Depression During Pregnancy Forum - Terrified , Depressed And Feeling Alone

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Q: Terrified , Depressed And Feeling Alone

asked by: Jennifer-grace on July 17th, 2007

New User

i am about 8 weeks pregnant, i was so happy when i found out. now its becoming real, im sick all the time, i dont want sex, my boobs hurt, im tired and very grumpy and already look 4 months gone. i have suffered with depression for over a year, been trying different pills but they all hav side affects which dont agree with me. im getting so low im beginning to wish i wasnt pregnant. i feel awful for even writing it. i have had problems with PID in the past and i was on the pill so this baby is a miracle! now PID has come back im having severe pain in my womb and sometimes i just want my baby to fall out and have all the pain go away. i cant talk to my boyfriend about this because he doesnt understand and he wants this baby. we have told everyone and i will feel ashamed if i had a abortion. im so low that i dont even want to be with my boyfriend. we live together and we love eachother but this baby i can only see it will ruin my life. dads can always just walk away. i know a baby is amazing and i will love it as soon as i will see it but i have to admit im selfish. i miss drinking already, (i would never drink while pregnant, i watched a programme about FAS and its awful)i miss going out with my friends. i buy clothes any time i want. get up when i want. i dont think twice about buying a pair of jeans for £130 or a top at £50. i dont want to spend my money on a baby, im only young and buying myself stuff is my way of coping with shutting the world away, if i feel low i buy a top or some shoes. on the other hand its here and i should take responsibility. i dont feel attached to it at the moment. my boyfriend hugs me and kisses my tummy and just looks at it. im scared of getting fat. im terrified of it. i dont want post natal depression and im scared i will. im scared of it all and no one seems to understand my state of mind before this happened, no one has a chance now. i dont know what to do. i do believe childrens personalitys form in the womb and they feel everything. i dont want a child who gets depressed like me, i have probaly ruined it already. it knows i dont want it but i dont want to give it up. i just dont know what to do.

Replies(11)

sillyakchick

replied on July 18th, 2007

Extremely eHealthy

I know how you feel. I was depressed most of my pregnancy. I didn't tell anyone until afterward and my problems got a lot worse. I felt guilty for feeling that way. I was "supposed" to be a happy glowing pregnant woman full of love and life and blah blah blah. But I wasn't I just felt terrible and sad and alone. On my birthday I refused to leave my house and I wouldn't talk on the phone. I urge you to speak with your care provider about this. I think it might help you to seek the advice of a counselor. But don't berate yourself. Not all pregnant women look like they do on TV and in the movies. Some of us are grumpy teraful emotional messes, but it will pass with the right care and treatment. My heart goes out to you, I do know how you feel. Please continue to post here for support. I assure you, you are not alone!

young Girl

replied on July 18th, 2007

Especially eHealthy

i get depressed sometimes but im not constantly sad Sad

i hope you feel better though

if you ever need to just talk or anything just let me know ok?

Chillout2

replied on July 18th, 2007

Experienced User

It is very understandable to feel this way. Having a baby is life changing.
I think you need to talk to someone like maybe a therapist maybe even your doctor can find a deppreession med. with low side affects for you and baby. Take a breather. Were all here if you need to talk. <3 Wish you the best of luck.

Jennifer-grace

replied on July 27th, 2007

New User

thank u all for your replies. have had a bad week with my boyfriend, we are no longer living together because of my moods and stuff. its becoming difficult to have a rlationship with anyone especially him. but i did go to my doctor and i am seeing a few different people for medication, counselling and stuff, my boyfriend wont come back home until i get help. and as for our baby, i am terrified but im sure when i have my first scan in a couple of weeks i will be fine. i am warming to the idea of becoming a mum and hopefully i will be ok at it. i know i am always going to be depressed, its just finding a way to cope with it. my boyfriend cant wait to be a dad and even if we dont get back together straight away i will always have his support. thank u for all ur replies, they really cheered me up. x

sillyakchick

replied on July 28th, 2007

Extremely eHealthy

It sounds like you have taken positive steps in the right direction. You don't always have to be depressed. I know it feels like it will never ever end, but hold out hope that some day you may not feel like this. Many people recover, and you could too! I am here for you.

How are you feeling with the pregnancy? Smile

mummied

replied on March 5th, 2009

New User

depressed n pregnant

i am 11 weeks pregnant and my depresion is worsening. this was a planned pregnancy, my first, and i could not wait, it only took 2 weeks, and the day i saw the two positive tests, i felt a fear. i didnt want to tell anyone, my bf slipped up and told everyone! i have since gone into an anxiety stricken isolation. my bf and i are not even getting along because he does not understand how to help me with my anxiety. i am deinately not the glowing happy specimen that a prenant woman is described to be. i know things can only get better......

