i am about 8 weeks pregnant, i was so happy when i found out. now its becoming real, im sick all the time, i dont want sex, my boobs hurt, im tired and very grumpy and already look 4 months gone. i have suffered with depression for over a year, been trying different pills but they all hav side affects which dont agree with me. im getting so low im beginning to wish i wasnt pregnant. i feel awful for even writing it. i have had problems with PID in the past and i was on the pill so this baby is a miracle! now PID has come back im having severe pain in my womb and sometimes i just want my baby to fall out and have all the pain go away. i cant talk to my boyfriend about this because he doesnt understand and he wants this baby. we have told everyone and i will feel ashamed if i had a abortion. im so low that i dont even want to be with my boyfriend. we live together and we love eachother but this baby i can only see it will ruin my life. dads can always just walk away. i know a baby is amazing and i will love it as soon as i will see it but i have to admit im selfish. i miss drinking already, (i would never drink while pregnant, i watched a programme about FAS and its awful)i miss going out with my friends. i buy clothes any time i want. get up when i want. i dont think twice about buying a pair of jeans for Â£130 or a top at Â£50. i dont want to spend my money on a baby, im only young and buying myself stuff is my way of coping with shutting the world away, if i feel low i buy a top or some shoes. on the other hand its here and i should take responsibility. i dont feel attached to it at the moment. my boyfriend hugs me and kisses my tummy and just looks at it. im scared of getting fat. im terrified of it. i dont want post natal depression and im scared i will. im scared of it all and no one seems to understand my state of mind before this happened, no one has a chance now. i dont know what to do. i do believe childrens personalitys form in the womb and they feel everything. i dont want a child who gets depressed like me, i have probaly ruined it already. it knows i dont want it but i dont want to give it up. i just dont know what to do.
I know how you feel. I was depressed most of my pregnancy. I didn't tell anyone until afterward and my problems got a lot worse. I felt guilty for feeling that way. I was "supposed" to be a happy glowing pregnant woman full of love and life and blah blah blah. But I wasn't I just felt terrible and sad and alone. On my birthday I refused to leave my house and I wouldn't talk on the phone. I urge you to speak with your care provider about this. I think it might help you to seek the advice of a counselor. But don't berate yourself. Not all pregnant women look like they do on TV and in the movies. Some of us are grumpy teraful emotional messes, but it will pass with the right care and treatment. My heart goes out to you, I do know how you feel. Please continue to post here for support. I assure you, you are not alone!
It is very understandable to feel this way. Having a baby is life changing.
I think you need to talk to someone like maybe a therapist maybe even your doctor can find a deppreession med. with low side affects for you and baby. Take a breather. Were all here if you need to talk. <3 Wish you the best of luck.
thank u all for your replies. have had a bad week with my boyfriend, we are no longer living together because of my moods and stuff. its becoming difficult to have a rlationship with anyone especially him. but i did go to my doctor and i am seeing a few different people for medication, counselling and stuff, my boyfriend wont come back home until i get help. and as for our baby, i am terrified but im sure when i have my first scan in a couple of weeks i will be fine. i am warming to the idea of becoming a mum and hopefully i will be ok at it. i know i am always going to be depressed, its just finding a way to cope with it. my boyfriend cant wait to be a dad and even if we dont get back together straight away i will always have his support. thank u for all ur replies, they really cheered me up. x
It sounds like you have taken positive steps in the right direction. You don't always have to be depressed. I know it feels like it will never ever end, but hold out hope that some day you may not feel like this. Many people recover, and you could too! I am here for you.
i am 11 weeks pregnant and my depresion is worsening. this was a planned pregnancy, my first, and i could not wait, it only took 2 weeks, and the day i saw the two positive tests, i felt a fear. i didnt want to tell anyone, my bf slipped up and told everyone! i have since gone into an anxiety stricken isolation. my bf and i are not even getting along because he does not understand how to help me with my anxiety. i am deinately not the glowing happy specimen that a prenant woman is described to be. i know things can only get better......
Hi Mummied. I understand exactly how you feel. I feel the same way. I am 14 weeks pregnant, I'm 32, married to a great man, have a great job, supportive family. I have no reason to feel unhappy but I am. "Anxiety stricken isolation" is exactly how I feel. Everyday I wake up, I feel like a noose is tightening around my neck, and it's only a matter of time before I start showing and I have to tell people I'm pregnant. My mother already told most of my family even though I told her not to. I can't talk to any of them about it, because I can't give them the happy, excited enthusiasm they would expect. My husband is trying to be supportive, but it is very hard for him because he has no idea how I feel. I feel completed isolated. No one understands how I feel and I wish I could feel differently.
JennyBean, are you by chance still on this board? I am going through exactly what you went through. I cannot stop crying, I can't leave the house. I'm secretly praying for a miscarriage. I am a horrible person. I don't know what to do. I feel so scared and utterly alone. My husband just doesn't understand. I'm afraid to tell anyone how I feel. How did you cope?
