I've been confronted by my parents and
some other adults to see professionals
about this because they think I seem
suicidal, which is kind of true, but I'm
one those people who likes to fix things
by themselves and not open up to much. So
i figure this would be a good place to let
out to random people.
So this is pretty much whats going on. I'm
17, play varsity football and wrestling,
and have no friends or a social life.
Never had a girlfriend, hell never even
kissed a girl. I kinda feel like a big
loser. My life consists of going to
practice, to work, and back home. I don't
really ever talk to anyone outside of
sports or work.
I think to myself what is the point of
life? Is this all their is? Work and
Sleep. I never really have fun anymore, so
sometimes I just want to end it. I feel
like a drone just going through days with
nothing to look forward to. I keep hoping
things will get better, but its just been
going downhill for the last three years.
Growing up I was the fat kid and going
into my freshman year I weighed 240 pounds
and was just a lazy kid. Now I'm 195 going
into my senior year and am athletic.
Everyone always tells me I'm not fat
anymore, but when I look in the mirror i
still see that same person who I hate. I
still have a little belly because I'm a
big guy. Overall my self image is just
shot and i feel like a gross lookin guy.
So can someone give me a good reason to
keep going on. Right now all I'm workin
with is my shitty dishwashing job and a
school i resent. I have no one but my
parents, which I guess should be enough,
but I can't remember the last time someone
called me to do something. I mean hell I
looked down the barrel of an unloaded gun
about six months ago. I got rid of the
ammo I had for it cause I thought I might
do something drastic, but it really seems
like nothing good is coming in the near
future. I could go on more but i think you
guys get the point =/
*lol sorry for the sad looking emo
picture. Only one i could find at the
moment
|
Aryeani
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 10 Feb 2007 Posts: 128 Location: Edinburg, Texas, United States
Posted: 07-26-07 02:57am
Hey Kevin,
I'm not really sure what's wrong, so I'm
just offering support and a hug. It sounds
like you may be a little overwhelmed. Life
isn't just work and sleep. I'm 18 and have
a job so I know where you're coming from
there. But, we're still young. There's so
much out there to do. Life is also about
fun and enjoying yourself. You're in high
school. You're a senior. Go out and have
some fun when you can. Play a game, go to
a movie. If you say you have no friends,
start a conversation with someone at
school. You never know where it may lead
to. Just dont worry about what the person
may think of you or whether or not they'll
accept your conversation. If there are
times where you feel like life is nothing
but work, just stop what you're doing and
take a deep breath and focus again. Don't
let it take over you. If you're at home,
just take the time to do something you
like to do. I personally just lay down and
listen to a favorite CD for a while.
Anything to relax my mind for a little
bit. You're still young. You can't let
yourself get taken down. And remember,
there's always something to look forward
to if you look hard enough.
About your self-image issues, I have the
same problem. So, I'll tell you what the
people here told me: you look great. You
just need to believe that you look good.
There's nothing wrong with looking at
yourself in the mirror and saying "Wow, I
look good!". It sounds silly, but it's a
little boost. And while it sounds a bit
cliche, everyone's beautiful on the
inside. So, don't worry about your
appearance. You're fine the way you are.
And who cares if you haven't had a
girlfriend? That doesn't make you a loser
at all. You're just waiting for Ms. Right.
And good things happen to those who wait.
Finally, please do not think that suicide
is the answer. You're 17 years old. You
have your whole life ahead of you and I'll
bet you have the potential to be something
great. So, don't give up. If not for
yourself, for your parents and the people
around you that love you.
Hope this helps. Feel free to PM me if you
need someone to talk to.
|
Russ66
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 26 Jul 2007 Posts: 1
Posted: 07-26-07 03:46am
Kevin let me tell you something, when I
was your age I was VERY like you. I had
not had much contact with women.. I was
scared to even really be myself around
them. It's depressing as hell.. tell me
about it. I'm sure your watching all your
peers flirting around with girls... and
you hear the stories.. but it's just not
happening for you.
Let me give you some good news. Life gets
A LOT better. I'm 20, finished high school
and working - Life is very good! I've
become a lot more comfortable with women
and I'm living a more healthy life style.
I think you're doing alright - your
working, getting exercise, doing
reasonably academically.. Your "only
"issue" is that you feel unsatisfied with
your social life.
I know this is gonna sound like a load of
BS - but waiting for a girlfriend is like
waiting for Christmas.. the waiting is
part of what makes it so special. Without
all that waiting you wouldn't enjoy her as
much as you will when you finally find
her.
Now a little advice, when you see a girl
you like.. don't be afraid to bite. Women
enjoy attention, you don't have to be mr.
smooth, or mr. smart, or mr. tough, just
talk to her. Don't turn down a girl
because you think she's too young for
you.. or too old for you.. just do what
makes you happy.
