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Q: Surviving Mid-life Divorce
asked by: queenblight on July 24th, 2007
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Hello
I'm 39 years old. My husband caught me cheating on him with one of his friends (gosh I'm a trash) which was also happily married. I started seeing this guy on some factory opening cocktail party, I knew him and he knew me we got drunk that night and we ended up in a hotel.Because I was in another city I didnt think that Tony will ever find out . Well he found out, and he hired detectives to follow me and tape me.Now the guy is getting a divorce too. We have 2 beautiful kids a girl and a boy and I threw it all away... Sad Oh my god while I'm typing I cant believe what have I done with my life... He treated me like a queen, we trusted eachother completly, the sex was great, he was well situated and respected man. I made a mess ,brought shame and darkness to our family... Now he's gonna get the kids
Crying or Very sad All his family hate me now, and if you believe me I cant stand looking myself in the mirror, I'm not sure what I'm gonna do... I jsut wish to go back in time somehow and change it all. Tried to talk to him to give me a second chance but he said that I desecrated his most precious thing in his life.. on this world - his family...our family.. Crying or Very sad Is so hard it just seems there is no way out... And there isnt a way out..
I needed to write this down... Tnx for the time .. If you have any advice
please write.. I'm suicidal sigh!
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byron p
replied on August 3rd, 2007
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Re: Surviving Mid-life Divorce
queenblight wrote:
Hello
I'm 39 years old. My husband caught me cheating on him with one of his friends (gosh I'm a trash) which was also happily married. I started seeing this guy on some factory opening cocktail party, I knew him and he knew me we got drunk that night and we ended up in a hotel.Because I was in another city I didnt think that Tony will ever find out . Well he found out, and he hired detectives to follow me and tape me.Now the guy is getting a divorce too. We have 2 beautiful kids a girl and a boy and I threw it all away... Sad Oh my god while I'm typing I cant believe what have I done with my life... He treated me like a queen, we trusted eachother completly, the sex was great, he was well situated and respected man. I made a mess ,brought shame and darkness to our family... Now he's gonna get the kids
Crying or Very sad All his family hate me now, and if you believe me I cant stand looking myself in the mirror, I'm not sure what I'm gonna do... I jsut wish to go back in time somehow and change it all. Tried to talk to him to give me a second chance but he said that I desecrated his most precious thing in his life.. on this world - his family...our family.. Crying or Very sad Is so hard it just seems there is no way out... And there isnt a way out..
I needed to write this down... Tnx for the time .. If you have any advice
please write.. I'm suicidal sigh!





Well, first of all if your feeling suicidal I would seek help!!! Talk to a counsler or a unbiast freind. Second, we all make mistakes in life we are human. unfortunately your husband will not forgive you. I have been married thirteen years and if my wife was curious and stepped out I would forgive her. That makes me wonder if your husband truly loved you? Im not trying to hurt your feeling at all, but if you really love someone unconditionally you will find ways to work through your problems know matter how big of small.
If getting back together is not an option don't give up hope. Never give up!!! It will take some time but I asure you some day you will fall in love again.
best of luck
bp
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queenblight
replied on August 6th, 2007
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thank you byron but movin forward with my life or even resolving anything right now just seems impossible .
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DPantelones
replied on December 11th, 2007
Experienced User
Byron
Byron, really? If your wife stepped out, had sex with someone and you found out, all would be right in your world still? I think you better think on that statement for awhile! All sorts of things come into play....trust being the major one!

Queenblight, I know this response to you is a few months late, sorry...but I think you need to get some things right before you go back asking your husband to forgive you...like "WHY" did you do what you did? Do you have a problem @ home, or with alcohol? We don't do things like that without some sort of "motivation"...

I hope all is well....
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krism1
replied on April 7th, 2008
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Queen- Everything happens for a reason. You need to seriosuly sit down with a therapist and go through it all. It might take a little while, but you will definitely feel better about things. Be open and honest with your husband and kids, as of right now. At least you realize it was all wrong and you made a mistake. My father left my mother a few years ago for a woman and he doesn't believe he did anything wrong! You are halfway to making everything better for yourself. good luck
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