My Bipolar Boyfreind Just Left Me

The first thing you should probably do is basically stop questioning, or ask why. I had to do this to move on from my relationship with a bp person. You just have to take it one day at a time and try your hardest not to make any sense of it, it just won't make sense. I would wait until he comes out of his mania phase, since that seems like what could have happened, then talk to him about bp. As i always say in nearly any post i make, seek professional help on dealing with this. It will make things so much easier. I am glad you have found the forum, its a big help. Situations like the one you described will certainly make you decide whether you want to deal with the bp or not. Each direction is wonderful, but one is harder. It will come to a point where you have to ask yourself if the love you have is worth it, and even so you have got to be prepared for a life full of bp related stress if you make the committment.(maybe). He will come to his senses, but when he does you have got to make sure he knows that you have a heart and you can't handle what he puts out. Make sure you care for you. Good luck.

Thank you for replying to my message. I know i need to stop questioning but its very hard. I have been to see my Doctor and he is referring me to see someone to talk about it. My bf, is also seeing a shrink just now, but im hoping that once he is able to talk, we could maybe go together.
He has been going through the diagnosis for BP for around 6 months and in this time i have spent countless hours reading up on the disorder, so i am prepared for the rollercoaster that may lead ahead. I know that i am ready to deal with this and i know that i love unconditionally. It all just comes down him deciding if he wants to be with me or if he has just had too much and wants to go it alone. I want to be there for him whatever the outcome.

I feel confused again....after not seeing him for 5 weeks since we spilt up, i spoke to him yesterday. We had a proper heart to heart and told each other how we felt and he told me why he left.
He told me he still loved me, and there had been no problem with us as a couple, but it was more of the right person but wrong timing. He wants me to be in his life, and does not want to loose me as his best friend. He cannot see a future for himself, but he thinks is does not want a serious relationship as he needs to find out who he his, and staying with me, he thinks that this is not possible.
He is thinking of moving in with our best friend, and taking each day as it comes.
He told me that he was not ready to go and look for someone else to start dating, as he cares for me too much. So in my eyes i still cannot see why we cant be together. I wouldnt mind him moving in with our best mate, he moved out of our house when we spilt up, but if we still were together and he lived with our friend to give us space, he could find out who he was without the added pressure of living with his girlfriend. From what he says, leaving me was the hardest thing he has done, so i cannot make sense of it.

I really need more advice as i am so confused. Somebody please help me. Should i talk to him about giving it a go, but staying seperate, or should i wait and see what he thinks? Because of his BP i dont want to push it. Let me know what you think.

Hello. When I read your post, my head was spinning. From what you have described, we have just been through VERY similar situations. My husband of two-years just up and packed up and left while I was on a weekend trip. We had a great marriage and we were each other's best friend. All he left was his wedding ring and a long, robotic letter, telling me the same things your boyfriend said to you: "It's not you, it's me." "I don't want any responsibilities." "You have been a great wife and companion. This has nothing to do with anything you have done. I am just ready to move on." "I need to live alone."

It was devastating and shocking and horrifying. He has been gone three weeks now and he has just walked out and gotten an apartment 15 minutes away and is acting like our life here never existed!

My husband is diagnosed with depression, not bipolar disorder. However, due to this extreme move and many other factors, I am almost certain that he is actually bipolar. I sought the opinion of a therapist, and she thinks the same thing.

When I read your post, I almost felt as though I had written it. I will keep you in my prayers and hope that all works out for you, the way it should. I really have no answers for what you should do - obviously, since I am in the same position. I just wanted to write you and let you know that there is someone else out there who understands your pain.

I met a man about 6 months ago. He was up front and honest that he had bipolar disorder. He also told me he had tried to commit suicide the year before. Unfortunately, I was not deterred, we started dating. He was taking Lithium and anti-depressants, he stopped. I can see by what I have read that this relationship will probably go no where. In the beginning, he was so nice, next thing, he loved me. Then he began talking about marriage. I should have known better (I'm 42), but I fell for it. Soon after we became intimate, it slowly got worse, to the point we now are no longer intimate. He claims he is sick, but usually seems fine. He will not have sex with me at all, it almost seems he totally avoids any close contact. A hug now, or kiss is like I'm his sister. When I try to discuss it, he accuses me of being interested in sex only, so then I end up feeling guilty. I also see he has a bad temper. He can just blow up. Not like he'll hit me, but throw something or shout. I feel like he plays mind games, things get turned around and are suddenly my fault. One day he says that maybe we are too different and can't make it, the next day, wrote a note saying I didn't know if we would make it and he said he was "hurt". The last straw was I visited him tonight. He now acts funny about me staying over, so I had asked if it was ok. He said yes. Later in the evening, I thought he was acting strange, like his moods changed, so I said are you sure it's ok if I stay, again he said yes. An hour later, he said come back tomorrow. This is not the 1st time this scenario has played out. When I got upset, we walked out. As I was getting ready to leave, he said I was crazy for getting mad about it! Do I just need to walk away? One minute, he's warm, the next cold and distant. Bad moods, yes, depressed yes. The next minute, tells me he loves me.

To give you a different perspective, as a person with bipolar disorder I can only tell it's incredibly frustrating on our side as well. Personally I've given up on the idea of a romantic relationship in my life. Meds, no meds, it doesn't seem to make much difference. The mood changes made relationships extremely difficult to maintain. After 5+ girlfriends since my marriage ended the patterns and eventual results are so predictable trying again simply seems foolish. I don't see that as being particularly negative, just realistic.

My last ex is my best friend, but I can tell you no matter how much she likes me and cares for me I know she'd never risk another romantic relationship with me, and I totally get that.