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Can the Doctor Tell If You're a Virgin ? (Page 1)

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I'm asking this question probably for the opposite reason most people ask. Most are embarassed because they have had sex. I am embarassed because I haven't at my age.

I don't want to hear that doctors don't judge (trust me some do) and that I need to tell the doctor the truth, etc. I just want an honest answer to my question.

I've been having issues lately but am too embarassed to visit the gyn. I went once years ago and it was horrid. I always figured I was safe not going back since I'm not sexually active but now things have come up (severe lower abdominal pain and, uh, stuff) and I'm afraid they will want to do a pelvic exam.
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replied July 24th, 2007
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This question comes up a lot, and it seems a lot of people do not have a straight answer.

I don't think the doctor can tell whether or not a woman is sexually active unless the woman had a baby, is currently pregnant, or has an STD. I have a friend who's a doctor, and he said he does not think they can tell either (he's obviously not an ob-gyn though). Laughing

At any rate, I do not think the doctor can tell because sex does not stretch the vagina out. The vagina still looks the same whether the woman has had sex or not.

The state of the hymen is also not an indication of the woman's sexual history since hymens may stay intact even after sex, or they may tear in childhood from something as innocent as running and jumping.
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replied July 25th, 2007
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Why was your visit to the gyno so bad? I've been many times and it's not my favorite but I'd rather go there than the dentist.... lol

It really helps if you look around and find a gyno that you like (though you may have to see some you don't like first to get to her) and then stick with her. I have found one that I get along with really well and she makes me feel really comfortable.


I think the only way a doctor would be able to tell if you were a virgin would be if you had a very intact hymen (in a way that a penis wouldn't have been able to enter) but that also probably means you wouldn't be able to use tampons and is pretty unlikely.

However, the doc will probably ask you if you are sexually active, and saying no is easier than saying yes because then they'll want to ask you about sti's, birth control, etc.
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replied July 26th, 2007
I have heard before that the vagina doesn't stretch out unless you have had a baby, but then I've heard some guys claim they can tell. So if they can tell I don't see how a doctor couldn't. Unless they are lying. I have also heard a tampon won't break the hymen and that it will so it's hard to know what to believe. I don't have insurance, so I can't afford to doctor shop to find one I like. It's not likely I'd like any of them anyway. I just don't like doctors in general. Thank you for the responses. They're the most intelligent ones I've gotten on this matter so far.
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replied July 26th, 2007
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Hello there! Sounds to me like you have had a few bad experiences with doctors offices. Your local health department has nurse practioners who I have found to be very nice, attentive and undderstanding. Can you not go and talk to someone here, explain to them that you are having problems. Its an honorable thing to be a virgin, so don't ever be ashamed! As for guys lying telling and girl your all stretched out...they've shrunk! Thats BS. Talk to these people that you go to and be upfront with them explaining you are somewhat embarrassed, I am sure they will be understanding to you. Not all doctors are alike. I love my OBGYN, my family practioner and my dentist. It took me a long time to find them, I too had some bad experiences, but they are there to help you! Hope you find a good one!
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replied July 26th, 2007
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notyet1966 wrote:
I have heard before that the vagina doesn't stretch out unless you have had a baby, but then I've heard some guys claim they can tell. So if they can tell I don't see how a doctor couldn't. Unless they are lying. I have also heard a tampon won't break the hymen and that it will so it's hard to know what to believe. I don't have insurance, so I can't afford to doctor shop to find one I like. It's not likely I'd like any of them anyway. I just don't like doctors in general. Thank you for the responses. They're the most intelligent ones I've gotten on this matter so far.


I agree, there is a lot of information out there, and it is tough to know what is right and what is not.

A tampon can tear the hymen since it is usually very delicate.

