You know,...I can appreciate where you are coming from, my hubby is just like you. For me it has nothing to do with self esteem, it has everything to do with feeling his sexdrive is just another chore that needs doing. I feel like I am never allowed for ME to want him,...I don't get the chance cause he wants sex all the time. If he backed off and let me come to him, that would be nice.
I also miss just being cuddly and caressing w/o sex,...I've stopped that bc he saw that as an invitation.
Listen, I am totally fine with him wanking, but I can't stand the pressure in the bedroom. It's annoying. Yes, I am starting to feel frustrated about it. Been married for 13 years and we have a great life together. We both feel that way...But let us come to you guys!
Remember - Women need love to wanna have sex and men need sex in order to feel love. It is a evil cycle!!