Joined: 12 Aug 2007 Posts: 1 Location: ~ By the Sea ~
Living With Anxiety W/ a Mom Who Doesn't Understand Posted: 08-12-07 21:29pm
Hello All,
My name's Erin and I'm new here. I live
with both depression and anxiety. I suffer
from anxiety/panic attacks as well. It
seems I have them more and more now. Like
tonight for instance -- my mom and I got
in a fight about my "always taking pills"
(they're prescription medications, not
illegal drugs) Oh you just go take a xanax
why don't you -- my mother says. I just
cannot get through to her -- and it
exhausts me to talk about what it's like
to live day in and day out with a mental
illness. She thinks it's all just
lollipops and sunshine. That it's just all
in my head and not something serious. That
I make it up. I'm so mad. So upset.
I also fight my demons regarding suicide.
I feel suicidal as often as several times
a week and then tonight for instance. I
feel very tempted to cut my wrists or down
some of my pills -- just to finally feel
at peace. I also live with chronic nerve
pain and it's debilitating at times. Like
now. Ugh.
My mom if I did end my life would most
likely still see it as "this is her way at
getting back at me." Real sick. She's a
wonderful mom -- when it comes to my
mental illness (depression and anxiety)
she doesn't take me seriously and more or
less says I'm just making this all up to
get attention -- I wasn't really suicidal
-- I just wanted to get back at her. She
also says to me "you wouldn't have enough
guts to actually do such a thing -- no
follow through." I don't get this or her
when she's like this.
Thanks for listening. She doesn't
understand that I more or less feel like I
am having a heart attack when in actuality
I'm having a full blown anxiety attack. I
can't stand my mom when she's this
insensitive. She said well I think we
should see your therapist together to get
you straight ... I don't know I more or
less think I'd leave and walk out on the
session.
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SW33T3STSIN24
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 14 Aug 2007 Posts: 2 Location: NEW JERSEY
Panick Attacks Posted: 08-14-07 12:46pm
hey erin omg i know where you come
from...my mom says its all in my head
aswell even though she sometimes tries to
understand but no one can understand
unless their in ur shoes..my panic attacks
always have me thinking im going to
die..everyday i live like its my last...i
hate seeing my family because i think its
the last time i will see them..i always
want to be home, i dont want to leave my
house or be too far because ill get
scared..on top of my panic attacks i do
have 2 herniated disks which cause
horrible pains down my arms and its the
worst because just panic attacks alone
give u thaty pain and numbness down ur
left arm..i swear im going to get a heart
attack and the fact im over weight w/ high
blood pressu doesnt help even though i
have managed to loose 20 pds already as im
writing this i feel a choking
sensation...but i guess its my panic
attacks i have had so many heart tests
sone everything comes back normal..and its
unbelievable how panic attacks can do this
to u...im on xanax and they dont help.
reading these post calm me down a bit
knowing other people have the same
symptoms i do. even though i wish they
would just go away.
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Hypathia
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 14 Aug 2007 Posts: 3 Location: ~ By the Sea ~
Posted: 08-14-07 13:20pm
Thank you for your kind words. Yes, I even
thought of checking myself into "The
Pavillion" for a few days -- just to get
some breathing room and distance from my
mother. You see, we live together -- so at
times it get's tenuous.
I could perhaps ask if I could stay with a
friend for a couple days. I'll get some
breathing room this weekend though b/c my
mother is going to NY to empty out my
Gram's house with my brother. My gram is
now in a nursing home up here by us and
her house has been sold. ~
Although I tell you sometimes it's like
night and day -- everyone goes to sleep --
get up the next morning and wallah -- it's
as if 'nothing's' happened. Hmmmm. So I've
been taking more xanax the past few
evenings. I'm also on some other heavy
medications and so at least I can sleep.
Thanks for listening
|
SW33T3STSIN24
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 14 Aug 2007 Posts: 2 Location: NEW JERSEY
Posted: 08-14-07 13:27pm
at least u can sleep...i cant im up till 3
am
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Hypathia
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 14 Aug 2007 Posts: 3 Location: ~ By the Sea ~
Posted: 08-14-07 13:37pm
Some nights are like that for me.... I
fell asleep on the couch at around 10 and
woke up at 11:30 -- I was hungry so I had
a small snack and glass of water. Then was
wide awake so I read until 2am -- yes, I
can sympathize some nights I am up till 3
with insomnia -- as I live with it on top
of everything else.. while still somehow
keeping a positive mindset -- when I can.