Women aren't that big on looks, my brother
is a tubby ugly arrogant ass - but he gets
lots of women, because he's confident and
he can make them laugh .
Your not a big Loser, and no I'm not sugar
coating anything for you. I'm giving it to
you how it is. Your really just feeling a
bit down because it sucks not getting
laid. It's alright tho - I guarantee -
just keep living a healthy lifestyle and
things will come naturally!
Honestly, it's much easier to ask a girl
out then to kill yourself. Let me tell you
something Kevin - you can ask out any girl
you want - there's no rules,
no standards, nothing. You don't even half
to know her name.
anyways.. there's really way to much your
gonna learn over the next few years for me
to try and explain. But I'm telling you
one thing- IT GETS BETTER - KEEP TRYING.
|
KNB89
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 25 Jul 2007 Posts: 31
Posted: 07-26-07 20:21pm
Thanks for the kind words everyone. They
kind of consoled me lol. Sometimes I just
hit a slump and want to give up. Last
night was one of em. I'll just keep going
though. I really hope things get better =/
|
Catcher
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 08 May 2007 Posts: 24
Posted: 07-26-07 20:44pm
Hey there man, I know exactly how you
feel. My life is exatly how your is. WHen
I'm at school I just sit there like an
android and not talk to anyone. I then
come home sit on the computer a couple of
hours and go to sleep. I am so depressed I
can't stand it anymore. I would kill
myself but I can't hurt my parents, plus I
at least think one day things could get
better.
So keep thinking good thoughts and just
wait till High School is over, then forget
all about it and start a great new life
man.
Good luck in the future too.
|
KNB89
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 25 Jul 2007 Posts: 31
Posted: 07-26-07 22:14pm
ya man same exact daily stuff for me...
i dont understand though. i'm like
friendly with almost everyone, but not
friends with anyone. It just kinda hurts..
I just found your post, i woulda posted on
mixing substances but that was locked. I
know how you feel, i had no friends in
highschool i had trust issues and stuff.
junior yr wasnt that bad of a yr but
senior yr was by far the worst, i went to
school came home went to work. and that is
what idid. same thing different day is all
it was, i had no friends there, i really
didnt want any they all seemed stuck up.
Self image issues, well truthfully i was
anorexic at the time i just didnt wanna
tell myself i was or get help for it at
the time . so i was more into my not
eating and stuff to worry about friends or
people for that matter, i was not and am
not a mean person, im prob one of the most
caring people ever, i love to help people
and give advice if i can, im always here
to listen and offer any advice if i can,
been there done that kinda sorta thing, i
used to cut, cant say im cured, but i
havent cut since march. I tried to
overdose on pain killers once, before i
had kids that is , i was living at my
sisters, i did have a bf but he seemed to
care only about his games and computer and
not me and my bills were a mess and my
life just felt like an over all mess. but
im glad that it didnt kill me otherwise
iwouldnt be here now, 3 yrs later with a
wonderful husband who is away at war at
the moment and 2 beautiful kids and a dog.
you cant see your future but i can promise
it gets better.
im like you im not one to open up in
person but i can write and write for days.
maybe you can keep a journal of everything
. You should really see a professional ,
even keep the journal and then bring it
in, i was in therapy, and it helped
although most of the time i sat quietly
and shrugged my shoulders, eventually i
opened up alittle more. they might even
suggest trying antidepressants or
something along those lines. hope your
doing ok, if you ever need to talk you can
feel free to PM me. i am on quite a bit
since myt husband is gone so im here to
listen
Diane
|
Shorty123
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 31 Jul 2007 Posts: 31 Location: United States
Posted: 08-01-07 20:28pm
i maybe only 13 but i know how you feel
when i was in school its summer now i
would just sit there i wouldnt talk to
anyone and when i got home i would go to
my room and just sit there my mothers a
truck driver so i didnt see her much i
would just sit in my room i wouldnt watch
tv or play games i always had this feeling
inside me it was like it just stayed there
it felt horrible and then i started
cutting to get rid of the feeling i
thought of suicide but i just started
cutting but dont start cutting its hard to
stop and i hav to keep cutting deeper and
deeper to get rid of this feeling you
really should write your feelings down it
does help or this might sound weird but go
run i do it it helps keep my mind off of
things just remeber there are people out
there who know what you feel so bye
|
KNB89
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 25 Jul 2007 Posts: 31
Posted: 08-01-07 22:05pm
tinkinpink84
wrote:
i was not and am not a mean
person, im prob one of the most caring
people ever, i love to help people and
give advice if i
can
thats kinda how i am... sometimes i think
i'm 2 nice lol
|
young Girl
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Jun 2007 Posts: 13932 Location: everythings better in, texas USA
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
Posted: 08-01-07 22:11pm
hey kev
lol you dont mind me calling you kev do
you?
