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19 Pregnant And the Father Left!

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Well I am 19 years old, the father is 20. We had been toegther for awhile and i thought we were in love...actually I know i am. Well we tried for 6-7 months to get pregnant and then it happened...he was there for 3 months and when i hit 12 weeks he left...W dont really have much to do with each other and that is his choice. I found out what i was having on the 9th and he came by to get the video of the U/S and he helped choose a name. I dont know what to do about him. he tells me he still cares but the feelings arent the same as they were. he is lookin at alot of prison time for things that happened before me and him got together...and i dont know if he is just scared and ran from that or not. I had to go to the hospital one night bc i though i M.Cing and he came to the hospital i know he wants to be there for the baby...but I cant let him be there if all he is gonna do is come and go...if he's gonna be there i want him to be there all the time and not and in and out father or a part time father. Someone Help. This is the love of my life and i dont know what to do.
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replied August 13th, 2007
Active User, very eHealthy
Have you got the chance to sit down and talk to him about how you feel and find out exactly how he feels? Could he be scared? Why is he going to prison?
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replied August 13th, 2007
I have tried to he just tells me there is nothing to talk about that his feelings have changed...I am also bipolar and he told me he could not handle my mood swings...bc the Doctors took me off my meds bc the pregnancy...so i dont now what to do...I can tell he still cares it shows everytime he looks at me or everytime I talk to him...i miss him so much i just the family that we planned back!
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replied August 13th, 2007
Experienced User
You can't make somebody love you hun. And you have to agree.....not a whole lot of people can deal when in a relationship where a partner has bi-polar. It does sound like he has a whole lot to deal with on his own and that he does want to be there for this baby. You are just going to have to be happy with the fact that he even wants to be there for his child not a lot of other guys his age can say the same thing. He is trying to be involed and you should let him. Its not what you had hoped and planned for hun I'm sorry. But I have faith that you'll find someone who will love all of you including your child. Good luck!
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replied August 13th, 2007
I know he cares...but I'm not sure if he cares enough...and I want him to be here for the baby but I'm not going tolet him be a part time dad...he an be there whenever the baby needs him and hlp out with stiff like diapers and everything or he can bounce...I had a mom that never wanted to be there and she would be in and out of my life and I am not going to let my baby have a dad like that!
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replied August 13th, 2007
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that may not be what you want hun, but it is what he is willing to do right now. You can't change that and if you start pushing him to do what you want you may end up pushing him too far to where he wants nothing to do with this baby at all. I know you don't want your child to grow up not having a father at all right? Being a part-time father is way better than not being a father at all. Your just going to have to give him time to figure things out on his own without you pushing him.. From your own words he is having to deal with a lot of things right now and so do you. Take care.
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replied August 17th, 2007
Hey hang in there.
I just went through the same thing. I moved away from my family and then he left me at 3 months as well. Everybody tell me i'm wrong after we broke up he left and moved 1000 miles away. I was all by myself in and out of the hospital. Every body tell me I'm wrong becuase after he did that I found out he was back with his ex and he didn't even give my daughter a chance. I know how you feel my little girl is now 5 months old and I don't want him in and out of her life. Plus i don't want him to get her every other weekend and for my daughter to be with him and his girlfriend no way in hell. I'm so attached to her. The only thing I can tell you is that when you see your baby you are not going to care as much. Your going to be so busy. Also maybe he don't want to get attached to the baby if he as to go to jail. Once he see the baby I think thing will change for you. Mine didn't even give my daughter and I a chance. Good luck and if you need to talk
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replied September 12th, 2007
I am going through the EXACT same thing right now. Its hard. I really dont know what to do either. i sitll love him and he is so off and on i dont know what to do!
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replied January 30th, 2012
pregnant and feeling alone
my boyfriend and i have been together since i was 17, a total of almost 4 years. we've had our ups and downs but ever since we had to move in with my parents 2 months ago our relationship has become really strenuous.
then i found out i was pregnant about 2 weeks ago. besides the initial shock we were both excited and knew that we wanted to keep it, even if we arent in the best financial position to be having it right now. but lately ive been so tired and emotional, just from being pregnant, and it seems like we argue all the time, and he always flies off the handle and yells and slams doors and then comes back after smoking a bowl (which he knows i would love to be doing right now if i weren't pregnant) and tells me how sorry he is and says he knows hes an ahole. but of course nothing really changes and it happens again in a matter of days. and often times everyone in the house can hear all our drama and its really embarrassing to say the least...
but tonight he just decided he was losing his mind being with me all the time and that he needs a 'break' for a couple of days. so i'm sitting here completely alone for the first time in a long time, and on top of that im pregnant. i dont know if things could get much shittier for me right now. i know he cares, but it's like if one of us gets upset it snowballs and he cant control his emotions enough to be here when i'm hormonal and just need his support. its so exhausting. at this point i dont know whats in our future if we cant learn to communicate better.tonight he's just sleeping at his moms but idk how long he plans on staying there. i feel so alone. i dont know how he doesnt realize what kind of stress hes putting me under right now just leaving when my body and life is going through so many changes. i guess ultimately he did it to clear his head and i have to respect that but i feel like if i was in his shoes even if i was stressed out i wouldnt be handling it like this.
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