a Challenge

Umm...This has nothing to do with abortion!!!

*star* merely fails to percieve the corrolation

I'm allowing this to remain because I can see what Gu£st is driving at and I would like to allow people to respond

I think suggesting this to one's partner, particulalry after already having previously engaged in sexual relations sends the wrong message, and the other person will resent and/or misconstrue your intentions. "Does he/she no longer love me? Is he/she doing things with someone else? Why wouldn't heshe want me anymore" etc. It would be different, I think if you had never had sex with that person. But to suddenly cut someone off is cruel. Personally, I like sex and would not want to abstain for any length of time unless for medical reasons. I don't think there is anything wrong with enjoying sex. I believe premarital sex is actually good for people. I believe it can help you learn whether or not you and your partner are sexually compatible. I think this is important for a healthy long-term relationship.

me and my boyfriend were together for almost 2 years before we ever had sex, so no thanks my relationship is fine.

I stopped having sex somewhere in my 8th month of pregnancy. After giving birth, my sex drive didn't return for months. It's still not completely back.

6 months? Sure, no problem. We did that. My husband still loves me. We've been together long enough that sex is not what drives our relationship. But it is a vital part of a relationship. It really bothered me that I wasn't able to show my husband physically how I felt for him emotionally. I would question any relationship where sex meant nothing to one or both.

We also waited a full year before first having sex, and he had no problem with that either. He absolutely respected my wishes. Did we wait for marriage? No. We waited for the right time for us. And it worked perfectly. We're now married with a baby girl, and very happy. Premarital sex didn't kill our relationship, nor did using reliable birth control methods.

my dh and I had sex very early in our relationship. We lived together (in sin, no less) and finally married. We used contraception until we chose to bring a child into our lives. Afterward, we used contraceptioin until we chose to have a second child. We then decided we did not want more children, so I had a tubal ligation. We have been married now for 13 years (in september!) and have been together since the day before I turned 17. We are still madly in love, have a very exciting sex life, based on trust and love. My husband has never treated me like a sexual object or toy. He treats me like a goddess, and I treat him respectfully right back. It is about open and honest communication, not abstinence. If you cannot communicate effectively with your partner, no amount of abstinence will make the relationship more "pure" or whatever you are getting at. I also had two periods of abstinence in our relationship, leading up to and following childbirth, as well as a period of time when my birth control caused me to be very irregular and have long periods of time when I was unable to satisfy my needs as well as my husband's. These periods of time were frustrating for both of us, and required us to communicate well with each other. The periods of abstinence had nothing to do with relationship building. they were, in fact difficult times to deal with. Sex is a natural human need. "Anyone who tells you differently is selling something."

At least I will be in good company!

Sex before marriage is not an absolute percurser to a doomed marriage but statistically the percentage is a lot higher

"I think suggesting this to one's partner, particulalry after already having previously engaged in sexual relations sends the wrong message, and the other person will resent and/or misconstrue your intentions. "Does he/she no longer love me? Is he/she doing things with someone else? Why wouldn't heshe want me anymore" etc. It would be different, I think if you had never had sex with that person. But to suddenly cut someone off is cruel. Personally, I like sex and would not want to abstain for any length of time unless for medical reasons. I don't think there is anything wrong with enjoying sex. I believe premarital sex is actually good for people. I believe it can help you learn whether or not you and your partner are sexually compatible. I think this is important for a healthy long-term relationship."


Of course you can simply say you hope abstance makes the heart grow fonder. Reassure your "partner" that you feel you are ready to commit to the relationship but would like to see the relationship from another angle before commiting to marriage.

Sex shouldnt make any difference to a healthy loving commited relationship. If one of the two parties were suddenly to lose the ability to have intercourse a healthly loving and commited relationship would not suffer and should actually grow stronger.

I know a couple who married the man was from the age of seven a parapligic and could not engage in the sexual act, the marrige was based on love and commitment, it was healthy and the sex was unimportant to them.


"me and my boyfriend were together for almost 2 years before we ever had sex, so no thanks my relationship is fine."

Much respect regarding the abstanance for two years. However you have failed to take the extra step in terms of commitment of taking a vow to your boyfriend, this suggest either their is something wrong within the relationship...with.either you, your boyfriend or both of you.

You have a very, well, for lack of a better word, interesting view on people.


An altogether intersting view of the world, the universe and God might I add.




"I do not bargain with my body, nor with my partner's needs. It seems like you would wish me to. "

It is certainly not a bargin its a purification process aimed at clarification of where you stand in regards to yourself and your "partner" within the relationship, Sex clouds the reality that a relationship is often in. often a Child results from such sexual relationships, faced with the harsh light of day at worst often such relationships end in abortion, sometimes not quite as bad but still devestating the relationship breaks down often leaving the woman as a single parent and the child without a male role model. It often leads to depression and sometimes even suicide for the mother. it also leads to a feeling of anger in the child and quite often leads to violent crime by the youngster....why? Simply because a man and a woman believed they were in a health loving commited relationship because the relationship was based on intercourse instead of love.

"My boyfriend and I had sex on our first date four and a half years ago!"

and he respects you...... really????????do you think so...try the challenge
you may be suprised

"And it's smooth sailing."

until you get pregnant, have money woes, he falls for another woman, the sex looses its appeal and you fall for another man... 4.5 years ago is nothing see what its like in 15 - 20 years..

I wasnt expecting a positive response to this challenge because I dont think any of you (apart from HcoBrunette06 perhaps) have the ability the self disciple will power to abstain from sex. I Believe your all too weak. I believe you are quite enslaved by it and perhaps through your enslavement to it you are blinded to the fact your also maybe enslaved by a unloving relationship

Did you read my post at all, guest?