregnant And the Father Left!

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Q: 19 Pregnant And the Father Left!

asked by: x0xkimberleyx0x on August 13th, 2007

New User

Well I am 19 years old, the father is 20. We had been toegther for awhile and i thought we were in love...actually I know i am. Well we tried for 6-7 months to get pregnant and then it happened...he was there for 3 months and when i hit 12 weeks he left...W dont really have much to do with each other and that is his choice. I found out what i was having on the 9th and he came by to get the video of the U/S and he helped choose a name. I dont know what to do about him. he tells me he still cares but the feelings arent the same as they were. he is lookin at alot of prison time for things that happened before me and him got together...and i dont know if he is just scared and ran from that or not. I had to go to the hospital one night bc i though i M.Cing and he came to the hospital i know he wants to be there for the baby...but I cant let him be there if all he is gonna do is come and go...if he's gonna be there i want him to be there all the time and not and in and out father or a part time father. Someone Help. This is the love of my life and i dont know what to do.

Replies(7)

Dale123

replied on August 13th, 2007

Active User, very eHealthy

Have you got the chance to sit down and talk to him about how you feel and find out exactly how he feels? Could he be scared? Why is he going to prison?

x0xkimberleyx0x

replied on August 13th, 2007

New User

I have tried to he just tells me there is nothing to talk about that his feelings have changed...I am also bipolar and he told me he could not handle my mood swings...bc the Doctors took me off my meds bc the pregnancy...so i dont now what to do...I can tell he still cares it shows everytime he looks at me or everytime I talk to him...i miss him so much i just the family that we planned back!

kissofangel20

replied on August 13th, 2007

Experienced User

You can't make somebody love you hun. And you have to agree.....not a whole lot of people can deal when in a relationship where a partner has bi-polar. It does sound like he has a whole lot to deal with on his own and that he does want to be there for this baby. You are just going to have to be happy with the fact that he even wants to be there for his child not a lot of other guys his age can say the same thing. He is trying to be involed and you should let him. Its not what you had hoped and planned for hun I'm sorry. But I have faith that you'll find someone who will love all of you including your child. Good luck!

x0xkimberleyx0x

replied on August 13th, 2007

New User

I know he cares...but I'm not sure if he cares enough...and I want him to be here for the baby but I'm not going tolet him be a part time dad...he an be there whenever the baby needs him and hlp out with stiff like diapers and everything or he can bounce...I had a mom that never wanted to be there and she would be in and out of my life and I am not going to let my baby have a dad like that!

kissofangel20

replied on August 13th, 2007

Experienced User

that may not be what you want hun, but it is what he is willing to do right now. You can't change that and if you start pushing him to do what you want you may end up pushing him too far to where he wants nothing to do with this baby at all. I know you don't want your child to grow up not having a father at all right? Being a part-time father is way better than not being a father at all. Your just going to have to give him time to figure things out on his own without you pushing him.. From your own words he is having to deal with a lot of things right now and so do you. Take care.

izzysue

replied on August 17th, 2007

New User

Hey hang in there.
I just went through the same thing. I moved away from my family and then he left me at 3 months as well. Everybody tell me i'm wrong after we broke up he left and moved 1000 miles away. I was all by myself in and out of the hospital. Every body tell me I'm wrong becuase after he did that I found out he was back with his ex and he didn't even give my daughter a chance. I know how you feel my little girl is now 5 months old and I don't want him in and out of her life. Plus i don't want him to get her every other weekend and for my daughter to be with him and his girlfriend no way in hell. I'm so attached to her. The only thing I can tell you is that when you see your baby you are not going to care as much. Your going to be so busy. Also maybe he don't want to get attached to the baby if he as to go to jail. Once he see the baby I think thing will change for you. Mine didn't even give my daughter and I a chance. Good luck and if you need to talk

ciaralynn7

replied on September 12th, 2007

New User

I am going through the EXACT same thing right now. Its hard. I really dont know what to do either. i sitll love him and he is so off and on i dont know what to do!

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