I Dont Want to Start Cutting Again Posted: 07-22-07 15:40pm
I'm 15, nearly 16. Since I was about 13
I've often felt really down with no self
esteem for long periods of time. I cant
really explain it but when I get like it I
feel really bad ALL the time and nothing
seems to have any point to it anymore.
I've never been diagnosed with depression
but I think it could be. My cousin has
recently been diagnosed with it and my
aunt used to suffer from it so it would
make sense. It normally lasts for a few
months and then gradually gets better but
this winter I got it really bad. It lasted
for about 8 months and I felt worse than I
ever had done before.
I was also self harming. I'd done it a
couple of times before but this time I was
doing it much more. All the time I felt
depressed I was cutting myself but no one
ever found out. As I started to feel
better I thought I'd be able to stop but I
couldn't. I wasn't doing it as much as I
used to but I was still doing it at least
once or twice a week, even though I didnt
feel depressed anymore. Then I found other
people at school who were doing it. We
talked about it loads and all kind of
agreed on everything. This just made me
feel like it was normal and made it even
harder to stop. I didn't feel that I
needed to anymore. Eventually I stopped
talking to the other people and managed to
stop.
Now I've started feeling bad again though.
I don't feel as bad as I did last time but
I'm worried that it's gonna get worse. I'm
really trying to fight it and stay strong
because I really dont want to go though
that again. I had felt much happier and
much more confident and I really dont want
to feel like that again. I keep thinking
about cutting again though. I haven't
started again yet but I'm worried that if
I start feeling worse then I'll start
again. I just so badly dont want to do it
again, I feel like if I start again or
even if I feel depressed again then I dont
know when it will stop. Every time I get
it it seems to be worse than the last
time. Because I dont feel too bad at the
moment can I stop it before it gets bad
again?
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young Girl
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Jun 2007 Posts: 13932 Location: everythings better in, texas USA
Posted: 07-22-07 15:46pm
stop it!
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Gaz2007
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 20 Jul 2007 Posts: 6
Posted: 07-23-07 04:23am
When ever you feel the urge to cut, just
put your hands in a bowl full of freezing
cold water untill you can't stand it
anymore. You get the same feeling as
cutting, but with no longterm dammage.
You should also seek professional help.
Take care, kid.
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Kureji
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 29 Jul 2007 Posts: 14 Location: TN
Posted: 07-29-07 00:58am
I have a similar problem I just recently
started trying to stop.. ever since I was
a young depressed kid (I've been depressed
my entire life), I would destroy and rip
and shred my finger and toe nails with
whatever sharp objects I could. I felt
better when I damaged them, but I know
it's harmful and it looks awful. Just
recently I decided to stop for good, every
time I feel my hands getting close to each
other (I do it nearly subconsciously now),
I will catch myself and simply focus on
putting my hands back away so I can't
scratch my nails off again with something.
It's all about will, you just have to
catch yourself before you do it, and
simply think to yourself. "I'm not going
to do this." It's what I'm trying, maybe
it'll work for you.
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flyingsolo
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 Jul 2005 Posts: 6
Posted: 10-21-07 21:48pm
it is not the cutting that is the problem.
its the depression. when you can make that
go away forever is when you will truly be
free. if I knew more about your situation
maybe I could help more. It also sounds
like you might have seasonal affective
disorder (seasonal depression), which is
fairly common. If you are comfortable
enough, I would recommend telling a
psychiatrist and getting them to subscribe
medication which can help you a lot.
