Teen Pregnancy Forum - Help 18 ? And Boyfriend Against

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Q: Help 18 ? And Boyfriend Against

asked by: little_lele89 on July 17th, 2007

Experienced User

im so confused.. i really need advice..

me and my boyfriend have been having unprotected sex for over a year. alothough i am on the pill there is still chances.
im not planning to try and get pregnant but i think i could be.. ive missed my period and i openly speak to my boyfriend about it all we are really open bout that stuff. and then i ask him what he thought about teen pregnancy and hes like like ummm.. thats NOT COOL at all..

its not something i want. but the reation was rude.. and i was hurt by it. and it just makes me think why does he have unprotected sex if he knows what could happen by his actions... =[......

Replies(11)

AyaMiyaki

replied on July 17th, 2007

Especially eHealthy

Well sweetie, he can't decide for you whether you keep the baby or not (if you are pregnant, that is). That's not his decision, it's yours.

If you turn up not to be pregnant, I'd suggest using condoms as well as taking your pills. You'll increase your protection and won't have to go through this again.

Good luck, and please keep us updated.

HcoBrunette06

replied on July 17th, 2007

Especially eHealthy

and by the way, you're not having unprotected sex!!! you're using the pill and that's birth control so it's protected Smile

good job and good luck!

Mabel

replied on July 17th, 2007

Moderator

He is having protected sex. You are on the pill, the risk of pregnancy is low. He has made it clear that he doesn't want children right now. I don't think that is rude at all. I think it is honest.

little_lele89

replied on July 17th, 2007

Experienced User

ohh i understand that he doesnt want a child.
i just think its rude the way he is acting and not taking in my feelings.
i understand it would be hard for him, but i know him inside and out... and i just felt hurt.,

CaNdItAs CrAzY LaNd

replied on July 17th, 2007

Supporter

well if he thinks that it isnt cool then he needs to wrap the package then the pill isnt 100% i got preg on it.

haliparot

replied on July 25th, 2007

Experienced User

little_lele89 wrote:

it depends on how your worded your question.

Did you ask him specifically that "if you turn out to be pregnant" what will he do?

OR

Did you just ask him about his views on "teenage pregnancy" in general?

If it is the former, then you have the right to get hurt. But if it is the latter, then I think that he is not trying to offend you or hurt your feelings.

benc152

replied on August 13th, 2007

Experienced User

AyaMiyaki wrote:

Well sweetie, he can't decide for you whether you keep the baby or not (if you are pregnant, that is). That's not his decision, it's yours.

I agree with using condoms but why not his choice? I'm new here so i'll add a quick background. Male, 17, 4 year old son that my mum raises as her own... my girlfriend at the time was planning on getting an abortion and nothing hurt me more. Perhaps it's the females responsibility for 9 months but it's a life long choice, for both of you.

Why can't he have an imput? =s

AyaMiyaki

replied on August 13th, 2007

Especially eHealthy

Because a man can't force a woman to remain pregnant against her will, sweetheart. He can offer his opinion on the situation, but until science is advanced enough to allow a man to carry a pregnancy to term, the decision remains the woman's.

benc152

replied on August 13th, 2007

Experienced User

AyaMiyaki wrote:

Yeah I understand that, but unless it was a rape situation or something I don't understand how a woman can force a man to go without a child or enforce one on him.

It should be a 50%-50% choice.

anyway yeah... I guess this doesn't help with the original question, but as a male I don't think I'd ever get over it if a child of mine was aborted. It's 9 months of pregnancy isn't that long compared to getting to have the joy of being a father for the rest of your life.

Rodge

replied on August 14th, 2007

Active User, very eHealthy

benc152 wrote:

AyaMiyaki wrote:

See, that's the thing. What you just said is reversible. A man should not be able to force a woman to go without a child or to enforce one on her. Pregnancy is not, in fact, nine months of sunshine and light followed by a walk in the park. It changes your body, and labour is actually pretty traumatic, especially if you're still growing.

As for the 50/50 decision? Tough. You're a guy. You can go dip your wick in some other woman, one who WANTS nine months of pregnancy and childbirth. Then everyone's happy.

benc152

replied on August 14th, 2007

Experienced User

Rodge wrote:

I guess there;s no point in continuing to argue.

advice for the original poster, despite it apparently being your decision and yours alone.. listen to your guy, let him talk about how he feels about it all even if you take no notice of it.

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