hi justme. welcome. my My x boyfriend is bipolar is also happens to be the father of my son. Once people are diagnosed as being bipolar its really in their best interest to stay on meds. My x used to reduce his meds on his own and that would spark him into a manic stage. How long have you two been dating and have you been able to witness his manic and depressed states? What medicine is he on and how long has he been bipolar?

We haven't been dating that long, only about a month. He just told me over the weekend. He sees his doctor once every four months and takes Welbutran. He told me that his doctor wanted to take him off his meds but he wasn't ready for that.

Apparently he was hospitalized four years ago but everything has been stable since then. He was very upfront with me on it and I know he has a great support network within his family.

Due to the short period of time that we have been dating, I haven't really seen anything that was off-if he hadn't have told me I would have never guessed.

I didn't really know that much about the disorder until I started reading about it. Now I am more than a little freaked out. He is fantastic-but is this guy that I'm falling for the one that'll be around? I'm planning on having another chat with him now that I've learned a bit more about it, but I am just confused as to where to go with it.

Well I can only share withg you my experience and it wasn’t and continues not to be a good one. My x is a nightmare. WE lived together for a couple of months before I got pregnant and he didn’t tell me he was bipolar until after.For me I now have to worry if I will have to raise a bipolar child. From everything I have learned on line, I am scared for my son.My x is unreasonable but in the beginning he was charming and enchanting. Heres another good site someone on her told me about where you will find a lot more peole there that are married or living with bipolars.
[link removed]

Hello, I have many bipolar friends and I used to work in a psych unit. There are varying degrees of severity of bipolar. There can be the occasional break or a neverending onslaught of drama and heartache.

I would take it one step at a time. Do not jump into any serious commitments yet- but that is what you'd say to anyone who's been with someone only for a month.

Him being upfront with you is a good thing. Reading too much online is a bad thing. People are going to be posting their bad experiences much more often than their good experiences. Best wishes!

I agree with birch. There haven’t been many posts I have read with positive experiences with bipolars, probably because most people only post when things aren’t going good. You should find out how your boyfriends past relationships went. For instance if he dated lots of women. My x never had any long term relationships and dated lots of women. he had very few friends. That should tell you a lot.

Hello there. Looking above you all have good ideas but all in all this is a very personal thing. Living/dating/having a relationship with someone who's "bipolar" its all based on the people who are in it. I can tell you right off the bat that you shouldn't get worked up over some stuff you read on the internet. It is a good place to for information....but when your dealing with something/someone in your heart its really up to you.

From what jessika said, about his past, this is a good thing to look at because we are who we are because of the past....but that doesn't mean the past follows....its the past.

There are so many people out there wrongly diagnosed these days its sad to say many people who are diagnosed with bipolar can or are just depressed and going through tough times in there life.

If the guy you are dating is serious about you and you are serious about him....make an effort to work with each other. If he is bipolar then its a task, its a mission to keep positive and STAY ON YOUR MEDS! hehe

BTW this is all coming from first hand experience ^_^

Hey there Justme,
Lots of good responses everyone! I haven't posted on here yet but this particular
topic caught my eye.
It was just a few monthes ago that my boyfriend told me that
he had bipolar disorder. I remember having similar feelings where
i didn't know what to do and was scared of the things I read about it.
But I can assure you reading about it can cause your mind to make
too many assumptions. Alot of the time information on the internet
explains alot of the extreme cases of bipolar. It really really scared me.
Being in a relationship with a bipolar person has been the hardest thing
I have ever faced. However, I love my boyfriend so much and we are meant to be together. There are different ways of dealing with it. It you don't be realistic it won't work. If he is open and co-operative I have faith you can make it through if you truely love him. You have to remain true to yourself and make sure you are happy throughout it all. There will be times where he may hurt you but often it is the bipolar talking and not the person you love.
Give it a chance but be smart about it,
Hibiscus Chick

hello,
I am bipolar and I can tell you first hand when I don't take my meds I can't stand myself. I can't honestly see a doctor taking a patient off of his meds. Typically when we are diagnosed with this disorder our doctor tells us we will be on it for the rest of our lives. This was really hard for me to deal with. I took my meds the way I was suppose to and started feeling more normal. So in typical bipolar fashion I thought I was better. I took myself off my meds and within a few short months I was hell to deal with. If that tells you anything about a bipolar person coming off their meds..
As long as I'm on my meds I can deal with being with someone. When I'm off them I feel like a rabbid animal. BTW as far as "bipolar light" I have never heard of such a thing. However, there are several different types of bipolar disorder. I am Bipolar I which means I have more Manic episodes than anything. Even on my meds I have both manic and depression in my life it just doesn't get quite as bad with meds.

