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Terrified , Depressed And Feeling Alone (Page 3)

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December 20th, 2010
depression in pregnancy
Is anybody still posting? i am 13 weeks and feel detached,depressed and completely alone,even though im not! I thought i would feel differently after my scan but it just made me panic even more,im so worried because I know people have noticed a change in me but I dont want everybody to know how I feel because that then makes me feel guilty. I avoid phone calls from friends and family because I know all they will want to talk about is the baby and Im absolutely dreading christmas. I felt so happy when I found out but the last few weeks have left me being unable to sleep,eat or take any pleasure in anything.
I also have a very interfering mother in law which makes me feel ten times worse.
I am seriously considering trying some meds to help with this depression
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replied May 23rd, 2011
Hi ladies, I too am feeling so low and not knowing how to cope with it is making it worse, I am 7 weeks pregnant with my 3rd it was planed (18 months of trying) I was taken into hospital just over two weeks ago with a suspected eptopic!!! I was taken for surgery and it turned out it was a burst cyst, I was over hours to hear I was still pregnant as I had, had a miscarriage the month before. I was told by the doctor to be on complete bed rest for the week and go back for a scan, the scan showed the sack and what the baby feeds off but no baby or heart beat as yet, but was told that was normal for how early I was, I am back on Friday to make sure everything is going ok!!! Maybe not really knowing what is happening is adding to me feeling so low I don't remember feeling like this with my first two! I am tired all the time and energy levels are at a all time low too. My partner is not really helping by having ago saying I don't do anything and I am lazy I was trying to do what I could, but now have taken a " I am on strike" attitude as if I am being accused of it I might as well do it! Sorry to be going on and sound like I am feeling sorry for myself (I am though really) but I just thought it might help to type it out and get out of my system!!!!
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replied May 24th, 2011
Wow....I am glad to have found this site. At least I am not alone. I am 18 weeks and cry constantly and on weekends I have a hard time getting out of bed. It is a terrible feeling because you feel as though you should be this glowing radiant pregnant being. I am absolutely miserable. At 31 and no history of depression....I can't even put into words how horrible this is. Meditation is the only peace I get these days!
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Users who thank islandoneluv for this post: Tenet959 

replied July 25th, 2011
14 weeks preggo and becoming depressed
Hi everyone. When I found out I was pregnant, I was so excited! I had PCOS and was taking medication when my husband and I started trying. We conceived about 8 months into our marriage. But now, he has jumped ship. It seems like as soon as I found out I was pregnant, he changed even though he told me to get on medicine to have a baby. He is making really stupid choices, talking to all sorts of other girls,though he promises he hasn't cheated, and I just can't take it. I suggested marriage counselling and making a joint fb account, as opposed to us having seperate ones, but he won't do it. He said it was better to just separate. I live 3 hours away from any family and am feeling utterly alone and scared. I hate to say this, but I keep thinking had I not become pregnant, I would still be with my husband. I feel like I am slipping into a dark and sad place. Any advice or help?
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replied August 15th, 2011
In need of a friend
I am 7 weeks pregnant and my anxiety and depression have me nervous at the stomach and also I lose sleep at night but I am scared of what might happen.. I am married, good job, loving family, so why am I so depressed please help...
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replied August 25th, 2011
I too feel the same, I kept coming across forums where ladies are so happy they are pregnant. This all seemed like a good idea about 4 months ago - I felt so broody as all around me were pregnant ladies and babies being born, I already have a 10 yr old child and she kept asking for yrs when am I going to have a brother or sister? so that made me feel guilty she was all alone so as I was feeling broody thought I would bring the subject up with my partner who has never mentioned having a child in the 6 yrs I have known him, so he finally came around to the idea we tried for 3 months, and then I became pregnant sooner than I expected and ever since finding out, I have that split second in the morning where I feel like everything is ok then I remember I am pregnant and feel like I am trapped, with my partner (who is lovely really) whom I am not sure about, and the thought of growing fatter for the next nine months and people keeping telling me - congratulations - when that is the last thing I want to hear..I feel like I have made a huge mistake, I keep getting told its my hormones, but is it?
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replied September 9th, 2011
I see these posts are some what old, But i cant tell you wat a relief it is to read these, I am 9 weeks pregnant and dreading every moment of it, Im having extreme sickness and so cant even go out for a meal with my partner, Im so jealous when he goes out and rolls it when he feels like it, I cant get mad at him because are home life is non exstitant at the moment, Every one else is so excited includng my husband but I hate it whenever its brought up, This was a totally planned pregnancy and cant really understand my feelings towards it all, I know people say hormones but GEEZ! Should Ibe thinking i dont want this baby all, Is this normal, Feeling alone, down, Ugly, Fat, And seriously spotty!!! I hope this gets better becasue i couldnt bare this feeling once the baby is born, If any one has any advice on how they over came this, It would be great to hear from you.
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replied November 23rd, 2011
Down and depressed
I am so glad I am not the only person who feels like this!! I was made redundant in May this year from a job I put my heart and soul into for the last eight years. I had been trying, unsuccessfully to get another job from the minute I was made redundant but can't even get an interview or am told I am over qualified. To add to the mix of feeling severley useless I find out at the age of 40 I am pregnant with my 2nd child. Husband not overly thrilled and in denial. I live 12 hours away from my family and feel I can't even talk to them about how I feel as they are so happy for me. I am disgusted with myself for feeling absolutely nothing for this baby as the guilt is killing me. I was told I couldn't have children in 2002 as I suffer from endometriosis. My daughter is 2 1/2 and I an even get off the chair or get dressed because of how useless I feel. I love her to bits but feel I am not giving her the best, she was in creche and loved it and now I can't afford to pay my mortgage never mind creche fees. I cannot sleep or get excited and I feel sick all day everyday. I don't know who I am anymore!!! I told my doctor how I was feeling and he said he couldn't give me anything and thatbthese feelings will pass. I am 16 weeks gone and it took a lot of guts to open up to my doctor about how I was feeling. If anything I now feel worse as I just made a fool of myself and the doctor doesn't care one bit. Am sitting here in pyjamas at 2pm in the day and don't have an ounce of energy in me. Will this ever get better, I can't handle this at all!!!!! My head is bursting with it all!!!!
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replied November 23rd, 2011
To Alba
Hi Smile