anyways
well. you play football and your athletic
which is a plus
your a nice guys and apparently have a
good head on your shoulders so thats
another plus
youve opened uo and are trying to get help
and not being stubborn and closed up like
most boys are which is another plus
you have a job...plus plus plus
you have an A+ in my book hun
hope things get better for ya
|
KNB89
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 25 Jul 2007 Posts: 31
Posted: 08-02-07 00:25am
Liesss lol,
i've kinda just given up on girls haha
o well...
|
Aryeani
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 10 Feb 2007 Posts: 128 Location: Edinburg, Texas, United States
Posted: 08-02-07 02:22am
KNB89
wrote:
Liesss lol,
i've kinda just given up on girls haha
o well... whatever f**k dem
jewish american princesssss's at my school
l
Who says she has to go to your school?
There's more girls out there than just the
ones we find in school. Sometimes it's
even better that way. Just go out and look
around. You'll find plenty of nice girls.
That's how I met my bf. We both went to
different high schools, but met outside of
school and have been together for almost a
year and a half now.
i was not and am not a mean
person, im prob one of the most caring
people ever, i love to help people and
give advice if i
can
thats kinda how i am... sometimes i think
i'm 2 nice
lol
yeah same here, my sister says i tend to
let people walk all over me. but its hard
to change that.
|
everyday_struggle
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 30 Jul 2007 Posts: 304
Posted: 08-02-07 12:35pm
KNB89
wrote:
Liesss lol,
i've kinda just given up on girls haha
o well...
kevin,
females are like animals (lol, no offense
ladies) they can detect fear. You have got
to build up that self confidence and smile
at them. If you want a girl, keep doing
what your doing as far as physical
athletics is concerned (every girl just
like every guy likes a nice body). Even
though all girls are different they all
want the same thing. A nice guy that takes
good care of himself and has some kind of
goals in his life(very important), also a
guy that knows how to love. Because if you
cant love yourself, how are you going to
love her? Unfortuntely, life doesnt get
better, it only gets harder, but not
necessarily worse. I am a guy and ive been
through what your going through, probably
worse, because atleast you have a roof
over your head and family around. I didnt.
Id rather not discuss it in here but you
can always pm me, if you need to clear
your head.
|
KNB89
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 25 Jul 2007 Posts: 31
Posted: 08-03-07 22:22pm
i honestly just give up for real.
i used to be a christian, but am now an
aethiest because god is a crule
motherf**ker.
So I NEVER EVER get invited to do s**t
right? Like I went to one baseball game
during the summer and thats it really.
So like tuesday i was visiting colleges
and i get invited to go see a movie with a
ton of people. Lucky me I'm f**king six
hours away in Pittsburgh. I woulda made
back in time to if my mom hadn't made me
visit the business school like 2 hours
after the normal tour was over. I didnt
even want to f**king go. We get back about
20 minutes from the time the movie
started... fantastic.
Tonight I f**king am at work and get
invited to go to a pool party type thing
right? Well were supposed to leave at 9
and we were still puting out orders after
f**king nine and i'm the motherf**cking
dishwasher which means I'm there for a
while. I literally went crazy at nine
because I was gonna jet over to this kids
house and hang out for a bit. I dont
remember what happened at all between 9
and 9:25 i just kept thinking to myself
God f**king sucks for doing this to me. 2
times in ONE WEEK which is more s**t then
I've been invited to during the entire
summer. I mean by the time i got to the
kids house 3 people peaced right when I
got there and everyone else left 30
minutes later. I honestly just give up.
Maybe I'm just crazy, I just got in a huge
argument with my dad and literally said
F**K you to him and ment it and when he
told to apoligize I couldn't.
Life f**king sucks, or maybe I'm just a
big baby but this has completely changed
my view on god because he is one cruel
motherf**ker.
|
Magical Logic
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 14 Mar 2006 Posts: 2248
Posted: 08-03-07 22:28pm
life has its ups and downs.10 years from
now you will look back and laugh about
these things.
Its not god that is a cruel m*ther f*cker.
Its just life sometimes.
|
KNB89
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 25 Jul 2007 Posts: 31
Posted: 08-03-07 22:34pm
ya well life has sucked for about the last
three or so years and now this s**t
happens? i give up
|
Shorty123
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 31 Jul 2007 Posts: 31 Location: United States
Posted: 08-04-07 21:12pm
kevin i use to be a christian to but like
you i dont believe in him before a lot of
crap has happened to me and i just quit
believeing i know what youre going through
|
KNB89
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 25 Jul 2007 Posts: 31
Posted: 08-04-07 22:16pm
i was being REALLY petty when i wrote that
last post...
i don't know life really does just suck
sometimes though