Mental Illness does not exist! Medication does nothing!

There is no proven link between the brain and mental illness. Because it is not biologically caused than it cannot be called an illness.

This sick lie has been propagated by psychologists since the beginning of the twentieth century. There is no philosophically solid basis for the existence of mental illness! Defined academic knowledge is not necessarily true. It is the weight of history that defines this knowledge, not reality. There was no conception of any of these so called disorders before the twentieth century.

"The car's on fire and there's no driver at the wheel
The sewers are muddied with a thousand lonely suicides
And a dark wind blows
The government is corrupt
And we're on so many drugs
With the radio on and the curtains drawn

We're trapped in the belly of this horrible machine
And the machine is bleeding to death"

This system is messed up and the lie of mental illness is just another symptom of this. The way the goverments are going this world will be dead soon enough. Think about the amount of death and insanity and conformity in this world.

"I open up my wallet
And it's full of blood"

If there's no proven link, then why do brain scans show different brain activity than normal? And why do I feel all sorts of physical stuff going on in my brain?

Philo has a good point, I mean, what do you expect us to believe? That it is witchcraft and satan? CCCC'mmmonnnnnnn.

By the way, I feel too sick to vent! Sorry.

no, they're right, no such thing as mental illness. you see a bitmap and you think it's your brain. the emperor has new clothes!!!!

Want to really see the "mind" (not "brain", 'cause who cares?)

well, I went to the demon world, went to let the madness teach me the purpose of madness.

There's nothing to vent but madness itself.

i was reading "the history of madness" by focault, the past 500 years of understanding about what madness is and where it fits in in the world. I had to make a presentation in the demon world called "obstacles to integration of the demon world and the human world that have arisen in the past 500 years, and proposals for the removal of these obstacles"; the presentation became a sort of conference, where the point came down to this: what good can "madness/shamanism/the demon world" offer to the human world. As usual, the final repot from the demon world came in the form of an "image", as usual, quite complex.
So I walked around in the mountains for a day, thinking about this image. Now I have some interpretations.

It was the answer to "where does madness fit in to the scheme of things." the mind became illuminated to itself, instead of just being a big black box, "it's all in your mind" was never a helpful comment. now the mind can be analyzed as a vision. the mind was a big castle, connected to the body though deep pipes that allow steam to rise up - like the 18th century ideas of "humours" and "vapors" of the body that affect the mind. And a homunculus - a tiny man in charge of orchestrating everything - is in the central tower, looking out on the hills and lakes and villages of the soul.
And as turbulent wind affects the environment, the homunculus/will is in charge of orchestrating everything back to the best possible scenario.

There's a huge "heat gradient" across this landscape that this will looks out upon: the higher regions, corresponding to the height of the castle tower, are cold. icicles hang. hope and promise. i could add the material world, comfort, companionship, etc. this is available only in the upper, colder reaches.

Mankind at this point in its development has risen out of the lower,, hot, molten, alchemical (molten gold lake), and has reached the frigid heights. Continuous landscape that it is, the upper reaches are constantly threatened to be overcome by the hot below (the lake of "madness"); so the cold upper reaches have tried to close the door, stop talking to unreason, confine it in the sanitarium, drug it with SSRI's, but keep it from melting our icicles of "hope and promise".

But the homunculus itself is the evolution of the tadpole-from-the-depths, that's not only the source, where it came from, but it's what will sooner or later be needed to rise up again, when there's a crisis, when the red light on the top of the castle comes on. that's when the homunculus will have to raise up more "mystery and wonder", when there's no more "hope and promise" to cling to.

I am the homunculus. I lead my own soul, in and out of madness. I flood the upper reaches with storms of molten gold. I let them drip off and dry and freeze, for a little while, see what kind of butterfly emerges from the cocoon, but I am a wildly experimental homunculus, and I get bored with my cold and frail little butterflies of "proper behavior in the physical moral human social world", and I choose to raise up continuous streams of phantasms, out of the molten gold lake of madness.

Did I find my way out? I gained and understanding of madness from the madness itself; I will continue to inhabit and guide my own soul-landscape, and mine will be full of the molten tadpoles turning to fiery dragons, the dragons of "mystery and wonder".