Your certainly not the only person to feel like this as horrible as it is, It sounds to me ( im no doctor) that you have depression steming from you redundancy and now coupled with the baby things are taking its toll on you, I was on Anti Depr before being pregnant and was told straight away to come off them, Its been a struggle but things are getting there although i have tried countless times to say to my doctor, One doctor even said yes to going back on the tablets they checked with a hospital and it was deemed safe to go on the tablets i was on! DO NOT LET your doctor brush you off . My advice would be to speak to your doctor Again and again until they take notice, Also tell your Midwife they HAVE to refer you to the mental health team you can then go and speak with someone, Its something my midwife did ( they take there sweet time about it) but i said i was scared about how i might feel after the baby is born., It can and does feel like no one gives a crap about how you feel and no one wants to listen and part of me thinks the system does let people down, But when you have your consultant appointment, Tell them as well....Tell anyone you can about how you feel someone will help you and of course im sure any one on here including me will be happy to listen to you, sometimes a strangers ear is better than nothing at all. if you would like to email me privatley please let me know and I wil be happy to give you my address Smile
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replied December 2nd, 2011
i am so glad i have found this! i am 19 and have been with my partner for 3 months. i was completely in love with him and it finally clicked into place what my mum meant when she said 'when you find the one your know'. i am 8 weeks pregnant and since finding out i have been a mess. i constantly cry, i hate being near my partner and i literllay feel sick to the stomach being near him but i do have days where i just want to cuddle him and not let go. i feel sick 24/7 and generally just feel extremely low. my partner is really excited and wants the baby, but i dont know what i want. some days im fine, other days i just wish i would lose the baby and everything will be normal again. ive always been older than my age but now i feel like i just want to be a child again. i cant drink because i suffer from irritable bowel syndrome and it makes me ill but i just want to go out and get absolutely wasted even though i never did this anyway. i keep thinking about money situaions and how i dont want to be stuck in my job. and most of all i feel trapped in a relationship i was soooo happy with and i dont know if its hormones or just a big kick in the teeth and all of it is a big mistake. my family are extremely supporting but i feel so alone and dont know what to do. some one please help me! xx
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replied December 8th, 2011
Hey xxscablet1xx I am going through a similar situation right now. I am eight weeks too probably nine by now and I feel very alone. Me and my boyfriend were great before and now things have truly gone to crap. I have a lot of reasons to be angry with him, he doesnt have a job and he doesnt live near me and has no idea what I am going through. He also purposely ignores me... although he was the one who wanted the baby, where as I didnt want to. My family is also supportive but I feel like they dont understand where I am coming from.
I just turned 22 and I have always been more mature then I should be, I feel alone though like I have no one to talk to, which is probably why were all on the internet talking to other people. Since were both going through this if you need anyone to talk to I know how you feel. The morning sickness sucks horribly I have never felt more sick in my life, and moody my god.
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replied March 11th, 2012
I just wanted to say thank you to all you women for being strong, and posting how you feel. I joined late into active military, fell in love with my long distant boyfriend and was planning a future of an upcoming wedding...my last visit I brought back with me a very unexpected souviner...i found out I was pregnant after 2 weeks of being home. I'm 29, love my boyfriend, and have already been talking marriage...I should be happy right? But I'm not, and I feel selfish for saying so. I actually contemplated abortion, until I went to the doctors and he "officially" told me I was 4weeks, and that the baby's brain and spinal cord form in the first 4-6weeks. As of late I've had a melt down almost every day, bawling my eyes out, I've struggled with depression in the past, and that's exactly how I feel. I've been so angry inside and even argumenative with my boyfriend (who is very very supportive and sweet). I just feel mad at the world, and I can't smoke or drink to get rid of it. Sad Plus now I'm trying to plan this wedding, and he doesn't want me to tell anyone I'm pregnant because he doesn't want them to think it's a shotgun wedding...and I just want to be open and celebrate about it, instead of feeling like I'm ducking my head in shame. We both know what we have, I could care less what other people think, bc they're going to think it regardless. I just need support and happiness. And all I feel is agony and anger Sad I just wasn't ready for motherhood, at all. I'm scared shitless about it, and was looking forward to having some time colocating with my future husband...without all this extra responsibility. Plus I'm across the states from my family with no support system. It's hard enough being isolated where I live. I'm so depressed Sad I can't stop crying, I feel like I just don't know what's wrong with me, and no one can help me. Sad
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replied March 13th, 2012
Hi there, I was happy to see that someone had posted on here recently. I read all the women who had posted in the last 5 years and seem to feel the same pain, and although it sounds harsh, I am glad. I'm glad that I'm not the only one and you should feel comfort in that too.

