I am new to the board. I have no where to turn. I feel like I am in a tunnel that never ends. I have been diagnosed with BP for several years now. I feel like I am the only one that has these issues, that have isolated me for so long. Here goes at times I do feel twisted
Sounds annoy me, to the point of altercations
I can not go to the movies ( I hear the crunching of popcorn)
I can not go to a mexican reasurant ( crunching of chips)
I can not, even for one minute, deal with:
crunching of any kind
tapping of fingernails on anything
snapping or popping of gum
loud booming music
the S sounds on the tv or radio
a loud tv
ect. I am sure you get the point
I do not like when someone is to close to me or breaths on me
I do not like to be touched by stangers
It seems like everytime I get out in public someone is doing these things.
I can not escape. I get so angry at these things that I make a complete fool of myself. I know that people think I am crazy for making a big deal out of things that seem normal to them. I make up things in my head that will never happen, but its still makes me angry. I am a very good giving person, with a lot of love to give, but when I get around these noises I feel like a jekle and hyde. It's like I am possesed. My mood changes in a spilt second. Am I the only one out there?
I do understand how you feel. I can't say that crunching is my thing, but I have my own little things. For instance, there are times when people in general annoy me to the point where I tell them that if I could grow my finger nails out to be daggers I would stab them with them. I am pretty sure the guy that I was out to dinner with that night realized the date wasnt going well. Another one I use is I tell people I want my eyes to have the zapping power of the alien ships from war of the worlds that way I could just turn to ash anyone who set me off. Of course I will never have these powers, but when I say things like this it freaks most people out.
I guess I minimize the unusualness by keeping a tight core network of friends who know when I am "off" I have informed them about my rapid cycling and the mixed states. They are educated and understanding, and they helpful.
Yes, your situation is different, but I do hope you find a place where you feel understood. If I can assist you in any way please let me know.
I know exaclty how you feel... I get ticked off when i hear chewing noises... they frustrat the hell out of me... Even if i hear myself chewing i cant stand it... i just stop eating... My partner is always bemused when i just jump up and leave the room or make frustrated sounds cause of his chewing...
The way i try to deal with it is to turn on some music while i eat... or be around other noises that cover the chewing...
I know what you mean. The only way I can describe what I feel is I am a rabbid animal. When I first started feeling that way I just thought I was a jerk.lol I know now that it is just part of my disorder. I cant stand any mouth sounds at all. I have dogs and I love them very much but when I hear them eat, drink or lick.... or that other thing they do with their mouth... sticking the tongue out and adjusting the mouth.. hell, i dont know what they are doing but it makes me want to strangle them. I know it's not their fault but its the way I feel. I dont go out of my house often because I dont like to be around people. I feel sick if someone touches me or breathes on me. I have gotten in so much trouble going out of the house that it just makes sense to stay home. besides, I get such anx going out that I have to have a safe person with me when I do have to go out.
So yes Roses I know how you feel...
I am in my own personal prison.