19 Pregnant And the Father Left! Posted: 08-13-07 17:30pm
Well I am 19 years old, the father is 20.
We had been toegther for awhile and i
thought we were in love...actually I know
i am. Well we tried for 6-7 months to get
pregnant and then it happened...he was
there for 3 months and when i hit 12 weeks
he left...W dont really have much to do
with each other and that is his choice. I
found out what i was having on the 9th and
he came by to get the video of the U/S and
he helped choose a name. I dont know what
to do about him. he tells me he still
cares but the feelings arent the same as
they were. he is lookin at alot of prison
time for things that happened before me
and him got together...and i dont know if
he is just scared and ran from that or
not. I had to go to the hospital one night
bc i though i M.Cing and he came to the
hospital i know he wants to be there for
the baby...but I cant let him be there if
all he is gonna do is come and go...if
he's gonna be there i want him to be there
all the time and not and in and out father
or a part time father. Someone Help. This
is the love of my life and i dont know
what to do.
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Dale123
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Jul 2007 Posts: 697 Location: Barrie, On Canada
Posted: 08-13-07 17:40pm
Have you got the chance to sit down and
talk to him about how you feel and find
out exactly how he feels? Could he be
scared? Why is he going to prison?
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x0xkimberleyx0x
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Aug 2007 Posts: 4 Location: Alabama
Posted: 08-13-07 17:46pm
I have tried to he just tells me there is
nothing to talk about that his feelings
have changed...I am also bipolar and he
told me he could not handle my mood
swings...bc the Doctors took me off my
meds bc the pregnancy...so i dont now what
to do...I can tell he still cares it shows
everytime he looks at me or everytime I
talk to him...i miss him so much i just
the family that we planned back!
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kissofangel20
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 07 May 2006 Posts: 248 Location: ,
Posted: 08-13-07 19:49pm
You can't make somebody love you hun. And
you have to agree.....not a whole lot of
people can deal when in a relationship
where a partner has bi-polar. It does
sound like he has a whole lot to deal with
on his own and that he does want to be
there for this baby. You are just going
to have to be happy with the fact that he
even wants to be there for his child not a
lot of other guys his age can say the same
thing. He is trying to be involed and you
should let him. Its not what you had
hoped and planned for hun I'm sorry. But I
have faith that you'll find someone who
will love all of you including your child.
Good luck!
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x0xkimberleyx0x
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Aug 2007 Posts: 4 Location: Alabama
Posted: 08-13-07 19:55pm
I know he cares...but I'm not sure if he
cares enough...and I want him to be here
for the baby but I'm not going tolet him
be a part time dad...he an be there
whenever the baby needs him and hlp out
with stiff like diapers and everything or
he can bounce...I had a mom that never
wanted to be there and she would be in and
out of my life and I am not going to let
my baby have a dad like that!
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kissofangel20
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 07 May 2006 Posts: 248 Location: ,
Posted: 08-13-07 20:03pm
that may not be what you want hun, but it
is what he is willing to do right now.
You can't change that and if you start
pushing him to do what you want you may
end up pushing him too far to where he
wants nothing to do with this baby at all.
I know you don't want your child to grow
up not having a father at all right?
Being a part-time father is way better
than not being a father at all. Your just
going to have to give him time to figure
things out on his own without you pushing
him.. From your own words he is having
to deal with a lot of things right now and
so do you. Take care.
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izzysue
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Aug 2007 Posts: 21 Location: Long Island, N.Y US
Posted: 08-17-07 03:09am
Hey hang in there.
I just went through the same thing. I
moved away from my family and then he left
me at 3 months as well. Everybody tell me
i'm wrong after we broke up he left and
moved 1000 miles away. I was all by myself
in and out of the hospital. Every body
tell me I'm wrong becuase after he did
that I found out he was back with his ex
and he didn't even give my daughter a
chance. I know how you feel my little girl
is now 5 months old and I don't want him
in and out of her life. Plus i don't want
him to get her every other weekend and for
my daughter to be with him and his
girlfriend no way in hell. I'm so attached
to her. The only thing I can tell you is
that when you see your baby you are not
going to care as much. Your going to be so
busy. Also maybe he don't want to get
attached to the baby if he as to go to
jail. Once he see the baby I think thing
will change for you. Mine didn't even give
my daughter and I a chance. Good luck and
if you need to talk
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ciaralynn7
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 08 Sep 2007 Posts: 10 Location: ,
Posted: 09-12-07 00:45am
I am going through the EXACT same thing
right now. Its hard. I really dont know
what to do either. i sitll love him and he
is so off and on i dont know what to do!