Some days I cannot cope and also get PTSD
flashbacks and get triggered by things --
whether it be on television, a movie I'm
watching, or something my mom's said
that's pushed my buttons.
I also get terrible anxiety attacks
because of the PTSD as well ... nightmares
etc. Yuck.
|
sandyallen
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Feb 2004 Posts: 4580
Posted: 08-14-07 13:54pm
Can you talk to your dr and try to get
something for your anxiety/ depression. I
have to deal with pain everyday of my life
and I try to not allow people to get to
me, try to keep your space from those that
do. I know that I cannot live alone
because I fall and have seizures which my
husband is very understanding about this.
I used to take meds for my anxiety and
stress and they helped for some time but I
quit them and taught myself self control.
Have you tried EFT and for those who have
a PTSD you might think of trying EMDR,
just try doing some research on them. All
the best to you and know that I am here
for you!
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Hypathia
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 14 Aug 2007 Posts: 3 Location: ~ By the Sea ~
Posted: 08-14-07 22:22pm
Hello Sandy and everyone --
I am taking something for my depression
and have something I can take as needed
for my anxiety. My PC Dr. (primary care)
has referred me to the psychiatrist in
town -- for an evaluation and to hand over
the management of my psychopharmacological
care ... seeing as how I've en quote been
on and tried every class of SSRI's etc and
then tried WB and that was horrible for
me. What is EFT? I am familiar with EMDR
I'm not sure if my psychologist is
licensed in that practice.
Just feeling very anxious lately and
wondering if my anxiety medication is
working -- other than to put me to sleep.
Not so helpful during the day. I'm not
working at present but when I do head back
-- I'll need have something that will ease
my anxiety attacks when I can't sooth
myself first.
Oy. Thank you for listening.
My anxiety's gotten so bad that I've
seriously thought about going in-patient
for a couple of days. I always usually get
to the door and then get scared that I'll
be locked away in my room and not able to
walk around even. I'm very claustrophobic.
Has anyone with anxiety ever been in
patient for treatment? If so may I ask how
was it for you and what was the experience
like, if you don't mind. I don't need the
down to the last drop details -- just
asking for a person that's never been.
|
leah345
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Dec 2007 Posts: 3
Posted: 12-13-07 19:12pm
Hello Hypathia,
I am wondering if you could help me. I
have been told I suffer from anxiety/panic
attacks but am still concerned that I
could be suffering from PTSD. Could you
please explain what it is in more detail
or tell me what could trigger it off?? I
am wondering if a build-up of stress, a
bereavement in the family or if something
happened to yourself could start off PTSD.
For example, my gran recently passed away
and I was very upset, didn't like to talk
about it much and bottled up my feelings.
Not long after I nearly blacked out
because I wasn't well and ever since then
have been very afraid of dying and
extremely aware that it could happen to me
at anytime. I have been diagnosed by my
doctor with panic attacks but still feel
anxious and constantly alert when not
having a panic attack. I am having
difficulty sleeping and have horrible
headaches. I always remember when
everything started to go black and feel
like it keeps happening over and over,
especially when I am out walking somewhere
in the dark or sleeping in the dark, so
this scares me and I begin to panic. I
tend not to have panic attacks as often
anymore and they don't feel as severe so
I'm starting to believe they're getting
better, but I am now starting to feel
depressed, although I am emotionally numb
at times. Like I just don't feel happy
anymore but sometimes I feel the need to
cry but cannot feel the hurt I used to
feel when I was about to cry. Also, I used
to suffer from anger problems but don't
seem to be able to feel a little bit angry
about anything anymore, and feel that I
can't even enjoy anything or even feel
love towards my partner. I don't
understand what's happening and I am very
confused. Could you help please? Thankyou.
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This page was last updated on June 11, 2008
Ugh.
