I am new to the board. I have no where to turn. I feel like I am in a tunnel that never ends. I have been diagnosed with BP for several years now. I feel like I am the only one that has these issues, that have isolated me for so long. Here goes at times I do feel twisted
Sounds annoy me, to the point of altercations
I can not go to the movies ( I hear the crunching of popcorn)
I can not go to a mexican reasurant ( crunching of chips)
I can not, even for one minute, deal with:
crunching of any kind
tapping of fingernails on anything
snapping or popping of gum
loud booming music
the S sounds on the tv or radio
a loud tv
ect. I am sure you get the point
I do not like when someone is to close to me or breaths on me
I do not like to be touched by stangers
It seems like everytime I get out in public someone is doing these things.
I can not escape. I get so angry at these things that I make a complete fool of myself. I know that people think I am crazy for making a big deal out of things that seem normal to them. I make up things in my head that will never happen, but its still makes me angry. I am a very good giving person, with a lot of love to give, but when I get around these noises I feel like a jekle and hyde. It's like I am possesed. My mood changes in a spilt second. Am I the only one out there?
I do understand how you feel. I can't say that crunching is my thing, but I have my own little things. For instance, there are times when people in general annoy me to the point where I tell them that if I could grow my finger nails out to be daggers I would stab them with them. I am pretty sure the guy that I was out to dinner with that night realized the date wasnt going well. Another one I use is I tell people I want my eyes to have the zapping power of the alien ships from war of the worlds that way I could just turn to ash anyone who set me off. Of course I will never have these powers, but when I say things like this it freaks most people out.
I guess I minimize the unusualness by keeping a tight core network of friends who know when I am "off" I have informed them about my rapid cycling and the mixed states. They are educated and understanding, and they helpful.
Yes, your situation is different, but I do hope you find a place where you feel understood. If I can assist you in any way please let me know.
I know exaclty how you feel... I get ticked off when i hear chewing noises... they frustrat the hell out of me... Even if i hear myself chewing i cant stand it... i just stop eating... My partner is always bemused when i just jump up and leave the room or make frustrated sounds cause of his chewing...
The way i try to deal with it is to turn on some music while i eat... or be around other noises that cover the chewing...
I know what you mean. The only way I can describe what I feel is I am a rabbid animal. When I first started feeling that way I just thought I was a jerk.lol I know now that it is just part of my disorder. I cant stand any mouth sounds at all. I have dogs and I love them very much but when I hear them eat, drink or lick.... or that other thing they do with their mouth... sticking the tongue out and adjusting the mouth.. hell, i dont know what they are doing but it makes me want to strangle them. I know it's not their fault but its the way I feel. I dont go out of my house often because I dont like to be around people. I feel sick if someone touches me or breathes on me. I have gotten in so much trouble going out of the house that it just makes sense to stay home. besides, I get such anx going out that I have to have a safe person with me when I do have to go out.
So yes Roses I know how you feel...
I am in my own personal prison.
omg u guys posted this stuff 8 yrs ago I don't even know if ull get this now but I'm so glad it was here for me when I needed it someone was looken down thank goodness its been really really rough for a long time I'm glad I'm not alone cause it sure feels that way nobody understands I hope u guys see thanks again <3
I feel like I am the only one as well with these feelings. I also get angry thinking about things that probably wont happen. I lose a lot of sleep at night doing that, my mind doesn't stop. My rage along with anxiety and depression has taken over my life. Everything angers me so to prevent getting arrested I don't leave my house. It absolutely sucks because I'm a mother and this has been going on for almost 20 years and nothing has worked.