Depression During Pregnancy Forum - Terrified , Depressed And Feeling Alone
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Terrified , Depressed And Feeling Alone

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Jennifer-grace

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 Jul 2007
Posts: 2
Terrified , Depressed And Feeling Alone
Posted: 07-17-07 17:20pm

i am about 8 weeks pregnant, i was so happy when i found out. now its becoming real, im sick all the time, i dont want sex, my boobs hurt, im tired and very grumpy and already look 4 months gone. i have suffered with depression for over a year, been trying different pills but they all hav side affects which dont agree with me. im getting so low im beginning to wish i wasnt pregnant. i feel awful for even writing it. i have had problems with PID in the past and i was on the pill so this baby is a miracle! now PID has come back im having severe pain in my womb and sometimes i just want my baby to fall out and have all the pain go away. i cant talk to my boyfriend about this because he doesnt understand and he wants this baby. we have told everyone and i will feel ashamed if i had a abortion. im so low that i dont even want to be with my boyfriend. we live together and we love eachother but this baby i can only see it will ruin my life. dads can always just walk away. i know a baby is amazing and i will love it as soon as i will see it but i have to admit im selfish. i miss drinking already, (i would never drink while pregnant, i watched a programme about FAS and its awful)i miss going out with my friends. i buy clothes any time i want. get up when i want. i dont think twice about buying a pair of jeans for £130 or a top at £50. i dont want to spend my money on a baby, im only young and buying myself stuff is my way of coping with shutting the world away, if i feel low i buy a top or some shoes. on the other hand its here and i should take responsibility. i dont feel attached to it at the moment. my boyfriend hugs me and kisses my tummy and just looks at it. im scared of getting fat. im terrified of it. i dont want post natal depression and im scared i will. im scared of it all and no one seems to understand my state of mind before this happened, no one has a chance now. i dont know what to do. i do believe childrens personalitys form in the womb and they feel everything. i dont want a child who gets depressed like me, i have probaly ruined it already. it knows i dont want it but i dont want to give it up. i just dont know what to do.
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sillyakchick

Supporter
Joined: 12 Apr 2007
Posts: 2700
Thanks: 6
Thanked:1

Posted: 07-18-07 17:36pm

I know how you feel. I was depressed most of my pregnancy. I didn't tell anyone until afterward and my problems got a lot worse. I felt guilty for feeling that way. I was "supposed" to be a happy glowing pregnant woman full of love and life and blah blah blah. But I wasn't I just felt terrible and sad and alone. On my birthday I refused to leave my house and I wouldn't talk on the phone. I urge you to speak with your care provider about this. I think it might help you to seek the advice of a counselor. But don't berate yourself. Not all pregnant women look like they do on TV and in the movies. Some of us are grumpy teraful emotional messes, but it will pass with the right care and treatment. My heart goes out to you, I do know how you feel. Please continue to post here for support. I assure you, you are not alone!
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young Girl

Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Jun 2007
Posts: 13932
Location: everythings better in, texas USA
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0

Posted: 07-18-07 17:45pm

i get depressed sometimes but im not constantly sad Sad i hope you feel better though

if you ever need to just talk or anything just let me know ok?
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victoria16

Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Jul 2007
Posts: 451
Location: ,
<3
Posted: 07-18-07 18:57pm

It is very understandable to feel this way. Having a baby is life changing.
I think you need to talk to someone like maybe a therapist maybe even your doctor can find a deppreession med. with low side affects for you and baby. Take a breather. Were all here if you need to talk. <3 Wish you the best of luck.
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Jennifer-grace

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 Jul 2007
Posts: 2

Posted: 07-27-07 18:37pm

thank u all for your replies. have had a bad week with my boyfriend, we are no longer living together because of my moods and stuff. its becoming difficult to have a rlationship with anyone especially him. but i did go to my doctor and i am seeing a few different people for medication, counselling and stuff, my boyfriend wont come back home until i get help. and as for our baby, i am terrified but im sure when i have my first scan in a couple of weeks i will be fine. i am warming to the idea of becoming a mum and hopefully i will be ok at it. i know i am always going to be depressed, its just finding a way to cope with it. my boyfriend cant wait to be a dad and even if we dont get back together straight away i will always have his support. thank u for all ur replies, they really cheered me up. x
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sillyakchick

Supporter
Joined: 12 Apr 2007
Posts: 2700
Thanks: 6
Thanked:1

Posted: 07-28-07 08:39am

It sounds like you have taken positive steps in the right direction. You don't always have to be depressed. I know it feels like it will never ever end, but hold out hope that some day you may not feel like this. Many people recover, and you could too! I am here for you.

How are you feeling with the pregnancy? Smile
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