A mind becomes objective to itself: the castle is like a grand central train station, trains going out in every direction, above ground, (and coming back, from every direction, below ground); Beneath the white castle, four black stakes penetrate deep into the earth, and a single red light like Rudolph’s red nose is placed at the top of a central tower, where a central figure – a homunculus that feels like the force of will itself – can look out on the surrounding hills, valleys, and towns, like a panopticon of the soul. The central figure pulls a book from the library in the tower, and as he reads, the pages are produced dynamically, from the steam rising up out of the black pipes below. The book he is reading is called “MADNESS RISING”;

“PRIVATE GIGGLES IN A POSTCARD TO YOU: OUT OF A GOLDEN LAKE, MOLTEN LAVA RISES UP LIKE A TADPOLE THAT CATCHES THE ECSTATIC DRUMBEAT OF TIME AND LEARNS TO RIDE THE AIR; HOPE AND PROMISE TWINKLE AS ICICLES AN INCREASINGLY COMPLEX TADPOLE CAN NEVER QUITE MASTER, MYSTERY AND WONDER FLYING ABOVE THE SURFACE OF THE LAKE AGAIN AND AGAIN.”

Onderdonk, you have come to a certain interpretation or understanding of your condition. So have I - I see it as a manifestation of inner deep meanings and not a sickness like a cold or flu that is effected by a bug from outside. However, no matter how meaningfully I interpret the meanings, I still FEEL sick, and I feel the symptoms that just kill me. I can sometimes hardly do anything I'm so ill. You seem not to have symtoms that disable you (you just have hallucinations, right?), so you're lucky. So for me, in reality, the sickness does exist in the form of symptoms - it is the symptoms that are deadly.

no i have my problems too. take the past 60 minutes of my life: I got off the train, and got into the elevator with my bike, overheard part of a guy's conversation, when the elevator opened i yelled 'POLICE", claimed assault (cause he tapped me on the shoulder as a stranger) and stood around for a while, then took off before the police came, but i assume he had to deal with them, and all the accusations i had made. then i got to work, and told the boss that if he sends me to texas next week, as had been agreed and the tickets were already paid for, then i'm declaring war on texas at lackland airforce base, and i'll never get back here, i'll be in jail or dead, and there will be a national incident, and unitek's name will be all over it. so the boss told me the class is cancelled. then he told me all my future classes are cancelled. so i'm out of a job, yet again in life, set to enter starvation in 3 to 4 weeks.

it's my delusions of power that get me in trouble, and i get in states like this, kind of sociopathic, and it gets out of my control. it's not hallucinations exactly, those i induce in the evening with my shamanism drum tape, it's more the sz thinking pattern of WAR. i have a whole lot of frontal lobe tissue, most of it hard wired for mind to mind combat.

-onderdonk

Man, you've got it bad.

i was just being the volcanic vent. venting at work. i am a contractor, so i am not paid all this week, yet i am expected to spend all my free time working for the days i do work, for instance, i had to study linux all week, buy my own books, go in and spend a few days, so i don't fall on my face in texas next week. i also had to dedicate a day or ttwo to teaching the new guy my citrix stuff, so he can teach my class when i'm gone. plus i have a cold and don't feel like studying. plus i have to get up at 3 am and go two miles in the dark to get to a cab, to get my 6am flight, so that takes up saturday evening even, and of course all day sunday, and i'm not compensated, and on top of all that i was going to have to go to an airforce base, lackland. i don't believe in america, or democracy, i believe in their enemy , al quada, and the war against women's rights. all women should be out of the workplace, and blindfolded and handcuffed, evolution out of the hands of women. yeah! so that air force thing wouldn't ahve worked out. i'd have been arrested or killed. so it was called off. this is good, but i'm fired

alright stephanic that post was politically incoorect. but i blasted all that at my bosses today at work. and i was prepared to blast it at lackland airforce base in texas, until they cancelled the class. and this thread did say: VENT. so i did.

suffice it to say that i have some horrific ideas and the people around me do not want to interact with my mindset, so i take that as a declaration of war, i have delusions of power, very great power, and i declare war

Why don't you apologize fully or stop posting here? That post wasn't just offensive, it could also get you in a lot of trouble. When I worked in mental health we had a bi-polar man that once said certain things...

You can't declare war when you don't even have any military power which I'm sure you don't. You believe in all that you're saying but it really has no fact or meaning to it that is tied to your external reality. You are living in your own mind believing what it produces and externalizing all your thinking.