"Many girls and teens tear or otherwise dilate their hymen while participating in sports like bicycling, horseback riding, gymnastics or inserting tampons, or while masturbating."
http://www.coolnurse.com/hymen.htm

Men can often feel when a woman is tight or loose. Many people mistakingly assume she is tight if she is inexperienced or loose if she is experienced. That's not the way it works though. The vagina expands when we are in the mood. So women can feel very different based on how in the mood and lubricated they are. So a woman could feel very loose during one sexual encounter, then very tight during another sexual encounter the very next day!

"The vagina does stretch with introduction of penis, fingers, or foreign objects, but returns to normal with their removal. The vaginal tissue will stretch and was designed to. It will not cause permanent stretching."
http://www.wellness.gatech.edu/ask/3_dr_bu zzy_answers/Sexuality_Reproductive_Health/ Masturbation/stretchvagina.php
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replied July 26th, 2007
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how old are you??

You should not be ashamed to say you are virgin. I personally when I was virgin told the doctor because i wanted to make sure they were going to be very gentle with the speculum. Either way this is medical and the doctor should know the thruth so he can do an accurate diagnose..like if you say you are virgin the doctor can rule out the cause of pain to come from an std and such..and like the other poster said, there is many doctors so keep trying until you find one that you feel comfortable. One thing I did when selecting my ob/gyn, I google searched for gyn offices in the city then I looked their websites and see their pics and read their bios, and then choose whoever I feel could be a good one. So when I saw the doctor it was no surprise.

good luck!
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replied July 26th, 2007
I tried the truth before and felt like a freak and that was 6 years or so ago. So now it'd be worse. If they can't tell, what is the marital introitus I've read about? I really need to quit obsessing about this I guess. Thanks for your replies.
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replied July 27th, 2007
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notyet1966 wrote:
I tried the truth before and felt like a freak and that was 6 years or so ago. So now it'd be worse. If they can't tell, what is the marital introitus I've read about? I really need to quit obsessing about this I guess. Thanks for your replies.


Well I'm not really sure what marital introitus is.... I know that introitus is a word for the opening of the vagina.

On doing a difficult google search, I found the only time marital introitus is used as a phrase, it is when a female has been circumsized, and her sewn up vagina is opened up for the sake of having sex once she is married. So it is her "marital opening?" I'm not really sure, but that's the best I can guess. I think it doesn't apply to women who have not been circumsized.

How would they be able to tell if you had sex or just used a vibrator? There is no difference in the mechanics. I don't think they'd be able to tell. But be prepared for them to ask.


*Edited to add that I'm really just making an educated guess on the marital introitus thing, so if someone else knows more that'd be great.....
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replied July 27th, 2007
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The definitive answer.

No, a doctor can not tell by looking at the vagina that you are or are not a virgin.

Marital Introitus is the old (typically eastern) idea that a woman should bleed her first time due to the hymen tearing.

This is totally incorrect because many women are born without a hymen (myself included), whilst others tear or stretch theirs through the use of tampons, self masturbation, sports, gymnastics, dance, etc.

some women who have torn/stretched/never had their hymen still bleed the first time they have sex, while others who have an intact hymen don't bleed at all their first time.

Only you and your sexual partner/s (or anyone who has watched if you so chose) can ever know if you are really a virgin or not.

Your doctor will not think you "odd" in any way for being a virgin, nor will you be judged for not being a virgin.
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replied July 28th, 2007
In regards to stretching and guys being able to tell....I could notice sometimes when me and my girl didn't have sex for a while and we did it again it WAS much more noticably tighter then usual. But the nights after that first time after the break were not as tight. There's more of a squeeze to it I noticed if we took some time off.
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replied July 29th, 2007
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Tarheelmbs wrote:
In regards to stretching and guys being able to tell....I could notice sometimes when me and my girl didn't have sex for a while and we did it again it WAS much more noticably tighter then usual. But the nights after that first time after the break were not as tight. There's more of a squeeze to it I noticed if we took some time off.


Once again....

The tightness of a woman's vagina has nothing to do with her level of sexual experience. Her vagina will not be looser if she has been having lots of sex. Nor will it be tight if she is a virgin.

