don't assume it has anything to do with you. maybe she has changed and maybe she feels less connection to you because of that. i don't think that her emails are phoney, they are probably heartfelt, but it could be that in her day to day life, she has different needs or wants from a friend. i'm not trying to sound harsh or anything, i've been through things like this myself and wondered what was wrong with me. i've come to realise that people just grow apart sometimes. the older you get, the more it will happen. when your lifestyle changes, as it may when you get married or have children or make some other major change in your life, you just relate to people on a different level. some friendships survive this and some don't. there are also friendships where two people can be apart for years at a time and then be just like no time has passed when they get together again. there are no rules to these things. i'm sure she isn't meaning to hurt you deliberately. i can understand how you would be hurt by it though. if you were to mention it to her, i don't think it should be in an accusatory way at all. maybe just ask her if there is some reason why she doesn't feel like hanging out anymore and mention that you have felt a little left out lately. it depends on the kind of person she is, how she would respond to that. i have a really good friend whom i just don't see as much as i used to because she broke up with her longtime boyfriend and i am pregnant. she is career focused and dating right now, while i am starting a family and have a longterm relationship. we're just in two different places right now, but i am able to come out and say that and we don't feel bad about not spending a lot of time together. that way we can do things together ocassionally without feeling awkward about how long it has been since we last saw each other.

If it were me, I'd give her the benefit of the doubt and tell her what's going on- just stick to facts, keep the emotions out of it. Send her an email; that way you can be controlled and cool and keep it unemotional.

Maybe she doesn't even know.

Maybe she does, and she's not a friend any longer.

Or...I sense a little resentment coming your way for her lifestyle change. Maybe she's picked up on that?

People can change. Friendships sometimes evolve. It might be time for her to move on, for whatever reason, and like kaerbear said, it might not have a thing to do with you.

Best of luck!

I've lost touch with a Friend that I've known since I was 6 years old, I'm now 39 .... I haven't seen her since I got married nearly 2 years ago .... She was my Matron of Honor on our wedding day .... when we came back off our Honeymoon ... I called her to tell her all about it, she was down and depresssed. Whilst I was away, she and her partner broke up, he'd been hitting her and she dumped him... I wanted to go over to her straight away, but she said she was going out with a friend of hers that night.. I told her that I'd be there for her if she needed a friend, she said she'd call me back, she didn't, so I called her, she answered, and gave an excuse that she was just on her way out again, that she'd call me back, she didn't, I'm persistant, so I called her..she sounded distant, I thought that she may have been jealous, cos I was happy, and her 'world' had fallen apart.. I tried to speak to her, "nothing will change between us girls now I'm married mate". She didn't say anything, just that she just didn't need anybody to fuss around her, she wanted to sort things out in her head... so I gave her the distance she requested... a couple of months later, I was rushed into hospital for an emergency discectomy, I asked Mike to notify all my mates, that for them not to worry, and I'll see them when I get out of hospital .. so he did, including Karen, all my mates called Mike with get well wishes for me, and some came in to see me, even tho, I didn't like visitors to see me in such a crap way, it was good to see thier smiles and chocolatey gifts...
On the operating table, the surgion cut thru a blood vessel accidently, and I lost nearly 6 pints of blood .. I make jokes about it now, cos I'm clumsey, and it said it was my fault he'd spilt my blood all over the floor. However, that man saved my life.
When I got out of hospital, Mike told me that Karen hadn't called, so I was upset that she didn't care, I got angry with the thought that she'd thrown our friendship on the dump, so I called her, she said she didn't know anything about me being in hospital, however, the read reciept on my Mobile phone says different... I asked her how she was, and she was telling me all about her, her new man etc... to be honest, I didn't want to know after the way she dismissed me so easily.
I learnt that she was no friend, cos a good friend wouldn't have made a play for the man you were just about to marry, Mike told me about her, he tried to warn me, it wasn't till he spilt the beans, the penny dropped, one night before our wedding, she asked him over to her house, and he'd rejected her, telling her that he loved me..and there's no way he'd be unfaithful.. I called her to ask her if it were true, she didn't deny it, she just said, "oohh yeah, I was drunk, and I was testing him". I no longer want that woman anywhere near me or my family, cos if after all these years, she was that selfish and jealous, than I don't need that type of woman as a friend....if anything, I dare her to even darken our doorstep.

I have many of good friends now, on a social scale and in this forum which is world wide, I'm a strong person, and I don't depend on anyone, but there are times when a good natter or a good cry with a friend or my Husband is paramount.