I totally understand. This is my first pregnancy and it was planned but I did not expect to get pregnant in two weeks after seven years of being on the pill. I feel like I am all alone. I am just angry at everyone for no real reason. My husband is trying to be supportive of all of my emotions, but it is probably impossible. All I feel like doing is laying in bed and crying. It is not helping that my birthday is tomorrow (26). That seems to just be making everything seem worse. I am so scared and overwhelmed. I stopped taking my antidepressants as soon as I found out and now I wish I hadnt. I dont want to hurt the baby with them, but I dont know if I can handle this whole pregnancy feeling like this, or getting worse. I just feel lost and alone! Oh, and I hate my job which does not help anything
Hang in there folks... apparently this is *very* common.. severe depression is very common during pregnancy. I keep reading as many as 1 in 10 (10%) of us will experience this. some may not label it depression, but if you've experienced it before, it is not hard to distinguish from "hormonal" ups and downs. I was depressed last year and I was able to come through it with the help of medications and a positive work environment. I'm off in the summers (I'm a professor), and I do miserably when my mind is allowed to roam freely, so it is torture to get up every day right now. I'm in pain. Emotional pain, physical pain, unhopeful, feeling worthless and worst of all, simply unable to control any of this. My hubby is VERY supportive, but he's growing weary. I've decided I'll see a counselor. I do not want to go on meds while pregnant. I know some people must and THAT is OKAY. Its better than the alternative. However, I DO have hope that this will go away. I feel all the same ways you mentioned about not being the least bit excited about the pregnancy or the baby, even though I've been ready to start a family for over a year (I'm 30). PLEASE hang in there.. this WILL end. But don't neglect getting help and support! Lots of love in Christ! Thanks for sharing your stories. I feel better knowing I'm not the only one! If it helps, my sister in law told me she contemplated abortion after 4.5 months of morning sickness.. she was miserable and wanted it all to end. Now, she can not imagine her life without him. He's a wonderful child!
Reading these posts feels like a life saver. I've been feeling so low since finding out was pregnant (am 7 weeks now)and so alone as feels like such a difficult thing to tell anyone when you're supposed to be happy and joyous! This was a planned pregnancy (at thirty eight) and something that have been wanting for a very long time. Ive spent so long worrying (and boring everyone!) that afraid i wont get pregnant and now i am am horrified and depressed about it. I could feel it coming on shortly after the positve test, like a wave of anxiety and panic, after the morning sickness kicked in and other physical symptoms it's just worse and i feel completely out of control and paralysed. I have suffered with depression over the years and i know the feeling passes eventually but at the moment i feel desperate. Had a massive fight with my partner yesterday who is frustrated and confused with me as cant understand the dramatic change from wanting a baby and being soo excited about being pregnant to someone who cries all the time and doesn't want to get out of bed. This morning i drove to work but was crying again in the car so decided just to allow myself the day off as if i was physically sick even though i feel so guilty. Have an apt with the dr this morning whcih am terrified about (mainly in case they look at me and say 'it will pass'..). I know this isnt how i should be feeling and i feel desperate. Am so greatful for everyones honesty on this site, knowing am not alone literally feels like a life saver so thankyou.
Hi ladies. I understand totally how you are all feeling. I am eighteen weeks pregnant and have just started a prescription for Prozac, after a lot of crying and persuasion to get help by my husband. I have had depression and anxiety in the past on and off, and unfortunately, it has hit me again with a vengeance. At this stage I think the benefits outweigh the risks in my case. It is everyone's individual decision though, along with support from their GP's etc. This was also a planned pregnancy, which I was initially excited about for a month, and then it all went down hill. My husband is doing his best, God Love him, but I know my moods are affecting him and what should be a happy time for us both. I am really hoping with help, that I will turn a corner, in the next few weeks, as I am really living on my nerves. Great to find a site with all you women who are going through the same thing. Take care, all of you, and keep me posted.