A vagina may seem looser if the woman is more aroused, as her body is ready to invite in a penis. (Or whatever.) But sex does not change a vagina.

Childbirth, maybe. Sex, no. Vaginas are very very stretchy things and always bounce right back after sex.
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replied July 29th, 2007
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Yeah, dude, on the whole tighter without sex thing; I'd say it was all in your head with the lack of. Though of course there's nothing wrong with that seeing as your perception of everything is in your head/heart/whatever.


But on the topic. I have heard that they might be able to tell if you have had anything inside of your vagina not because of tightness; but because of bruises. My older sister, though not the greatest source, had told me that these bruises would last up to twelve years. I didn't know as much then as I did now, but I avoided the check up because I didn't want the doctor to know about things from long ago.

Is it true though that you'll be bruised inside and that they last, even if not for as long? Can these doctors tell if you're bruised?

And if you've never had sex, when should you first go to an ob/gyn?
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replied July 29th, 2007
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No, bruises do not last for 12 years or anything ridiculous like that. Why do you think it's so imperative that women who are raped go immediately to a hospital and get checked out? That's because bruises don't last that long. Bruises in the vagina and on the vulva go away just as quickly as one on your knee or shoulder. Weeks, not years.
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replied July 29th, 2007
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i think a woman might be tight her first time because of nerves and inexperience. if you aren't sure what to expect and are maybe expecting some pain, of course you are going to be tighter than usual. whereas a woman who knows and welcomes sex may be more turned on and be better lubricated, making her vagina seem less tight. it doesn't matter how much sex you have if you have strong kegel muscles anyway. and as for the doctor. i went to see a male doctor for an internal once and when he asked me if i was sexually active i said no and he said "hmph, yeah right". i walked out of there and didn't let him examine me. i felt disrespected and asked if i could see someone else and made sure to say why. i ended up seeing a female nurse practitioner and we got on just fine. the doctor needs to respect you and listen to you if you want to get adequate care from them. if you can't answer their questions honestly they aren't going to be able to diagnose you properly.
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replied July 30th, 2007
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Oh my! That is so offensive! >:O
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replied July 30th, 2007
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Some say that if you are not sexually active, you are supposed to go when you're 18. Some say 21. But if you ever have concerns, you should start going right away because you don't want to let things get worse!!

I would be so mad if a doc said that to me. I only see women. Not that all men would be offensive like that, but it just makes me more comfortable.

And I have never heard that bruises in the vagina last any longer than any other bruises.

I've never had a doc who was judgmental about my sexual experience, so I've always been honest. It would be hard to do that if I had been through such judgment from a doc.
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replied August 7th, 2007
No, the doctor will not be able to tell if you're a virgin but quite frankly with so many STDs out there, he or she should be thrilled that you are. Outside of that, you should really, really see your gyn once a year if you're over 21 regardless of whether you're sexually active or not. One of the many reason for a yearly exam is to detect problems that could develop into cervical cancer among others. Good luck.
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replied August 7th, 2007
I didn't think cervical cancer was an issue if you haven't had sex. It's almost always caused by HPV, which is sexually transmitted. But yeah I know all the reasons why you should go and I have just as many reasons for putting it off.
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replied August 7th, 2007
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kaerbear wrote:
i think a woman might be tight her first time because of nerves and inexperience. if you aren't sure what to expect and are maybe expecting some pain, of course you are going to be tighter than usual. whereas a woman who knows and welcomes sex may be more turned on and be better lubricated, making her vagina seem less tight. it doesn't matter how much sex you have if you have strong kegel muscles anyway. and as for the doctor. i went to see a male doctor for an internal once and when he asked me if i was sexually active i said no and he said "hmph, yeah right". i walked out of there and didn't let him examine me. i felt disrespected and asked if i could see someone else and made sure to say why. i ended up seeing a female nurse practitioner and we got on just fine. the doctor needs to respect you and listen to you if you want to get adequate care from them. if you can't answer their questions honestly they aren't going to be able to diagnose you properly.


wow that's crazy..good thing you step away
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