A close friend of mine is a very genuine,
caring, intelligent, and wonderful guy.
He is naive, and although he's in his
midtwenties, when it comes to dating, he's
16.
He has hooked up with this monstrously
manipulative woman. She is self professed
bipolar with a, and I quote, "touch of
personality disorder". (To me that's like
saying you're a "touch pregnant".)
She does all those manipulative women
things like accuse him that he doesn't
care about her, or he lies, or even the
whole, "Are you mad at me"? when he has to
leave. They had a fight the other night
b/c she wanted him to stay, and he
couldn't, so first she accused him of
lying, and then she had (in his words) "an
episode" and he ended up staying with her
all night, which is exactly what she
wanted. He does not see the correlation.
Today he told me about that night..."She's
really stressed, working two jobs, and I
just pushed her over the edge". I wanted
to cry. This is a guy who couldn't push
a...a...jaguar over the edge.
*sigh*
I just don't know what to do, except point
out what's going on to him, but he doesn't
seem like he's capable of hearing and
comprehending it. I guess he's just going
to have to go through it and learn. I
just can't stand him berating himself like
this-it's like domestic violence victims-
"It's my fault he hit me".
Thanks for reading.
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Tylanas
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Jul 2005 Posts: 12985
Thanks: 3
Thanked:0
Posted: 07-30-07 19:05pm
As with all abusive relationships,
emotional or physical, it is often very
very hard to convince the victim that they
are actually getting the short end of the
stick and that there really is something
wrong. I guess all I can say is keep
pointing out to him all the horrible
things this woman does.
On that note, I HATE women like this!!!
Arrrgh!!
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The Ginger 1
Supporter
Joined: 09 Jul 2007 Posts: 556 Location: Loony-tune-land, England
Posted: 08-01-07 19:58pm
I know this sounds unhelpful at this time
...but he will eventually get jarred off
with her ..she's insecure, and that's why
she's so clingy, either she'll realise
that your friend is one of the 'good guys'
and calm down ... or use her 'talent' as a
woman to win her own way all the time..
I hate these type of women too .. they
give the rest of us a bad name ..
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Birch
Supporter
Joined: 07 Nov 2005 Posts: 4037 Location: Bliss,
Thanks: 141
Thanked:13
Posted: 08-02-07 14:44pm
The Ginger 1
wrote:
I know this sounds unhelpful
at this time ...but he will eventually get
jarred off with her ..she's insecure, and
that's why she's so clingy, either she'll
realise that your friend is one of the
'good guys' and calm down ... or use her
'talent' as a woman to win her own way all
the time..
I hate these type of women too .. they
give the rest of us a bad name ..
I bloody well hope so...he keeps saying,
'we'll see how it turns out' and I reply
with, 'dude, it's turning out' and he
doesn't even know what to say.
Another problem I forgot to mention is
that he is intensely insecure as well and
clings, too. They are disgusting
together, and we feel like we are
babysitting when we all do something
together.
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The Ginger 1
Supporter
Joined: 09 Jul 2007 Posts: 556 Location: Loony-tune-land, England
Posted: 08-03-07 12:58pm
Birch
wrote:
The Ginger 1
wrote:
I know this sounds unhelpful
at this time ...but he will eventually get
jarred off with her ..she's insecure, and
that's why she's so clingy, either she'll
realise that your friend is one of the
'good guys' and calm down ... or use her
'talent' as a woman to win her own way all
the time..
I hate these type of women too .. they
give the rest of us a bad name ..
I bloody well hope so...he keeps saying,
'we'll see how it turns out' and I reply
with, 'dude, it's turning out' and he
doesn't even know what to say.
Another problem I forgot to mention is
that he is intensely insecure as well and
clings, too. They are disgusting
together, and we feel like we are
babysitting when we all do something
together.
OMG .... sounds like a disaster ... I work
with EOD Divers, and I know when you get 2
explosive chemicals together, it causes
'reactions' to anyone that is around them
!! I know he's a mate of yours, but
jeeeeeeze sweetie ... when they are both
together, keep them both at arms length at
all times .... or you'll get burned too !
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Birch
Supporter
Joined: 07 Nov 2005 Posts: 4037 Location: Bliss,
Thanks: 141
Thanked:13
Man Oh Man... Posted: 08-31-07 06:54am
So I need to vent a little more.
This dude is seriously whacked out now
about this chick. He actually told me,
with his mouth, that "I really like her,
even though she makes me feel like shiit".
What?!?! And then, "It's as if she
doesn't want me to have any friends or
anything."
And, he was overheard to tell her "I love
you" at the end of a phone conversation.
When he hung up, he turned to my boyfriend
and said, "let me explain..." because he
felt he had to explain something,
apparently... he went on to say, "You know
how you and I love each other, right?"
(they have been close friends for years
and years) and my boyfriend said, "yes..."
he goes, "Well, we discussed it and we
love each other like that".
Oh my god, does he think we were born
yesterday?
He is very naive, 24 going on 16, so I
have to let this go, but for the love of
god if she sucks him into her tentacles
with a pregnancy (you know this happens
with this kind of girl) I am going to blow
up.
Thank you.
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Jude-Love
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 Jun 2007 Posts: 727 Location: Williamstown, Kentucky USA
Posted: 08-31-07 13:19pm
What doing it train wreck.
I hate people who advertise their bi-polar
disorder, like it's an accesory or a
novelty. I mostly don't believe people
like that.
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Birch
Supporter
Joined: 07 Nov 2005 Posts: 4037 Location: Bliss,
Thanks: 141
Thanked:13
Posted: 08-31-07 16:44pm
Jude-Love
wrote:
What doing it train wreck.
I hate people who advertise their bi-polar
disorder, like it's an accesory or a
novelty. I mostly don't believe people
like that.
Oh, god, tell me about it...it's just a
big drama escalator. I hate it when it's
used as an excuse.
'I'm sorry I treat you like crap, I'm
bipolar so you have to put up with it.'
One of the things I learned working in a
psych unit is that it's okay to dislike
people with mental illness- you don't have
to like them or forgive them for the way
they treat you just because of their
illness.
I wish he'd listen. It's just one of
those things you have to go through, I
guess. I know I'm going to start losing
him as a friend; when I talk to him (which
is rarely anymore) I don't want to talk
about her, and he always brings her up
(and how poorly she's treating him) and I
can't stand it.
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Jude-Love
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 Jun 2007 Posts: 727 Location: Williamstown, Kentucky USA
Posted: 08-31-07 20:52pm
Um, okay, so now F.R.I.C.K.I.N.G means
"doing it". OMG.
Yeah, anyway....
He's going to learn, I just hope it's
before she blows his car up or something.
