Hi There
I have been diagnoised as Bi Polar
recently because my partner noticed we
wernt getting along the best and thought i
was too emotianal. Granted I had started
to cut myself (not for pain... for sum
reason I just wanted to see blood go from
me to the shower drain)...
But the reason I'm wondering if im Bi
Polar is because before this partner no
one else had mentioned anything... And I
cut myself a few times becaues he had told
me that years ago he had cut himself... so
i guess i was just curious...
Im not sure if I have Bi Polar or this
current partner makes me feel bad and
depressed about myself...
Its really stupid but if Im in a bad mood
he does nothing to help... If he is
creating the bad mood (eg there has been a
miscommunication and i get upset he wont
correct the miscommunication... he will
let me get upset and later on push it in
my face that there was no reason to be
upset as somewhere along the lines i had
got it wrong... he doesnt just let me know
there has been a mistake.) Instead he
feels its necessary to 'teach me'...
Argh its all confusing.... and im not
explaining myself well...
I guess if i think about it I am Bi
Polar... It does run in the family... My
two brothers have gone through hell and Im
meant to be the good child who doesnt have
anything wrong... my mum says i have PMS
not Bi Polar... She says she has seen
nothing to back up me being Bi Polar...
When I went to see my Doctor Im not sure
if I said what he wanted to hear or if i
told the truth... Its kinda hard to say...
But he gave me some medication and the
next day I was 'perfect'. I think this is
cause my partner laid off a bit because in
his mind i was no longer a threat as i was
medicated... though can medication really
have an effect after one day??
I read the symptoms of Bi Polar and i
guess i can relate to most of them... but
it is really difficult to accept. and its
not made easier when my partner blames all
my bad moods or diffrence of opinon on me
being bi polar... makes me feel like
pooh... he says im lazy and dont do
anything... and then he asks if i have
taken my meds... and if i say yes he just
looks at me like he doesnt believe me....
its really very frustrating...
I just dont know if i like the label of Bi
Polar... I dont like the idea of me being
myeslf is blamed on me taking or not
taking my meds...
Its really hard to accept..
