I have just graduated high school and am going into college. I appear to be a perfectly normal teenager but I know I'm not. I feel as though I'm missing out on all the joy life contains and some of the good times of being a teenager. Most of the peers around me seem to have perfectly normal, happy lives and I yearn for that. Of course, a normal teenager has a ton of problems but most can at least experience happiness. I feel constantly down and apathetic about everything and I have for a long time. Nothing gives me joy and the days just combine into a mundane sludge. I try to stay positive and active but it doesn't work. I even get 8 hours of sleep each night. I have also been on 7 anti-depressants. I feel hopeless. This has been a long, ongoing struggle and I feel as though I am missing out on everything. I've become constantly anxious and my heart beats about 20 paces over normal. I don't know what to do. People have stopped hanging around me because of my downcast attitude but I don't know how to change it. I have few friends left and I don't even know how to make new ones. My depression/anxiety has killed my ability to connect with peers or act myself. I have an extremely hard time talking to new people, especially the opposite gender. No girl wants to talk to a depressed guy. I've also been smoking more and more cigarettes. Help?