Womens Chat Forum - Manipulative Women

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Q: Manipulative Women

asked by: Birch on July 30th, 2007

Extremely eHealthy

A close friend of mine is a very genuine, caring, intelligent, and wonderful guy. He is naive, and although he's in his midtwenties, when it comes to dating, he's 16.

He has hooked up with this monstrously manipulative woman. She is self professed bipolar with a, and I quote, "touch of personality disorder". (To me that's like saying you're a "touch pregnant".)

She does all those manipulative women things like accuse him that he doesn't care about her, or he lies, or even the whole, "Are you mad at me"? when he has to leave. They had a fight the other night b/c she wanted him to stay, and he couldn't, so first she accused him of lying, and then she had (in his words) "an episode" and he ended up staying with her all night, which is exactly what she wanted. He does not see the correlation.

Today he told me about that night..."She's really stressed, working two jobs, and I just pushed her over the edge". I wanted to cry. This is a guy who couldn't push a...a...jaguar over the edge.

*sigh*

I just don't know what to do, except point out what's going on to him, but he doesn't seem like he's capable of hearing and comprehending it. I guess he's just going to have to go through it and learn. I just can't stand him berating himself like this-it's like domestic violence victims- "It's my fault he hit me".

Thanks for reading.

Replies(8)

Tylanas

replied on July 30th, 2007

Especially eHealthy

As with all abusive relationships, emotional or physical, it is often very very hard to convince the victim that they are actually getting the short end of the stick and that there really is something wrong. I guess all I can say is keep pointing out to him all the horrible things this woman does.

On that note, I HATE women like this!!! Arrrgh!!

The Ginger 1

replied on August 1st, 2007

Supporter

I know this sounds unhelpful at this time ...but he will eventually get jarred off with her ..she's insecure, and that's why she's so clingy, either she'll realise that your friend is one of the 'good guys' and calm down ... or use her 'talent' as a woman to win her own way all the time..
I hate these type of women too .. they give the rest of us a bad name .. Confused

Birch

replied on August 2nd, 2007

Extremely eHealthy

The Ginger 1 wrote:

I bloody well hope so...he keeps saying, 'we'll see how it turns out' and I reply with, 'dude, it's turning out' and he doesn't even know what to say.
Another problem I forgot to mention is that he is intensely insecure as well and clings, too. They are disgusting together, and we feel like we are babysitting when we all do something together.

The Ginger 1

replied on August 3rd, 2007

Supporter

Birch wrote:

The Ginger 1 wrote:

OMG .... sounds like a disaster ... I work with EOD Divers, and I know when you get 2 explosive chemicals together, it causes 'reactions' to anyone that is around them !! I know he's a mate of yours, but jeeeeeeze sweetie ... when they are both together, keep them both at arms length at all times .... or you'll get burned too !

Birch

replied on August 31st, 2007

Extremely eHealthy

Man Oh Man...

So I need to vent a little more.

This dude is seriously whacked out now about this chick. He actually told me, with his mouth, that "I really like her, even though she makes me feel like shiit". What?!?! And then, "It's as if she doesn't want me to have any friends or anything."

And, he was overheard to tell her "I love you" at the end of a phone conversation. When he hung up, he turned to my boyfriend and said, "let me explain..." because he felt he had to explain something, apparently... he went on to say, "You know how you and I love each other, right?" (they have been close friends for years and years) and my boyfriend said, "yes..." he goes, "Well, we discussed it and we love each other like that".

Oh my god, does he think we were born yesterday?

He is very naive, 24 going on 16, so I have to let this go, but for the love of god if she sucks him into her tentacles with a pregnancy (you know this happens with this kind of girl) I am going to blow up.

Thank you.

Jude-Love

replied on August 31st, 2007

Active User, very eHealthy

What doing it train wreck.

I hate people who advertise their bi-polar disorder, like it's an accesory or a novelty. I mostly don't believe people like that.

Birch

replied on August 31st, 2007

Extremely eHealthy

Jude-Love wrote:

What doing it train wreck.

I hate people who advertise their bi-polar disorder, like it's an accesory or a novelty. I mostly don't believe people like that.

Oh, god, tell me about it...it's just a big drama escalator. I hate it when it's used as an excuse.

'I'm sorry I treat you like crap, I'm bipolar so you have to put up with it.'

One of the things I learned working in a psych unit is that it's okay to dislike people with mental illness- you don't have to like them or forgive them for the way they treat you just because of their illness.

I wish he'd listen. It's just one of those things you have to go through, I guess. I know I'm going to start losing him as a friend; when I talk to him (which is rarely anymore) I don't want to talk about her, and he always brings her up (and how poorly she's treating him) and I can't stand it.

Jude-Love

replied on August 31st, 2007

Active User, very eHealthy

Um, okay, so now F.R.I.C.K.I.N.G means "doing it". OMG.

Yeah, anyway....

He's going to learn, I just hope it's before she blows his car up or something.

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