First off I have been with my husband for 4 years. He was on meds when we first started dating. I think each person in different on handling it. He suppressed his anger and when he blew up it was far worse than anyone could imagine. Shortly after we were dating he got off all the meds. He does so much better and I am not sure if is the way he has learned to cope with it or if the meds were making things worse. Now if he has a problem or in angered he will talk about it and not have world war III going down. He does have his days. Of course everyone does. He seems to be better off of the medicine. On all these replys I see they say to stay on the meds. I remember one time in particular (on the meds) that he got mad about something minor, I was in the passenger seat of his car and he through his phone right at my feet, may not seem like a lot but I was scared I had never had to deal with anything like this. He apologized later, but it is just the fact. Everyone is different!!!

Well I also think birch had some good advice. I think one day at a time is the only way to go since you're not really sure what the right thing is for you to do. I speak from both sides of the fence as several years after i was diagnosed as bipolar, so was my husband! We were well into our relationship however.

I think its a little odd that his doctor wants to stop his meds, but encouraging that he knows he isn't ready. The only other thing I could say is that it is good that you are doing research, but try not too get caught up in horror stories, because everyone manifests symptoms differently.

Blessings and Good Luck to both of you!
April

I have been dating him for almost a year. He recently told me about this condition, although I accidently stumbled on his 4 different meds for this disorder months ago so I already knew.

i have to tell you it has been a roller coaster ride. He is sooooooo charming and talented and I believe that is one of the reasons why I was attracted to him. Most of the time things are pretty good. I too was petrified by what I read on the net. But I think we have to also put into play what their personalitys are like in combination with the drugs.

When he has an episode lately it's been screaming and yelling over little things and it usually sends me running. Then he'll disappear for days at a time without a phone call. When he returns, it's like nothing ever happened.

I believe there are triggers that we all need to know about, for instances bad days at work, extra or heavy responsibilities. seem to set him off.

He tends to gamble alot(lotteries are his favorite) Loves the strip clubs, and sleeps alot on the weekends. Some of those I am willing to put up with simply because he was doing it before he met me.

unfortunately he had another blow-up this weekend and I haven't heard from him in a few days, won't even answer his phone. Hopefully if he comes around again we can have a talk.

I don't know what to tell you on how you all should manage, but I think patience is key here. And if things don't get any better, it may be time to move on Because we can't fix them.

good response caring1.

the bottom line is that with bipolar people you have to realize that you aren't going to change them and their highs and lows are something you will have to deal with everyday if you continue dating them. my x also will not answer calls when he gets angry. he is very immature in dealing with his feelings. yuou just have to decide if the person you are with is worth putting up with everything that comes with being bipolar

He might been in a hypomanic phase but its extremely unlikely its full out mania. If the guy had delusions, paranoia erratic behavior, you would have noticed something like that.

If you can't handle him having lots of highs/lows you should just ask him about his history after first being diagnosed and medicated. I've been bipolar for a few years and never been close to mania after starting medication and have only been moderatly depressed a few times. Its different for every person.

If he's only on Welbutrin it sounds like he might have more problem with the depression than the mania. Welbutrin is an anti-depressant...these days they toss around the bipolar diagnosis readily and sometimes people are misdiagnosed. It doesn't sound like he's on an anti-psychotic or mood stabilizer.

I'd ask him questions about his symptoms. Ask him what he's like when he's manic, ask him what he's like when he's depressed and ask him when was the last time he was those things. Trust me when he's manic you'd be able to tell...mania is no fun for anyone around the person.

Remember that Bipolar is a broad diagnosis. Some people are so severe that they can't leave the house other people work, have families, and live relatively normal lives on medication. Remember also that there are alot of famous people with the disease who have done incredible things. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_peopl e_believed_to_have_been_affected_by_bipola r_disorder