Schizophrenia And My Boyfriend Posted: 07-16-07 13:58pm
I've been with my boyfriend "John" for
over six months. I love him more than
myself and I'm very worried.
He was diagnosed with schizophrenia (he
doesn't like to discuss it so I don't know
details, all he's told me about is a voice
that he hears, which he never mentioned
after that and probably thinks I don't
remember because I was drunk when he told
me; but I remember...) when he was about
thirteen years old (he's twenty-one now).
He'd been in and out of hospitals every
couple months, and even spent around two
years in a mental health facility.
He's recently "confessed" to me that he
stopped taking his meds the day he met me.
He claims they only give him side affects
and don't truly help him with anything.
He has not been in a hospital or
institutionalized in about eight months.
His longest record out of hospitalization
before this was three. He says he no
longer feels suicidal because of me etc.
He's been able to keep his job for almost
seven months because he's been with me,
where previously he's only kept a job for
a month or so.
I am really worried that eventually I
won't be enough to hold his sanity back
(he claims I am the only thing keeping him
together).
I fear I may not be enough, it sounds too
good to be true, too good to last.
I am afraid that one day he might just
break and lose it.
From what I've heard from his parents, he
can get very violent and aggressive, and
can lose control of himself.
I've seen him angry a few times and it's
very scary. It's as if he's not himself.
There's a fiery void in his eyes and I
lose sight of him. He has not hurt me, and
I do not believe he would intentionally.
I am more worried about him than myself.
What are the chances that he might become
unstable, or might have an episode of some
sorts?
Is all I can do is give him my love?
(I will have to leave soon, time is of the
essence. But I will check in on the next
day that I'm able to return to the
library.)
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Philo
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 Mar 2007 Posts: 331 Location: Montreal
Thanks: 4
Thanked:0
Posted: 07-17-07 09:09am
You're in a difficult position and I am
sorry about that. There's no telling how
likely is an episode or breakout of some
sort. Being off the meds increases chances
of that happening, although you've got to
sympathize with him concerning the lack of
help he says they give to him and the side
effects. Maybe you could try suggesting
that he change his meds instead of
stopping them, and cite the violence as a
good reason to do it. Not all meds work on
all people, and it takes patience to find
the right one. I don't know if he's done
that. I also feel that it's not quite fair
to you to be the only thing he relies on
for his sanity - it is a heavy burden for
you. Most relationships deteriorate with
time - sorry, but that's the reality - and
he should have some other means of keeping
him steady.
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naomi48
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Feb 2007 Posts: 21 Location: europe
Posted: 07-19-07 00:34am
Hi Lucy, if you're still there - I've sent
you a pm...
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lucylucy
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 16 Jul 2007 Posts: 2
Posted: 07-20-07 09:28am
He doesn't believe in meds at all. If I
suggest he use any, he'd get upset that I
don't think he can handle it himself. (He
also doesn't believe in diagnoses:
"they're labels that doctors give people
to confine them".)
He doesn't believe his violence to be a
result of the diagnosis.
Over the past 8/9 years of his life he's
been trying out different meds and none of
them ever helped.
He's never been "steady" before. Until me.
If this relationship does fail, there
won't be anything keeping him fine, just
like before. Without me, he'll be right
back where he was. He could never find any
other neams to keep him steady. I'm so
worried.
He think saw the title to this thread in
my email.
I hope to death he isn't upset or
offended.