I think we sound similar NewNews in that although there is alot of love around, we still feel these feelings of selfishness... I'm 31 and 5 weeks and still cannot get over it. I want to cry and always just have the feeling of emotional numbness. I have suffered depression in the past too and know the feeling all too well.

I guess I am just trying to stay positive in learning from these women, that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

Have you spoken to your boyfriend / family / therapist about your feelings? I know you say they're far away but even a phonecall or email will help.

I'm trying to chat with women who've gone through it as well, as I feel just talking about it helps. Also I'm trying yoga and meditation, as its when my mind roams that I feel the worst.

I'm not sure if I've actually helped you but just remember, you're never alone. x
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replied March 13th, 2012
Hi Allthenamesare taken, I'm going through this right now with you. 6 weeks pregnant, have my first dr app tomorrow. So terrified because it is going to make it even more real. I've been crying for 3 days straight, its all I can do to get out of bed. I suffered from depression in the past also and can't help but feel like I won't come out of this. This is so scary. I should be happy but all I feel is terrible devastation. Hoping my doctor can help me tomorrow. How are you managing?
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Thanks for your patience!

replied March 13th, 2012
Hi BlueLilly, Sounds like we're on the same page. I have to say, the minute I think I'm managing, I'm not. Once I get up I just feel an immediate wave of anxiety, my mind wanders from 'will I cope' to 'how will I feel when the baby is born'. Then I really have to drag myself into work. Although I feel anxiety all through the day, I feel its better in the afternoon/night. I have been talking to hubby about it, who is soo supportive and am off to my therapist tomorrow, also trying to stretch and meditate when I can. I just can't understand why I feel so sad and anxious when this was all planned and I have a great family and support system but right now, I also feel like I won't come out of this. Was your pregnancy planned? Let me know how you go at your doctor and if its helped elevate any of your pain. Be sure to be honest with them.
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replied March 30th, 2012
thank god i seen this web site...it's a load off my chest i have one child 3 years old and one on the way...and this is hard my husband and i split with our first child when i became five months. now with this baby all he do is go out with friends he leave the house about 8pm and come in at 6am at times.he not working we live with my parents.and on welfare and un-employment well today I spoke to him and let him know how i feel and the things that going on in my mind. he said nothing and got up and left to hang out again so i called him and informed him am not happy with the person he has become and i think it's best for him to leave.I think he seeing other woman i cried to him letting him know i couldn't do this alone anymore.I do love him and yes have big trust issues with him because of our past issues. i told him I've never gotten over the cheating or him leaving my son and i in another state.I can't believe am having another child from this man i dont feel love. I think so negative am think am forcing myself to love the baby inside me.i dont want to get out of bed i told him i wanted to get rid of the baby.i told him i was scared he doesn't want to wear his wedding ring.at times i call and he doesn't answer.i think for now he should leave in order for me to get the help I need.
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replied April 1st, 2012
I feel the same way my bf is always out promoting parties and all of this non important stuff I feel like I have no support system. I honestly do think its best we take a break from each other. And I think u should take a break from your husband if he's showing u he doesn't care but remember pregnancy is a gift from God some women try for years and never get pregnant. So keep smiling for u and ur babies. If he wants to be a jerk let him do it on his own. Show him ur better off without him!
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replied April 3rd, 2012
Feel very scared
Hello I am 33yrs old and devastated out of my wits. I wanted to become a mother soon but my partner is too complicated and on top of this my symptoms are all over the place . My partner is very insensitive he thinks I exaggerate he has 0 patience . I don't want this life and now there's a bond between us forever and it's scary . I am sick every day, my prior gastritis has worsen due to the baby. I am nausaus , and stomach burn and pain every day. I hardly eat . I have so many mixed feeling of not keeping this baby and running away. My family lives far from me now it's not like I can take my stuff and walk there. I 've been so sick don't have the Energy to do anything. My GI doc said that i might be struggling all through my pregnancy due to the baby growing and pushing on my stomach lining . I am so scared and I feel so lonely . Help!