Your brain is like a computer hard drive, your mind is the software, your software is glitching, why? not because anything in your environment is acting differently but because your brain is acting differently. Firing the wrong neurotransmitters or too much of the same nt's. Why is it firing the wrong nt's? Hard to say but most likely because the brain grew wrong.

Why did it grow wrong? External factors, genetic factors etc.

Treatment? Psychiatric drugs just like illegal drugs. They may not be addictive but you need them to function properly. Illegal drugs you don't need to function properly, you use them to get high or change your brain's function for a while.

Illegal drugs cost big money and cause mental problems leading you to go to buy legal prescription psychiatric drugs! yay! that's the system we live in. All by the big driving force in this country MONEY. Money buys you Marijuana, Marijuana gives you psychosis, psychosis leads you to the psychiatrist, psychiatrist gives your prescription for Medication. Go on and on and on .

I see psychiatric drugs as big business, you see advertisements every day on the commercials for pills that make you , sleep, get a boner, get happy, stop your legs from shaking, etc.

Best scenario would be a healing drug, not just a drug a that blocks specific neurotransmitters in the brain. But if you heal and go to 100 percent and don't need the drugs anymore that means the drug companies aren't gonna be making anymore MONEY.

What I wanna know is who funds the research and the development of these drugs, Do we not have the technology and know how to develop a cure?? something that stops the problem at the source?

Prevention is the best thing anyone can do.

I know the best thing is that i do not go to lackland air force base, in texas. it is good the class is cancelled. now i am free, walking around san francisco, otherwise i'd be in jail, questioned by the fbi 24 hours a day sitting in a chair with a leg iron. been there. i have military power, but it isn't in this world, exacltly, though occasionally it pokes through in all its force, so i consider it a military force in this world too. i have used it - or rather it has used itself - to kill for me. it is my alibi, 'cause it kills across state lines. i never know when i am going to activate it, but if the mindset for days is to declare war, i figure i might activate it. here's the principal military advisor's name - Zhen Wu. He's from Qing Wei.

-onderdonk

At first I thought you had something going. Now I'm starting to lose faith in you, ondie.

I'm not sure what you thought about him, he clearly has gradiose, ridiculous thoughts. You're pretty much the putty that seems to keep these guys together sometimes and the only responsible schizophrenic I've probably ever seen.

1. He was original, while I'm not (not very much)
2. He makes sense to himself, while I doubt my own opinions
3. He doesn't seem to suffer as much as I do, so what he's doing must be working

The fact that you're able to carry a normal conversation shows to me that you seem much more healthy than he, though I'm not trying to downplay your agony in any way. I'm not sure what's so original about what he says, you should have seen the post that was moderated. Wow. And I don't see much sense in there either, most people doubt their opinions, but when you get as bad as he is and begin to believe your rambling nonsense you're worse off than anyone.

it's just ideation. it's not in my behavior. sometimes i 'act out'. I try to tell myself not to. In a way, i avoided 'acting out' in texas, by displaying the ideation ahead of time. now i'm not necessarily fired, it's just that class that's cancelled, and i am going to be splitting a class with another instructor, they know i'm ok as long as i stay in the bay area. i have the support of my two birds: turtle doves, 23 and 13 years old. the male had 33 babies, mostly with this, his second wife. They aren't supposed to live that long, but i use magic - no, just fresh vegetables, but in a way thats magic. the 13 year old female may be dying, she can't fly, but she eats, and the male is geriatric, but still squawks. Ralph the 23 year old is my 'itzam ne', the mayan word for a bird that accompanies a shaman on his journeys through the other worlds.

I have outrageous grandiose delusions. for my own entertainment. i (kind of) know the difference between this and consensual reality. and i so attempt to stamp consensual reality, change it.

yes, all my life i have made sense to myself, which is the comfort when everyone else tells me i'm crazy. that is just the phrase for 'we don't understand the big picture, now, charlie', but no worries, i always do.

i'm fine, just schizotypal as always. and today and yesterday i'm reading a wonderful polish novel frrom a very schizotypal writer. Bruno Schulz. He has a story that is from his childhood, where "father" is the great demiurge, the herseiarch, he hatches condors and eagles in his attic, he hallucinates all kind of ideas into every page, and this is referred to as one of the greatest writers of the 20th century, so sometimes madness is obviously a good thing.

thanks for the attention, a schizotypal personality like me eats it up!

-onderdonk

You're going to get overweight.