Incoming Freshman...the Pressures On.

Im 14 years old and there are somedays where i think im in good shape...
then there are days where i feel i should lose 5 or 10 pounds really quick.

about a month ago i was bulimic for about 3 weeks.
there were days where i would never eat and if i did i threw it up.
i stole diet pills from my cabinet and i pretty much had no food in my body.
after 3 weeks of this i had a dance camp to go to and
i almost passed out from the lack of food i had in my body.
it was a dance camp where we danced from 9-4.
i stopped that day and started eating normally again.
2 weeks of dance camp and i was fully eating and fine.
now that dance camp is over,
im pretty much at home all the time doing nothing
just like i was during that time where i was bulimic.
ive already started taking the pills again every day or so.
i dont know what i should do.
i dont want to go back to what i was doing before...
i never told my parents.
i only told my closest friends.
i know 3 weeks isnt a long time but it did affect me alot.
i mean i dont believe im overweight.
but when your about to go into highschool,
there are so many pressures with having the "perfect" body.
and i thought getting skinnier would help me feel better about myself
but it made me feel extremely worse.

those 3 weeks were the worst days of my life.
i felt horrible about myself.
the depression hurt me really bad.
and i would cry alot.
i just want to tell people that you shouldnt go bulimic, anorexic
or any other kind of eating disorders to get skinny.
you may be as skinny as you wanted to be.
but youll hate yourself.
all youll think about is getting skinnier and skinnier.
and you feel alone all the time.
Please dont do it.
Eating disorders are very addictive.
some people dont think so but they really are.

I Dont know if diet pills will hurt me too bad cuz i dont take too many.
But I Hate being overly obbessive with my body.
how do i deal with this?
do i still have an eating disorder if i take the pills?