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Living With Anxiety W/ a Mom Who Doesn't Understand

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eringobraugh

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 Aug 2007
Posts: 1
Location: ~ By the Sea ~
Living With Anxiety W/ a Mom Who Doesn't Understand
Posted: 08-12-07 21:29pm

Hello All,

My name's Erin and I'm new here. I live with both depression and anxiety. I suffer from anxiety/panic attacks as well. It seems I have them more and more now. Like tonight for instance -- my mom and I got in a fight about my "always taking pills" (they're prescription medications, not illegal drugs) Oh you just go take a xanax why don't you -- my mother says. I just cannot get through to her -- and it exhausts me to talk about what it's like to live day in and day out with a mental illness. She thinks it's all just lollipops and sunshine. That it's just all in my head and not something serious. That I make it up. I'm so mad. So upset.

I also fight my demons regarding suicide. I feel suicidal as often as several times a week and then tonight for instance. I feel very tempted to cut my wrists or down some of my pills -- just to finally feel at peace. I also live with chronic nerve pain and it's debilitating at times. Like now. Sad Ugh.

My mom if I did end my life would most likely still see it as "this is her way at getting back at me." Real sick. She's a wonderful mom -- when it comes to my mental illness (depression and anxiety) she doesn't take me seriously and more or less says I'm just making this all up to get attention -- I wasn't really suicidal -- I just wanted to get back at her. She also says to me "you wouldn't have enough guts to actually do such a thing -- no follow through." I don't get this or her when she's like this.

Thanks for listening. She doesn't understand that I more or less feel like I am having a heart attack when in actuality I'm having a full blown anxiety attack. I can't stand my mom when she's this insensitive. She said well I think we should see your therapist together to get you straight ... I don't know I more or less think I'd leave and walk out on the session. Sad
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SW33T3STSIN24

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 14 Aug 2007
Posts: 2
Location: NEW JERSEY
Panick Attacks
Posted: 08-14-07 12:46pm

hey erin omg i know where you come from...my mom says its all in my head aswell even though she sometimes tries to understand but no one can understand unless their in ur shoes..my panic attacks always have me thinking im going to die..everyday i live like its my last...i hate seeing my family because i think its the last time i will see them..i always want to be home, i dont want to leave my house or be too far because ill get scared..on top of my panic attacks i do have 2 herniated disks which cause horrible pains down my arms and its the worst because just panic attacks alone give u thaty pain and numbness down ur left arm..i swear im going to get a heart attack and the fact im over weight w/ high blood pressu doesnt help even though i have managed to loose 20 pds already as im writing this i feel a choking sensation...but i guess its my panic attacks i have had so many heart tests sone everything comes back normal..and its unbelievable how panic attacks can do this to u...im on xanax and they dont help. reading these post calm me down a bit knowing other people have the same symptoms i do. even though i wish they would just go away.
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Hypathia

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 14 Aug 2007
Posts: 3
Location: ~ By the Sea ~

Posted: 08-14-07 13:20pm

Thank you for your kind words. Yes, I even thought of checking myself into "The Pavillion" for a few days -- just to get some breathing room and distance from my mother. You see, we live together -- so at times it get's tenuous.

I could perhaps ask if I could stay with a friend for a couple days. I'll get some breathing room this weekend though b/c my mother is going to NY to empty out my Gram's house with my brother. My gram is now in a nursing home up here by us and her house has been sold. ~

Although I tell you sometimes it's like night and day -- everyone goes to sleep -- get up the next morning and wallah -- it's as if 'nothing's' happened. Hmmmm. So I've been taking more xanax the past few evenings. I'm also on some other heavy medications and so at least I can sleep.

