Symptoms of depression include: constant feeling of sadness, irritability or tension, decreased interest or pleasure in usual activities/hobbies, loss of energy, decreased ability to make decisions or concentrate, thoughts of suicide or death etc. According to the symptoms you described, it seems that you've been suffering from this disorder.

You may consult a psychiatrist or another mental health professional who may advise psychotherapy or prescribe you medication if necessary. Sometimes, your community may also sponsor a local mental health clinic. Mental health is as important as physical health, and the professionals who work in the field will not look down on you. they are there to help. You can look for help from a local clinic, or seek a practitioner in your area via the internet.