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replied April 5th, 2012
depressed
I just found out iam pregnant and it was plan have tried for so long iam about 3 weeks and I feel so depressed like I dont want this anymore I dont have anyone to turn to my husband does not understand I just feel like such a bad person
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replied April 5th, 2012
I just found out iam pregnant and it was plan have tried for so long iam about 3 weeks and I feel so depressed like I dont want this anymore I dont have anyone to turn to my husband does not understand I just feel like such a bad person
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replied April 7th, 2012
I have everything. Two awesome kids and a husband who loves me
I'd begged and begged for another baby. The second I knew I was
Pregnant I panicked. I don't want this anymore but am stuck.
I want to sleep so I can wake up from this awfulness. husband is
Mad. He would never leave me but we are changed forever. He won't
Acknowledge the awful morning sickness which makes it worse
He is rightly mad but he thinks the nausea is from panic and gives me
No support there. It can't be normal if he can't acknowledge me.
What is wrong with me. I am sick and cry all the time. I am seeing
A counselor and physiatrist this week. But I still can not understand
Theses feelings. I had a really good life and I ruined it.
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replied April 12th, 2012
Depressed and in dispair!
I am 33 weeks pregnant and feeling so desperate to talk to other ladies feeling like I do. I am so depressed and flat, I can't seem to get excited about anything! My baby shower is on Saturday and my friend has been going nuts all month getting ready for it. I feel so guilty because I have absolutely no desire to even go! I look at my life and feel like there is so much to be grateful for and things aren't that bad but I can't get past this dark cloud that just hovers over me constantly. I get so nervous that when the baby comes I will feel no joy and fall even deeper into depression with post partum. I wake up in the morning with the nagging fear that this is it for me and I will never feel like myself again. All the ways I would normally cope (busying myself with work, exercise, etc.) are not an option because I am on bed rest. To top it off, having to stop work early has really taxed our finances and we can barely pay our bills. I cant afford to go see a therapist and I am stressed about how we will be able to get by. My husband is looking for a second job but part of me is so scared of that happening because then he will be away from the home even more, most likely nights, which have been my only solace, feeling somehow safer just to know that he is there. My husband tries to be supportive but I know he is exhausted and weary and feel so bad for being such a downer on my family. After all, this is hardly the first time they have ever had to go through this sort of thing with me. I have suffered from depression and anxiety throughout my life, but had been pretty stable for quite some time when I got pregnant. The pregnancy was unplanned and came as a bit of a shocker as my 2nd pregnancy after 10 years.
I was on adivan and wellbutrin when I found out, I went cold turkey off of the adivan after the bad advise of a hospital psychiatrist. My body went into complete shock and I literally almost died. After some serious anxiety, depression and turmoil, I would also secretly wish I would miscarry. I did get on a better tapering plan and with a lot of help from my husband and friends, I was able to regain composure over my life. My OB was fine with keeping me on the wellbutrin and the second trimester went relatively smooth. Toward the end of the second trimester I was completely off of the adivan and for the first time in years sleeping through the night med free...it was so liberating!
About six weeks ago the pregnancy took another turn and I was diagnosed with IUGR (inter-uterine growth restriction) likely due to placental insufficiency. I was put on bed rest and started being heavily monitored with antipartum testing, almost daily ultrasounds etc. First they were trying to rule out any major chromosomal abnormalities and I was so scared that there was something seriously worng...then I worried that he would have to come out incredibly premature, since we first discovered this at 27 weeks and had to take the pregnancy week by week to even know if it was still safe for him to stay in. I felt so incredibly guilty for not even wanting him in the beginning, like I was going to be punished now at the end. Whenever too much time went by that he didn't move I would think that the oxygen supply from my placenta had finally given out and he had died right there inside me. I went through the initial shock of it all but then felt like I had been able to get back to a pretty positive place with prayer, faith and all the stable doc reports that kept coming back for his heart and the placental blood flow