JennyBean

replied on March 16th, 2009

New User

Hi Mummied. I understand exactly how you feel. I feel the same way. I am 14 weeks pregnant, I'm 32, married to a great man, have a great job, supportive family. I have no reason to feel unhappy but I am. "Anxiety stricken isolation" is exactly how I feel. Everyday I wake up, I feel like a noose is tightening around my neck, and it's only a matter of time before I start showing and I have to tell people I'm pregnant. My mother already told most of my family even though I told her not to. I can't talk to any of them about it, because I can't give them the happy, excited enthusiasm they would expect. My husband is trying to be supportive, but it is very hard for him because he has no idea how I feel. I feel completed isolated. No one understands how I feel and I wish I could feel differently.

lalo032

replied on July 28th, 2009

New User

I totally understand. This is my first pregnancy and it was planned but I did not expect to get pregnant in two weeks after seven years of being on the pill. I feel like I am all alone. I am just angry at everyone for no real reason. My husband is trying to be supportive of all of my emotions, but it is probably impossible. All I feel like doing is laying in bed and crying. It is not helping that my birthday is tomorrow (26). That seems to just be making everything seem worse. I am so scared and overwhelmed. I stopped taking my antidepressants as soon as I found out and now I wish I hadnt. I dont want to hurt the baby with them, but I dont know if I can handle this whole pregnancy feeling like this, or getting worse. I just feel lost and alone! Oh, and I hate my job which does not help anything

veryhopeful

replied on August 2nd, 2009

New User

hang in there!

Hang in there folks... apparently this is *very* common.. severe depression is very common during pregnancy. I keep reading as many as 1 in 10 (10%) of us will experience this. some may not label it depression, but if you've experienced it before, it is not hard to distinguish from "hormonal" ups and downs. I was depressed last year and I was able to come through it with the help of medications and a positive work environment. I'm off in the summers (I'm a professor), and I do miserably when my mind is allowed to roam freely, so it is torture to get up every day right now. I'm in pain. Emotional pain, physical pain, unhopeful, feeling worthless and worst of all, simply unable to control any of this. My hubby is VERY supportive, but he's growing weary. I've decided I'll see a counselor. I do not want to go on meds while pregnant. I know some people must and THAT is OKAY. Its better than the alternative. However, I DO have hope that this will go away. I feel all the same ways you mentioned about not being the least bit excited about the pregnancy or the baby, even though I've been ready to start a family for over a year (I'm 30). PLEASE hang in there.. this WILL end. But don't neglect getting help and support! Lots of love in Christ! Thanks for sharing your stories. I feel better knowing I'm not the only one! If it helps, my sister in law told me she contemplated abortion after 4.5 months of morning sickness.. she was miserable and wanted it all to end. Now, she can not imagine her life without him. He's a wonderful child!

struggling03

replied on August 10th, 2009

New User

Reading these posts feels like a life saver. I've been feeling so low since finding out was pregnant (am 7 weeks now)and so alone as feels like such a difficult thing to tell anyone when you're supposed to be happy and joyous! This was a planned pregnancy (at thirty eight) and something that have been wanting for a very long time. Ive spent so long worrying (and boring everyone!) that afraid i wont get pregnant and now i am am horrified and depressed about it. I could feel it coming on shortly after the positve test, like a wave of anxiety and panic, after the morning sickness kicked in and other physical symptoms it's just worse and i feel completely out of control and paralysed. I have suffered with depression over the years and i know the feeling passes eventually but at the moment i feel desperate. Had a massive fight with my partner yesterday who is frustrated and confused with me as cant understand the dramatic change from wanting a baby and being soo excited about being pregnant to someone who cries all the time and doesn't want to get out of bed. This morning i drove to work but was crying again in the car so decided just to allow myself the day off as if i was physically sick even though i feel so guilty. Have an apt with the dr this morning whcih am terrified about (mainly in case they look at me and say 'it will pass'..). I know this isnt how i should be feeling and i feel desperate. Am so greatful for everyones honesty on this site, knowing am not alone literally feels like a life saver so thankyou.

happynot

replied on October 14th, 2009

New User

pregnant and panicing

howre you feeling now? I am 7 weeks pregnant and feeling exactly as you described. Im panicing about being pregnant and wish I wasnt and I also suddenly hate my partner!

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