Thanks for listening
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SW33T3STSIN24

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 14 Aug 2007
Posts: 2
Location: NEW JERSEY

Posted: 08-14-07 13:27pm

at least u can sleep...i cant im up till 3 am
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Hypathia

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 14 Aug 2007
Posts: 3
Location: ~ By the Sea ~

Posted: 08-14-07 13:37pm

Some nights are like that for me.... I fell asleep on the couch at around 10 and woke up at 11:30 -- I was hungry so I had a small snack and glass of water. Then was wide awake so I read until 2am -- yes, I can sympathize some nights I am up till 3 with insomnia -- as I live with it on top of everything else.. while still somehow keeping a positive mindset -- when I can.

Some days I cannot cope and also get PTSD flashbacks and get triggered by things -- whether it be on television, a movie I'm watching, or something my mom's said that's pushed my buttons. Sad

I also get terrible anxiety attacks because of the PTSD as well ... nightmares etc. Yuck.
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sandyallen

Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Feb 2004
Posts: 4580

Posted: 08-14-07 13:54pm

Can you talk to your dr and try to get something for your anxiety/ depression. I have to deal with pain everyday of my life and I try to not allow people to get to me, try to keep your space from those that do. I know that I cannot live alone because I fall and have seizures which my husband is very understanding about this. I used to take meds for my anxiety and stress and they helped for some time but I quit them and taught myself self control. Have you tried EFT and for those who have a PTSD you might think of trying EMDR, just try doing some research on them. All the best to you and know that I am here for you!
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Hypathia

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 14 Aug 2007
Posts: 3
Location: ~ By the Sea ~

Posted: 08-14-07 22:22pm

Hello Sandy and everyone --

I am taking something for my depression and have something I can take as needed for my anxiety. My PC Dr. (primary care) has referred me to the psychiatrist in town -- for an evaluation and to hand over the management of my psychopharmacological care ... seeing as how I've en quote been on and tried every class of SSRI's etc and then tried WB and that was horrible for me. What is EFT? I am familiar with EMDR I'm not sure if my psychologist is licensed in that practice.

Just feeling very anxious lately and wondering if my anxiety medication is working -- other than to put me to sleep. Not so helpful during the day. I'm not working at present but when I do head back -- I'll need have something that will ease my anxiety attacks when I can't sooth myself first.

Oy. Thank you for listening.

My anxiety's gotten so bad that I've seriously thought about going in-patient for a couple of days. I always usually get to the door and then get scared that I'll be locked away in my room and not able to walk around even. I'm very claustrophobic. Has anyone with anxiety ever been in patient for treatment? If so may I ask how was it for you and what was the experience like, if you don't mind. I don't need the down to the last drop details -- just asking for a person that's never been.
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leah345

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Dec 2007
Posts: 3

Posted: 12-13-07 19:12pm

Hello Hypathia,

I am wondering if you could help me. I have been told I suffer from anxiety/panic attacks but am still concerned that I could be suffering from PTSD. Could you please explain what it is in more detail or tell me what could trigger it off?? I am wondering if a build-up of stress, a bereavement in the family or if something happened to yourself could start off PTSD. For example, my gran recently passed away and I was very upset, didn't like to talk about it much and bottled up my feelings. Not long after I nearly blacked out because I wasn't well and ever since then have been very afraid of dying and extremely aware that it could happen to me at anytime. I have been diagnosed by my doctor with panic attacks but still feel anxious and constantly alert when not having a panic attack. I am having difficulty sleeping and have horrible headaches. I always remember when everything started to go black and feel like it keeps happening over and over, especially when I am out walking somewhere in the dark or sleeping in the dark, so this scares me and I begin to panic. I tend not to have panic attacks as often anymore and they don't feel as severe so I'm starting to believe they're getting better, but I am now starting to feel depressed, although I am emotionally numb at times. Like I just don't feel happy anymore but sometimes I feel the need to cry but cannot feel the hurt I used to feel when I was about to cry. Also, I used to suffer from anger problems but don't seem to be able to feel a little bit angry about anything anymore, and feel that I can't even enjoy anything or even feel love towards my partner. I don't understand what's happening and I am very confused. Could you help please? Thankyou.
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