Self Injury Forum - self injury - Do Other Teenagers Feel This Way ?

Mental Health > Self Injury Forum > self injury - Do Other Teenagers Feel This Way ?

Q: self injury - Do Other Teenagers Feel This Way ?

asked by: Shire on August 12th, 2007

New User

I hate being so winy, but I need to ask so bear with me.

I wanted help with my problem so I looked up 'self injury' on the internet. There was no shortage of sites and I've been to everyone I could find. It's all the same, though. Kids burn, cut, and generally harm themselves because they feel 'numb' or left out or depressed. They dress differently because they want attention, would like someone to notice and care; but my problem is not like that at all.

It started about three years ago when I did something wrong. I'll never remember what it was, but I felt bad. It was one of those things where you apologize but that doesn't take it back. It still happened. I wanted to punish myself for being such a jerk, so I took a pin and scratched myself over and over. It hurt, and that made me feel better. It canceled out what I had done.
Ever since then when I mess up, hurt someone's feelings or disappoint my parents I hurt, then I feel fine. I'd NEVER cut myself because that would leave scars. I don't need to punish myself for life, just once. Besides, someone might find out then. I haven't found anything like this on the internet and am wondering if I'm alone in this.

I've tried being friends with emo groups to not feel alone and stuff but they freak me out because they cut for reasons I don't get. They don't do anything wrong and they just cut and cut. They talk about death and creepy things like that. It's just not right! But am I one of them? I don't want to be! I love my life!

I'm a happy happy person. I don't hate myself except when I mess up, but after I hurt I'm fine and never think of it again.

This forum is the only time I've spoke about it. I'm scared to even put it up here. Is this bad if it makes me feel better? I'm not hurting anyone by doing this. They don't even know. They'll never know.

Replies(7)

young Girl

replied on August 12th, 2007

Especially eHealthy

hey hun
im sure ots of teenagers and older people even feel this way Sad

if you wanna talk then feel free to PM me ok? ill be on all night lol

Confused_Stressed

replied on August 15th, 2007

Experienced User

Re: Self Injury - Do Other Teenagers Feel This Way ?

Well,

Me personally(god im a messed up person, just realizing this lol) I went through that. It started like when I was 14. I was kind of upset. My parents got mad at me, I kind of had low self esteem and well I was happy for the most part and then there was the "down times"

I would screw up in school, i made my bf mad, like seriously things that normally people blow off. I was going through really bad mood swings and i just felt horrible for a lot of things and eventually I found ways to make myself feel better. Im too much of a chicken to physically take a knife to my skin....Ive got issues but Im not that stupid. I used to scratch, basically till I bled. I do have scars bc well Idk, they are faint and no1 can see them ne more, but I can. I guess I did it bc it was an outlet. I was hurting so I felt better. Some how the pain made everything feel better. I know while I did it I would cry basically until the pain either was so bad or I just went kind of numb from it. Basically I would hurt myself and feel better. SO newho Ive stopped all that now... Im just sharin n letting you know Ive been there. I do have light scars, but no matter if anyone else can see them, I can and its a place I dont want to go back to. Life moves on no matter what you do....make your parents/friends/bf mad life goes on adn ppl do forget about the f you got on a test!

Need to chat just OM

keys101

replied on September 26th, 2007

Experienced User

honey you're not like those kids- they're a fad and they'll go away like tie-dye spandex and disco music. It seems like you just feel like you need to make ammends for what you've done and feel guilty about, which is normal, but you shouldnt hurt yourself to make it better, obviously. I used to do the same exact thing, and even though i dont hurt myself anymore, i still feel that unquenchable guilt after i wrong somebody. So, if I've apologized multiple times, they say it's ok and i still feel like it's not, instead of reacting right away, i wait a couple days. Give myself time to breathe and sort it all out logically. I try to remember that it's all ok if they say so, and they wouldnt lie to me. and if after a while i still feel guilty, I'll go back to them and explain the situation: "Listen, I know you said it was fine but I really feel horrible about disapointing, hurting, whatever-ing you. i really need to know- be honest- if you are still hurting because of me. If I am i really need to know so don't worry about hurting my feelings." Most of the time they're not mad and we have a nice little bonding moment and if they're still mad I feel a little better because i know, and now i have the chance to talk to them about it and straighten it out.
sorry for writing a novel there, heh.

uniqueness

replied on November 12th, 2007

New User

hi your not alone many people do it for reasons like yours you are NOT an emo hey do it for fun and attention and just as a thing, dont try to fit in just be with the people you like even if they are different

Ivy25

replied on November 12th, 2007

New User

I understand that in your past you can't take something back that you did. But, hurting yourself isn't right. It sure doesnt solve the problems, they just hang around and then boom guilt turns in. You are right of the fact that cutting yourself leaves scars. I think you should find a new way to take out what you have done wrong. Talk to someone you can trust, someone you've known for a while and have come to love. Your not alone in this, although it may seem like you are. Do you have actual friends? (not to be rude). First, let's define EMO ok? Emo may be marked as EMOTIONAL. Well, EMO is a form of a poser. Sure they try to be different.. but they are just trying to be a chain of goth. Goth is real EMO is not. EMO people as you say "hate their lives" and "want to die" well if they wanted to die they would have killed themselves already! Don't you agree? If you don't want to be one of them and don't want to hang out with them.. DONT! You control your actions and decisions. Messing up is ok. YOU ARE HUMAN! It's ok. Please just tell someone and dont ever hurt yourself again..

ciceron

replied on November 18th, 2007

New User

First of all you are not doing that because of something you don't remember. Suffering is one of those which that push you in front. You are not a freak (remember that). You might need something else? Sport, going away from something(I don't know your life), meet people, make photos.... Each time you want to injure yourself take a breath, open the door and go for a walk or for a run. I know it's not easy but try it at least twice.
love you from France.
Cheers
Arnaud

shawndra

replied on April 9th, 2009

New User

i definitely fill u

im 13 and my life was pretty good... wen i was 9 i was rapped and i tore me up but i ddnt let my mom no...my family isnt alwayz the most understanding and they made me fill worthless...they wood eventually apologize but the pain was still there...my parents are kind of racist and wen they found out about me dating someone out of my race they freakd and slandered me...i finally went over the edge and started cutting myself...ive nevr been one for pain but it seemed to take the pain away like i was punishing myself 4 being so messd up. its nt something im proud of but its still there. even now i sometimes think about doing it again but its getting btr and im starting 2 fill happier... i moved out of my momz house and i transfered schools so that i could start over.

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