Pardon my spelling, I know it's bad =). Anyway, I have had Kidney disease all my life, I had a transplant when I was seven, but it failed when I was 17, and so Ive been on Hemo-Dyalsys since, but I have bad reactions to the treatment, every time I come off the machine my blood Pressure usually goes to 190-200 / 90-116, and the doctors have tried everything, they said it was anxiety, so they gave me medications that seemed to work for a bit but it doesnt stop the Blood pressure so now, I dont show up to every treatment, because im scared that something will happen on the machine, and the transplant team in my area pretty much refuses to even put me on a list that will take upto 2 years, and it's not because of my health, so I looked into Pertonial Dyalsys, but because of the amount of surgery Ive had on that area, it's only 40% that it will work and it might fail so bad that I will have organ damage, Im guess im just trying to say im tired of being scared to go, Im gonna try the surgery, but in the mean time if that fails, im 19 and I cant focus I cant even walk around the f**** block im tired of feeling sick Ive not felt even remotely well, I feel if it keeps up like this im gonna die, but as of the way things are right now I might as well be dead, because Ive not had anything thats helped me out, and for the most part the blame has been on me, but Im sure if the doctors have lived the last two years the way I have Im sure they would agree with what I have to say... anyway, anyone care to lend some advice because im at the end of my rope, im way to frustrated