reassuring me. I officially stopped working a few weeks ago and have been spending more time by myself, laying around, but still was filling my weeks with visitors and feeling pretty good. All of a sudden I started getting extreme stomach pain everytime I ate and was vomiting a lot. Somehow this event set off a new wave of anxiety and depression in me in the week to follow that I was paralyzed in fear and sorrow....I spent the week unable to keep anything down because of the nerves and falling deeper into depression. The anxiety has subsided but I am just feeling so very down, I don't know how to make it even another day feeling this way. I get so anxious as soon as my husband leaves for work because the idea of being alone is unbearable. I know it is too much to put just on him and I feel like I have become such a burden on my friends and family. I think most are trying to be supportive but many don't understand how excruciating depression can be. I hate being such a vegetable in front of my son and think about how I must be just ruining his childhood by making him have to worry about me. I am supposed to meet with a psychiatrist on Monday to discuss possibly switching my meds but I feel worried about throwing anything else into the pot with so many issues already. But I am also scarred of the alternatives from being so depressed and that effect on the baby. I lost 4 lbs. last week with my inability to eatthis week I have been able to hold my weight but I havent gained anything. My fundal measurement also went down slightly. I have my 3 week growth check for the baby today and am incredibly worried to find out that he hasnt grown. He is already small, the last thing he needs is me having eating issues! I feel so guilty and like such a failure. I keep trying to understand how it came to this, trying to quantify my feelings, somehow come up with a mathematical equation for the sudden change in my brain chemistry to understand how and when I will regain control, I know the seratonin levels are at there lowest at this time in the pregnancy but it isnt reassuring to think that soon it will all be over because I know how much the statistics are against me when it comes to postpartum. I dont want to miss out on the joy of a new baby!
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replied May 2nd, 2012
Hi ladies, I am glad to have found this forum. I feel so much less alone knowing that there are others out there who share my feelings. I am in my 40s so you would think I would be thrilled to be pregnant with this wanted baby, but I am frightened and have been in and out of depression for the last few months (and before that too). I feel desperately lonely, isolated and down despite my very loving partner. This is our first baby and I am 22 weeks. I miss my life, I am frightened about what this will do to my career, I feel that I have made a bad decision and can't stop punishing myself for it. The only thing I would add is that when he cloud lifts (which it does from time to time) I am able to feel happiness and excitement. So I tell myself it is not me feeling this way, it's the depression. That said this is a huge life change and it is understandable surely that we feel like this. If anyone wants to email me I would be so pleased to hear from you and talk further.
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replied June 3rd, 2012
HI how are you? I guess most of us feel alone and some are very happy. I wish I can say I am excited sometimes i might get happy for one day and then it goes away. My partner doesnt help either he looks like he doesnt care half of the time or touch my belly.I am going on my 20weeks and 33 yrs old. My stomach is growing, but very slowly. I dont know if he"ll change after the stomach pops out. I am not ready and overwhelm. I think maybe if my partner was supportive i would feel more content and sure or everything.Also his moods are all over the place and it makes it difficult for us to stay focus on us.
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replied June 14th, 2012
I feel my mate isn't as supportive as he should be as well. I feel like I'm the only person left in this world just me the baby inside me and my cell phone that I'm using. I lash out a lot and cry to much
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replied July 6th, 2012
I feel alot less alone after reading every single one of these posts. After reading these is the one and only time i feel a tiny sense of calm. Other than that, the anxiety feels crushing. I have suffered from anxiety/depression in the past but i am really feeling like i cant get out of this one. I thought i would be so excited that i was pregnant as i have always wanted kids but the worry/depression/guilt feels like too much. I read someone said that the excitment was "starting to creep in" i really hope i feel that soon. I couldnt possibly imagine feeling like this the entire time. Not to mention the fears of after the baby arrives
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replied April 13th, 2013
i thought i was the only one that felt this way !
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