I struggle with depression as well. I took anti-depressants for over a year, got better and came off them. I am 4 weeks pregnant and felt the anxiety and panic as soon as I saw the positive sign on the pregnancy test. I did not think I could get pregnant (im 2 and always thought if I did I would be excited. Well that did not happen! It was the opposite. Im scared and feel alone. I do not want to tell people how I really feel because I am scared of their reactions. I have considered an abortion, but I don't know if I can actually do it. I have not finished school and I have only been dating this guy for 6 months. I moved 8 hours from my family in Florida and I am stranded in Mississippi with no friends or no family and nothing to look at except walls everyday. I feel like I live in prison. I spend all day alone. I am confused and don't know what to do. I hate feeling this way. I lay in bed and do not get out
I am going through the same thing. I am 7 weeks pregnant and always thought I couldn't get pregnant as was trying for 3 years, so when I see the positive on the test I was shaking and happy but now I just feel like I will never have the life I am used to having, like general lay ins at weekends, shopping, just being able to relax all day etc I feel so selfish for typing this, I should not be feeling like this! I dont live in the same city as my family and friends, they are only an hour n half away but still feel so alone. What doesn't help is that me and my partner have been arguing lately over silly things but it makes me hate him!I know its a big change but I thought I would be soo happy having a baby! Please help
Hiya. I know how you feel. I was arguing with my husband over silly things aswell. You are going through all these emotions, as you are facing something new, also your hormones are raging, especially in the first trimester. You will adjust, and things will improve. You are just overwhelmed at the moment. Try to relax, I am going to join pregnancy yoga in the New Year, take care. x
the not so joyous pregnant girl... whos, sorta, trying
hey ladies! I think this is good, all of us coming out with our feelings with each other. It helps talking to those in the same shoes as you. and we arent really alone considering the miles that seperate us, knowing that someone else knows exactly how you feel through the same experiences. I certainly did not plan this. I am around 4 weeks now. my boobs are already HUGE and Im... well, farting at the worst moments I want to sleep all day and I hate this!I took this year to travel, it was something I wanted to do for years and always feared the work that would have to go into it. I started in september, staying in folsom,Ca and came back home for the holidays to re group and move on to phase 2 of traveling, which was to be arizona next. I was inspiring many, and I felt wonderful doing this... hard, but rewarding. was gonna start my motorcyle training this year as well, this was all brought on by my grandfathers death, and I realized that it was time to do the things that I wanted in life and stop finding reasons to back out. sooo. I come home (ohio) my boyfriend, who is a lovely creature and highly patient considering his rolling stone girl, waited for me, and was going to come with on phase 2. the reunion here at home...made a baby. now Im blown away. next step cant be done. this hurts me badly, but going through another abortion is not something I really want either. I cant believe this. but its here, and now Im hiding out, spending little time with family, and its confusing everyone as to why I seem to be disappering and hiding. my man is happy, and excited, and seems to be okay with our interupted plans, but Im not. I certainly feel selfish, but I want this year to do the things I may not be able to do later!!! life is so short. Im at a huge loss as to how Im going to emotionally pull through. Im a pretty strong girl, but its making me feel very weak.
im so glad hear that other people out there are just like me. I was begining to feel like i was the only one. I feel so selfish to feel like this. Ive been with my partner for 4yrs now, and we started trying straight away really. Now after all this time and all the heartache iv'e been through thinking i will never be a mum i'm finally pregnant. I was over the moon at first it was like a dream come true but lately i'm feeling that my life is done now. I'm even begining to become jealous of my partner for smoking and drinking as i have stopped. I miss having a drink at the end of the week i no this sounds sad but im not a big fan of clubbing a bottle of wine indoors does me. My skin is terrible and im getting bigger by the day. I'm argueing constantly with my partner as he don't understand and thats pushing me away from him. I don't want us to break up as we were so happy before this. But on the other hand i am scared to go a shrink as i'm worried what they may say!! ANY ADVISE? PLEASE HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!
its so so so hard, but try your best not to take it out on him. naturally you will have moments when you are jealous that he doesnt get big, get sick, he still gets to drink, so on and all, however... he will never ever get to know what its like having a baby grow inside him, and truly be connected to the child in that way. however, he should be supportive of you and your situation. tell him your fears and then try your best to let them go. this isnt the end of life for you. when the baby is born, you can drink again. Troy and I made a deal when the baby is born, I get to go out and have fun as soon as I feel better with my friends for a few nights while he stays home with the baby. since, thats what I have to do now. I do still hang with my friends though and I think its really important to do this. find your support, make your connections, be close with your family if you can. I have no problem with the idea of letting my mother watch the baby when we both need a break for a night. my skin is horrible too! gross actually. I even had a few people see the zit on my chin and say "awww honey, thats sucks" geezus. I know its there, but damn, do you have to mention it to me? Im still going through my feelings about all of this, I broke down again in the car today. cryin like a "baby" I was thinking, on the smoking thing... ask your man if its okay if he smokes in another room if he is not willing to quit. if he doesnt understand that than thats not a good sign. Im still waning off my smokes. down to 5 a day now which is huge for me. no drinking either and like you Im not much for the clubbing scene. I just want my wine again! Im a huge wine fan and I was craving it today quite strongly. sucks. oh merlot, when we meet up again, it will truly be a wonderful day!
I'm 7weeks pregnant & I feel so alone.This is my first pregnancy & I'm excited even though I'm having so many aches,pain nauseaetc. I want my family to be happy for me,but all they do is fight with me. I want to share my worries & my every changes with them but it's like they are never there for me. My sister told me "why is your pregnancy is a big deal there are million womens giving birth everyday. there are thosand more imp. thigs & you are thinking only abt. you being pregnant." I feel heart. I have no one to talk to abt. anything. My mom passed away long time ago. I feel like screaming why can't they be happy for me. why i'm feeling so sad