self injury - Do Other Teenagers Feel This Way ? Posted: 08-12-07 23:27pm
I hate being so winy, but I need to ask so
bear with me.
I wanted help with my problem so I looked
up 'self injury' on the internet. There
was no shortage of sites and I've been to
everyone I could find. It's all the same,
though. Kids burn, cut, and generally harm
themselves because they feel 'numb' or
left out or depressed. They dress
differently because they want attention,
would like someone to notice and care; but
my problem is not like that at all.
It started about three years ago when I
did something wrong. I'll never remember
what it was, but I felt bad. It was one of
those things where you apologize but that
doesn't take it back. It still happened. I
wanted to punish myself for being such a
jerk, so I took a pin and scratched myself
over and over. It hurt, and that made me
feel better. It canceled out what I had
done.
Ever since then when I mess up, hurt
someone's feelings or disappoint my
parents I hurt, then I feel fine. I'd
NEVER cut myself because that would leave
scars. I don't need to punish myself for
life, just once. Besides, someone might
find out then. I haven't found anything
like this on the internet and am wondering
if I'm alone in this.
I've tried being friends with emo groups
to not feel alone and stuff but they freak
me out because they cut for reasons I
don't get. They don't do anything wrong
and they just cut and cut. They talk about
death and creepy things like that. It's
just not right! But am I one of them? I
don't want to be! I love my life!
I'm a happy happy person. I don't hate
myself except when I mess up, but after I
hurt I'm fine and never think of it
again.
This forum is the only time I've spoke
about it. I'm scared to even put it up
here. Is this bad if it makes me feel
better? I'm not hurting anyone by doing
this. They don't even know. They'll never
know.
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young Girl
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Jun 2007 Posts: 13932 Location: everythings better in, texas USA
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
Posted: 08-12-07 23:35pm
hey hun
im sure ots of teenagers and older people
even feel this way
if you wanna talk then feel free to PM me
ok? ill be on all night lol
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Confused_Stressed
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 10 Aug 2007 Posts: 62 Location: Spokane, wa USA
Re: Self Injury - Do Other Teenagers Feel This Way ? Posted: 08-15-07 23:28pm
Well,
Me personally(god im a messed up person,
just realizing this lol) I went through
that. It started like when I was 14. I
was kind of upset. My parents got mad at
me, I kind of had low self esteem and well
I was happy for the most part and then
there was the "down times"
I would screw up in school, i made my bf
mad, like seriously things that normally
people blow off. I was going through
really bad mood swings and i just felt
horrible for a lot of things and
eventually I found ways to make myself
feel better. Im too much of a chicken to
physically take a knife to my skin....Ive
got issues but Im not that stupid. I used
to scratch, basically till I bled. I do
have scars bc well Idk, they are faint and
no1 can see them ne more, but I can. I
guess I did it bc it was an outlet. I was
hurting so I felt better. Some how the
pain made everything feel better. I know
while I did it I would cry basically until
the pain either was so bad or I just went
kind of numb from it. Basically I would
hurt myself and feel better. SO newho Ive
stopped all that now... Im just sharin n
letting you know Ive been there. I do have
light scars, but no matter if anyone else
can see them, I can and its a place I dont
want to go back to. Life moves on no
matter what you do....make your
parents/friends/bf mad life goes on adn
ppl do forget about the f you got on a
test!
Need to chat just OM
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keys101
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Sep 2007 Posts: 87 Location: , USA
Posted: 09-26-07 09:30am
honey you're not like those kids- they're
a fad and they'll go away like tie-dye
spandex and disco music. It seems like you
just feel like you need to make ammends
for what you've done and feel guilty
about, which is normal, but you shouldnt
hurt yourself to make it better,
obviously. I used to do the same exact
thing, and even though i dont hurt myself
anymore, i still feel that unquenchable
guilt after i wrong somebody. So, if I've
apologized multiple times, they say it's
ok and i still feel like it's not, instead
of reacting right away, i wait a couple
days. Give myself time to breathe and sort
it all out logically. I try to remember
that it's all ok if they say so, and they
wouldnt lie to me. and if after a while i
still feel guilty, I'll go back to them
and explain the situation: "Listen, I know
you said it was fine but I really feel
horrible about disapointing, hurting,
whatever-ing you. i really need to know-
be honest- if you are still hurting
because of me. If I am i really need to
know so don't worry about hurting my
feelings." Most of the time they're not
mad and we have a nice little bonding
moment and if they're still mad I feel a
little better because i know, and now i
have the chance to talk to them about it
and straighten it out.
sorry for writing a novel there, heh.
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uniqueness
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 Nov 2007 Posts: 2 Location: england, england
Posted: 11-12-07 17:28pm
hi your not alone many people do it for
reasons like yours you are NOT an emo hey
do it for fun and attention and just as a
thing, dont try to fit in just be with the
people you like even if they are different
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Ivy25
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 07 Nov 2007 Posts: 46 Location: Harrisburg, Pa USA
Posted: 11-12-07 17:54pm
I understand that in your past you can't
take something back that you did. But,
hurting yourself isn't right. It sure
doesnt solve the problems, they just hang
around and then boom guilt turns in. You
are right of the fact that cutting
yourself leaves scars. I think you should
find a new way to take out what you have
done wrong. Talk to someone you can trust,
someone you've known for a while and have
come to love. Your not alone in this,
although it may seem like you are. Do you
have actual friends? (not to be rude).
First, let's define EMO ok? Emo may be
marked as EMOTIONAL. Well, EMO is a form
of a poser. Sure they try to be
different.. but they are just trying to be
a chain of goth. Goth is real EMO is not.
EMO people as you say "hate their lives"
and "want to die" well if they wanted to
die they would have killed themselves
already! Don't you agree? If you don't
want to be one of them and don't want to
hang out with them.. DONT! You control
your actions and decisions. Messing up is
ok. YOU ARE HUMAN! It's ok. Please just
tell someone and dont ever hurt yourself
again..
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ciceron
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 16 Nov 2007 Posts: 8
Hi Posted: 11-18-07 11:55am
First of all you are not doing that
because of something you don't remember.
Suffering is one of those which that push
you in front. You are not a freak
(remember that). You might need something
else? Sport, going away from something(I
don't know your life), meet people, make
photos.... Each time you want to injure
yourself take a breath, open the door and
go for a walk or for a run. I know it's
not easy but try it at least twice.
love you from France.
Cheers
Arnaud
