If she hasn't had an orgasm yet, she should try to give one to herself through masturbation. Using her fingers, toys, shower heads, whatever. There's also two main areas she could stimulate to achieve orgasm. Either her clitoris or vaginally, which may be caused by her g-spot.
But that doesn't mean you can't help. It's her body so she can actually feel what she's doing and will know what to keep doing and how fast. However, having a partner is often more erotic and arousing and sexual excitement can also play a role in being able to achieve orgasm. So although she should try masturbating on her own, you could also incorporate her trials into sex. Either by her masturbating and you touching other parts of her and just being there to turn her on. Or by her guiding you to do things, or just letting you do your own thing and letting you know when you're on to something.
My new partner wriggles, moans, and squirms like no other when I hit certain spots and does so for minutes. That's something I would call a great orgasm. Though, she says she hasn't had a full orgasm yet (which I don't deny, it's her body, I don't know what she's feeling). However, she doesn't orgasm or get anywhere near that much pleasure when she masturbates. She says she doesn't have the patience or the finger length and the toy doesn't do it for her. I want her to explore herself more, but so far we get pretty great results when I'm the one doing it. I can actually physically feel her g-spot and that gets her going, but so does her clit.
You might also find you have to switch up your moves. By all means, don't stop or change what you're doing if it's working. (I go by her reaction, but your girl has to be honest and not faking it for that, and if you're having difficulty than there's nothing wrong with a little verbal instruction.) However, I find sometimes I need to stop, slow, speed, or just plain move on. I can hit her g-spot, circle it with my finger and she'll writhe a moan for a few minutes and go absolutely crazy for another and then just relax and calm down even though I'm still doing the exact same thing. So I move on and do something else and find a new button which again gets the same response, but then stops working again.
Another I always mention when women are having difficulty achieving orgasm is her Histamine levels. Histamine plays a role in arousal and achieving orgasm for both men and women. A doctor can check levels. I don't know how common the problem is, but I like to mention it because it may just be the piece of the puzzle some people are looking for. I haven't brought it up to my partner yet either, because there is no rush, and we're new to each other. You don't want to put pressure on achieving something, just have fun and experiment.
- Histidine is involved in the function of the thalamus and hypothalamus glands, and orgasm is triggered when histamine is released from the mast cells in the genitals. Histamine also causes the sexual flush that occurs during arousal. Many women fail to achieve sexual pleasure and orgasm, and often other treatments including psychotherapy may be unsuccessful. This problem may be a result of a biochemical imbalance, since sufficient histamine must be present in order to trigger an orgasm. Deficiencies of L-Histidine will effect histamine levels.
- Supplementing with L-Histidine will increase histamine levels as proved by Carl Pfeiffer, M.D., and Ph.D. in his research on non-orgasmic women. He administered doses of 500mg. of L-Histidine (1) before each meal (for a total of 3 per day) restoring sexual pleasure in women. (He also helped women who had irregular periods become regular by giving doses of 4g. per day).
