Just someone with a drinking problem?.... Wazzy, you left him because of his drinking. And you are asking if we think he can just quit cold turkey. And in almost the same breath you ask if he can learn to drink responsibly at some point in the future.

Don’t answer this as yourself, pretend you are a stranger reading your post for the first time, not as someone in love with this guy, what would you make of it? Every line in your post talks about a life punctuated with excessive use of alcohol.

Double check with your dad, tell him the whole story, all of it. Leave nothing out. See if he still gives this guy the “heavy drinker” label.

I would wish you good luck, but in reality, luck has nothing to do with it.
Richard

Point taken , your sir are very good at what you do and in retrospect I must of just wanted to connect with you and obviously not very well .let me try again .......
I am a forty six year old woman with no drug habits or abuses trying to make a life with an alcoholic who has stopped drinking to give our relationship a chance we are to gether all the time and unless he is at work and some one is suppling him for free he has stopped drinking beer .........I keep lots of lemonade and other drinks made up and ready to go these he drinks now .....so can you tell me what his success rate might be if his life becomes one where he is appreciated and loved and has the devotion of a good woman who only wants him to enjoy a healthier lifestyle and get back his joy in living?I know I am the type of person who would rather suffer than lose and while I enjoy the break from his drink I know it could all end for little or no reason by his choice. but that bridge is not one I have to cross yet ...could ask you for insight top give myself a headsup in the mind of an alcoholic to give me an edge for success in our relationship ? would you be so kind as to help me in that endeaver sir? truth is always better and you give it full flavor no holding back ....I dont believe I can do this on a sugar coated version and would rather hear it from one who knows and is not afraid to tell it.
Okay Richard does this seem more honest an attempt to communicate ? thanbk you robin/wazzywoman

Robin… if I offended you I am truly sorry. That was not my intention. I only wanted to help. Sometimes I am a bit caustic, it is a flaw in my character.

My wife is much like you. She doesn’t drink, I don’t think she has had 3 drinks in the last year, and she has never done an illegal drug in her life. And as odd as this sounds, she seems quite happy.

She is what we in AA call an earth person. Someone quite different than us. She doesn’t drink because when she has two drinks, she doesn’t like the feeling. She tells me she feels like she is loosing control, and she just stops.

I on the other hand, drank like a fish. And I have gotten strung out on just about every class of illegal drug out there. I don’t think like she does. Not even close. After a few drinks, I never thought I was loosing control. I thought I was getting control. An absolutely 180º difference in thinking.

Alcohol can’t do anything TO me (turn me into a drunken looser) unless it does something FOR me first. And what it does FOR me that it doesn’t do for my wife, is to turn this world from a drab colorless existence into a Technicolor wonderland.

This world didn’t start out drab,. When I was a kid, it looked just fine. But I found alcohol, and after a drink or two, everything got so much better. I became more complete and confident, and everybody else became smaller and less of a threat. Who wouldn’t go back to something that did all that?

And that’s just what I did. And after a long enough period of doing just that, the world as it truly is got more and more unattractive and a good buzz got more attractive. I was on the road to becoming a full blown alcoholic.

But that is just my story. I don’t know your boyfriend from Adam, he may never touch another drink for the rest of his life. Maybe your daddy is right that he just hit a rough spot and everything is going to be fine from here on out. I hope so.

The love of a good woman is powerful medicine.

If your boyfriend is just a guy who likes a few brews with the boys after work, you and he are home free.

But if he is one of us…. He will understand the “drab colorless existence into a Technicolor wonderland” metaphor I used. And if he does nothing but just stop drinking, every day that goes by without the ease and comfort of a drink or two will be like a prison sentence to him. He will not be happy in his sobriety, and in all probability, it won’t last.

But, if he is one of us, his chances go way, way up if he gets into a recovery program, any recovery program. The worse thing he can do is to try to battle this thing solo. Trying to play it John Wayne style, a rough, tough guy who doesn’t need any help is the hardest way to get sober that I know about. We stay sober together, we go back out alone, all by ourselves.

Here is my suggestion for you. Do everything you are doing now, good diet, etc. it’s all a good idea. But be ready to play the tough love card if he comes home drunk. Don’t protect him from the weight of the consequences of the choices he makes.

Make a set of rules and stick to them. If he can’t come in the house drunk, he can’t come in the house drunk. Don’t cover for him at work, don’t post bail for him. You fill in the rest.

Oh, one parting thought, you said your father was involved in AlAnon, look into it yourself. It is populated with women just like you, women who love guys that drink too much.

Again, sorry for the length, but you are asking the right questions and deserve answers to them.

Richard

your very good at this and it was not your fault I didn't get my right questions out first .
I have the number and the address and the alanon is my next option to explore ...him getting back into AA is up to him ...I am gonna mention it but not pushing it...I am glad for that one ray of hope I got out of you for us ....and the truth that it may well be short lived .... earth person hmmm yeah I am too ...drink takes my balance away it puts me under an ocean and adds wieght to my efforts to move and the next day my body wants to disown me and I want to let it ........I just never felt better with the drink of anykind and could always do with less .....I am subjected to second hand smoke but thats it ......thank you again this last post from you was awsome . appreciate it tons.wazzywoman

Can an alcoholic quit drinking cold turkey without medical consequences?

For the past 7 months I've gone in and out of drinking heavily. A few months of a 12-pack of beer 4-5 nights a week. A few months of drinking 1 twelve pack a week, back to drinking heavily the 12 pack 3-4 times a week. AND of course, now cocaine has now entered the picture.

Forget the addiction/alcholic issues. And I realize that no one here is an expert and I need to get this answered by my physician/addiction specialist....I'm just curious....at what point do we physically need medicall intervention to get alcohol out of our system. I'm not willing to risk my health so I will do what the professionals in my life suggest but until I do that (no lectures, I know the realities) does anyone know, for the average human being, how risky is it to try and go cold turkey on your own. I'm not asking if it's possible to quit on your own.....I know that answer....I'm only interested in the clinical answer.

Hopefully, I've expressed my question clearly and someone will have some info. I'll post the addiction/alcoholic issues and more about me later.

Facts, maam, just the facts.

Thanks

Stella ,
People quit drinking cold turkey everyday. There may be some withdrawal symptoms and they make you uncomfortable for a few days, but it because your body is re adjusting to the removal of the poison that you have put into your body.

We have all heard the saying when ordering a drink, "What's your poison?" That is because that is what alcohol essentially is...poison. It is organic matter such as grapes, barley, potatoes, rice etc., that is past rotten. It is fermented.

The real health risk is to continue drinking, not quitting drinking.

If you get to the point where you need medical intervention to quit drinking, you will know it. You won't need to ask.

Stevie Ray Vaughn was a hard core alcoholic that put cocaine into his drinks. He pratcied that ritual for years and years. He quit all drugs (except smoking), because one day he was on his way to get his "morning drink" and started throwing up blood. He had to be taken to a hospital.

That is definately the point where someone needs medical help.

From the sounds of it, I don't think that you're any where near that point. This is the good news, for you have the chance to arrest this addiction before it gets way out of control.


Eric